Memories pt.1
by lizzytish
Summary: the very very last chapter... It is all over. Enjoy
1. Memories- Part 1

Note:  
I don't own any of the character in higher Ground, Scott, Shelby, etc. But I do own Jordan Thomas,   
his sister Hailey Jade, and brother Dillon, and his other relatives.  
  
  
This is my first fanfic so don't flame me!!! I hope you like it though.   
  
Description:  
  
Jordan Thomas... a 15 1/2 year old smart mouth. He's done some petty things like stealing from drug   
and grocery stores, he hasn't done any major drugs. Only smoked some cigarettes, and drank a   
couple of times. His grades haven't dropped recently like many of the others at Horizon. His only major   
offence is running away or getting in fights in school. With almost model behavior it makes you wonder why   
  
he's at Horizon at all.....  
  
  
  
**Pt. 1**  
  
Jordan laid awake in his room. His body ached and he didn't really know why. He couldn't fall asleep   
either. He just waited.... waited for anything that would take the pain away from him. He sat up when he   
heard the footsteps outside. He got out of bed and hid in the corner. Hearing his step dads footsteps so close   
to his door at this time of night was not a good sign.   
  
He waited until the footsteps went passed. He practically stopped breathing as the shadow of that man   
walked by his room. Then Jordan got back in bed. He still couldn't fall asleep. It was 1 'o clock, then 2, then 3.   
He still wasn't asleep. He got up yet again and closed the door the rest of the way. He turned on his light and   
from under his bed took a picture frame.  
  
The picture frame was just one of those little ones kids make in camp. Made of popcicle sticks, and   
beads, and sequins, and all that other junk. Inside was a picture of 3 kids. The oldest, a boy about twelve with   
dark brown hair and blue-green eyes., was holding a little girl who looked 5 or 6, with curly blond hair and blue   
eyes. She was wearing a little sun dress and her hair in pigtails, and next to them was another little boy,   
probably 9 years old. He had the same color brown hair as the older boy. You could tell that the two were   
brothers and that was their little sister with them.  
  
Seeing the picture again, a tear ran down Jordan's face. "Don't cry you freaking wuss. It's only a lousy   
picture." Jordan told himself. The words sounding strangely like his stepfather Jackson's.  
  
"I remember when this picture was taken. About 1 1/2 months before Hailey and Dillion left. Hailey loved that   
sun dress." Jordan said smiling. He had gotten her that dress for her 6th birthday, the week before the picture   
was taken.  
  
"Man I miss you guys so much." he said as his hand glided over the glass, touching the faces of his   
brother and sister.   
  
  
  
The next morning....  
  
"Why do I have to have a God Damn Idiot as a son." Jackson yelled at Jordan.  
  
"I'm not your son." Jordan yelled back angrily. He hated when Jackson called him that. He wasn't Jordan's   
father. No where near as great as him either. His father Matthew had died when he was 5 or 6, of cancer. It   
came and took him quite quick. Leaving Jordan with just his mom. But Jordan loved him a lot.  
  
"Damn right your not. And don't talk to me like that." Jackson said and smacked Jordan across the face   
twice.   
  
The abruptness of the act sent Jordan falling over backwards, sprawling to the floor. Jackson came at   
him, and Jordan covered his face.....  
  
  
  
A couple of days later he was on his way to Mt. Horizon. A school for troubled teens. It was far away   
from his home in Vermont. It had taken a while to get here.  
  
"Don't you say a thing to them about "it" or anything else." they threatened him on the drive there.   
And as always he obeyed.  
  
He didn't know what their excuse they used to send him there was. but he knew that they were trying   
to build up the "model parents" image that the outside world saw.   
  
But he had been good about keeping "it" a secret. He had since he was little. He knew that they   
would find nothing in his record that could latch to any sort of problem that he had. He could keep his secret   
easily.   
  
"It's not like they'll find anything about it." he said. "I haven't done drugs, I haven't let my grades slip.   
I've only stole but that was for....." His thoughts were cut short, they were there.  
  
====================================================================================  
  
Sophie and Peter were puzzled at the new admit, Jordan Thomas. He was due at Horizon any minute.   
  
"Why do you think he's here?" Sophie asked peter As they waited for the Thomas's car to pull up. "From   
his file, His grades haven't dropped greatly, still A's and B's. He's never done any hard drugs Peter. All he's done   
is a couple of shoplifting charges and some school yard scuffles. Definitely not the typical Horizon Material."  
  
"Maybe we're overlooking something Soph. Something not there. It was once said never judge a book   
by it's cover. Maybe we'll find something later on. Something that the files didn't pick up. They didn't get all   
of Shelby's abuse."  
  
Sophie remembered that. The night with the camping. When Shelby found out her stepfather had a   
heart attack, and she was glad. Scott had figured it out of course that he had done something to her. When   
Scott confronted her she destroyed the camp. Sophie always hated to see reactions like that. When the kids  
were screaming for help but no one was there.  
  
===================================================================================  
  
Jordan stepped out of the car. He pulled on his baseball cap that he had on. Though the black eyes,   
the ones he had gotten the few days before he came, due to the "fight" (it was practically one-sided) in the   
kitchen with Jackson, had cleared up a little, they were still pretty colored, and puffy. He didn't want the   
administrators here to see them.   
  
Stupid....black eyes...first day....What are they going to think? God, I should have used like cover up   
or something.... he thought. Then "Why are you so worried about it?" "Cause it's been drilled into you so   
many times. That's why" He said talking back to himself.  
  
"Hi. I'm Peter Scarbrow, and this is Sophie Becker." The guy standing next to the car said. "You must be   
Jordan, and Mrs. and Mr. Thomas." he reached out in a hand shake.   
  
Jordan looked down and watched as Jackson and his mom shook hands with Peter and Sophie.  
  
"Jordan, shake their hands." his mother said through her teeth and tightly squeezed his arm, her nails   
digging into her skin. He winced.  
  
"Mrs. Thomas." Sophie said acknowledging what had just happened. "It's perfectly normal to show   
resistance at this stage. We won't pressure him into anything he doesn't want to do." Mrs. Thomas shrank   
back a little, you could tell she was kind of intimidated by Sophie's little act.  
  
Just to spite his parents Jordan shook Peter and Sophie's hands. Peter was puzzled at his behavior and   
felt a strange tension between the couple and Jordan. He decided to split them up.  
  
"Sophie why don't you take Mr and Mrs Thomas to the Admission Building and brief them on what's going   
to happen while Jordan's here. Jordan why don't we take your luggage and things to the lodge. We need to   
check you out with the doctor and then I need to check your luggage and we need to have a little talk." Peter   
said.  
  
Jordan picked up his bags and followed Peter leaving his Parents with Sophie.....  
  
  



	2. Memories- Parts 2 and 3

Disclamer- I don't own higher ground. It's characters, scott, shelby etc. But I do own Jordan and the rest of the thomas's and  
Jordan's friends from his home. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah  
  
Note: This continues with part 1. It's still Jordan's first day at horizon and he already gets introuble. (hehehe) Plus we learn   
some more intresting things about him.  
  
  
  
Pt. 2  
  
Jordan and Peter were in front of the Nurse's office. Jordan was suppose to be getting his physical. But he   
really didn't want to.  
  
"No. I hate doctors...." he said stubbornly. "They scare me. I'm not going in."  
  
"Jordan, you have to. It's regulation. Mary Anne won't hurt you. She doesn't bite" Peter said trying to get Jordan  
to go into the office.  
  
"I don't care. I'm not going to go."  
  
"I'm going to have to go call your parents if you don't." Peter said to him.  
  
That got to Jordan right away and he gave in. "Fine. I'm going." he said and went in.  
  
It wasn't that he was scared of the doctor per say but what the doctor might find. Doctors did 2 things in   
his eyes. They found cancer in Good people, and also they caused trouble. (More about this later on)  
  
Jordan went in. Mary Anne was waiting for him. "You must be Jordan." she said.   
  
"Yeah, who'd you expect, a monster." He said snottily, expecting her to get mad but she just laughed.  
  
"Well actually no. Okay. I can tell you don't want to be here so we'll make this quick. I'm just going to   
give you a quick check up, blood test, and breathalizer test, which is mandatory by the way. So if you want to   
give me your arm, I'll do the blood first." she said nicely to him.  
  
Jordan pulled up his sleeve. There were cuts and a couple of burn marks on it. He forgot they were even   
there until she said something.  
  
"How did you get these cuts Jordan." She said pointing to some on his upper arm.   
  
"Bicycle accident" he said. "When I was 12."  
  
"And these down here?" she said as she took some blood.  
  
"Um. That big one is from Cutting. I've cut myself before, what's that called, um.. self-mutalation" he   
said laughing. "The burns, they were accidents. If you were wondering." he said to her.  
  
Mary Anne asked no questions about his answers. She went on and gave him the thermometer and took his  
temp, looked at his eyes, and throat. Then she checked his reflexes. They were fine.  
  
"Now I want you to lay down on this bed here." she said pointing to the examining table.  
  
As Mary Anne was checking his abdomen, pressing here and there. When she got to just below his right rib  
cage Jordan yelled in pain.  
  
"Oww. Hey, watch it lady. Don't touch me again." he said getting up.  
  
"Jordan, sit down. I promise I won't hurt you again." she said, Jordan almost believed her.  
  
"Don't believe her you moron, how many times have you heard that line before? But if you don't  
she'll call Peter." he thought to himself and realizing that, he sat back down.  
  
"Okay. Sorry about that. Now can you pull up your shirt so I can see what's the matter." she asked  
nicely. In a voice Jordan hadn't heard in a while.  
  
Reluctantly Jordan pulled up his shirt. Revealing a black and blue mark, about the size of a softball, right   
under his ribs, the place where he had been kick by Jackson, in the kitchen.  
  
"How'd you get this?" she asked.  
  
"Fell out of bed during the night. Landed full force right on my shoe. It hurt like hell." he said, adding   
the last part of believability.  
  
"Jordan, we don't use that language here." She said trying to be as polite as possible, but Jordan was  
beginning to get on her nerves.  
  
"Whatever. Can we please just get this over with?" he said sounding equally annoyed.  
  
"We just need to check your breathing and then the breathalizer test."  
  
"Breathalizer test first please." he said knowing he would pass, and he did to.  
  
"Good Job. Now pull up your shirt." She said to him.  
  
"Do I have to?" I don't like doing that. The stethoscope's cold." he said whining.  
  
"Fine." she said giving in. "Take a deep breath. Breath in, and out."   
  
He did what she wanted him to and then went out.   
  
"Peter, can we leave. That lady's a witch." Jordan said as he took his bags.  
  
"Sure Jordan." Peter said, and sighed. He thought he was beginning to realize with Jordan's behavior  
why he was sent to Horizon.  
  
===================================================================================  
  
Sophie and the Thomas's....  
  
"Mrs. Thomas, how did your late husband die?" Sophie asked looking at a copy of Jordan's transcripts.  
  
"Matthew had cancer. It was in his kidneys and it happened quite fast. But it hit hard. Jordan blamed himself, I  
think he still does." Mrs. Thomas, (a.k.a. Kendra) said sickingly sweetly.  
  
"How old was Jordan when he died?" she asked  
  
"Jordan just turned six about two weeks before Matthew died." she answered.  
  
Sophie wrote that down in the margins of the paper. "When did you two get married. How did Jordan   
react?" Sophie said.  
  
"We got married when Jordan was 7." Jackson said. "I don't think he liked it. It was so soon after his   
father's death. We started dating about 2 months after."  
  
"Don't you think that's a little to soon? With a loss like that, for a little kid I can understand." Sophie said  
feeling kind of mad at Jordan's parents.  
  
"Well I have a life to. I wanted to be happy. Matthew and I weren't really that close anyhow. He mostly  
stayed for Jordan." Kendra said in a stuck up tone (probably borrowed from Juliet's mother!)  
  
"Okay." Sophie said. "And one more thing. It says here that Jordan's brother and sister are living with   
their grandparents? Why is that?"   
  
Jackson and Kendra looked at each other. Like they were trying to figure out what to say. "Um.. We   
couldn't take care of them. Money got real tight for a while and we had to let them go." Kendra said in a voice  
sounding like she was going to cry.  
  
"Okay. Now I'll show you around campus. Peter will probably be with Jordan for a while. Setting down   
the rules." Sophie said and led them to the door.  
  
====================================================================================  
Holding room (similar to the one in Scott free, where Peter searched Scott's things.)  
  
"Okay Jordan, the rules here are simple... There's no drugs, no sex, no violence.." Peter said laying out the   
usual rules just to be interrupted by Jordan.  
  
"Yeah I get all that crap. I read the brochure." Jordan said.  
  
"That leads to the other rules. NO inappropriate language. You must have respect for the others in this   
school. And last but certianaly not least, anything you say to me, Sophie, or any of the other counselors at Horizon   
will be strictly confidential. Kept between us. Unless of course there was a thought that you might hurt yourself  
or someone else. Then we have to contact the proper authorities." Peter said as he made his way to Jordan's bag.  
  
Peter started with Jordans suitcase. There was the normal stuff, clothes, toothbrush, brush, toothpaste. But   
there was also coverup make up. Peter took it out.  
  
"What's this?" Peter said holding it up.  
  
"Incase my skin breaks out. I don't like showing my zits." Jordan said.  
  
Peter continued. He got to a picture frame. The same popcicle frame from earlier. "Are these your brother  
and sister?" Peter asked.  
  
Jordan got up and grabbed the picture. "Don't touch that. It's mine." he said and held it close to him.  
No one ever was suppose to touch it. It was his and if his mom and Jackson knew they'd probably break it on him.   
Plus it was the only thin of his brother and sister's that he had left.  
  
"Okay." Peter said and went through the rest of the bag. Then he checked Jordan's bookbag. He came up  
with a box cutter, and a bag of pills.  
  
"Your a cutter Jordan?" Peter said in that disappointed voice he had when ever he finds something he hopes  
he never will in a kids bag.  
  
Jordan looked embaressed, he hated to admit it cause he did do it sometimes. But he hadn't lately.  
"Yeah. But I haven't done it in a while. I SWEAR." he said. Unlike before peter could tell he had hit a nerve and   
Jordan wasn't lying.  
  
"I believe you Jordan, But I have to take this. And we'll have you under supervision for a while until we   
know you won't do it again."  
  
"Okay." Jordan said, kind of releaved.  
  
"What about the pills?" Peter asked holding up the bag.  
  
"Since when is it a crime to carry some aspirin around with ya. I get car sick and I do get head aches."   
Jordan said sarcastically.  
  
"I'll believe that. But let me tell you one thing Jordan, aspirin and cutting don't mix. That combination can   
kill you. It thins your blood, causes more bleeding." Peter said and put the aspirin in a bag with the box cutter.  
  
"Yeah I know. But..." Jordan said stopping himself.  
  
You loser, think of what'll happen if you tell. Mom, Jackson.. any of this ringing a bell in your mind.  
Shut up...  
  
"But what Jordan?" Peter said and turned around. "What is it."  
  
Jordan grew silent again. He wouldn't even open his mouth. It was a skill he had perfected in his years of  
questioning. It worked on cops, on doctors, on nurses, on nosy teachers, on social workers, anyone who had  
asked to many questions. The only problem was some people got pretty ticked at it.  
  
"Jordan, are you okay." Peter asked concerned.  
  
Jordan just stared blankly ahead. If he kept his mouth shut about the past he wouldn't get hurt. He   
wouldn't get in trouble. He wouldn't get punished, no one would be mad at him. He wouldn't have do deal with the  
past, the memories that brought so much pain back.  
  
"Jordan, I can see you don't want to talk about anything right now. That's normal. Why don't we go back   
out front and say good bye to your parents. And then I'll introduce you to the cliffhangers and get you settled in."  
  
Jordan and Peter walked out to Sophie and the Thomas's.  
  
"Bye Jordan, honey. We'll miss you. Be good understand." Kendra said in yet another sickingly sweet voice as she  
hugged him tightly. squeezing his back.  
  
"Bye Son. You behave yourself. Don't do anything you wouldn't do at home." Jackson warned.  
  
The comment broke Jordan's silence. "I'm not your Freakin son. I hate you. I HATE YOU BOTH. Don't call   
me that. You don't deserve to be called my father." Jordan screamed. Peter had to hold him back.  
  
"We're sorry about that Mr. Scarbrow, Mrs. Becker. Jordan has little outbursts like that all the time lately.   
Well we better be going or we'll miss our plane." Kendra said as her and Jackson got in the car and drove away  
  
====================================================================================  
  
  
Part 3  
  
The lodge....  
  
"Cliffhangers, come here." Peter yelled when he got to the lodge with Sophie and Jordan.  
  
"Yo wazz up Peter." A Latino kid asked.  
  
"We have a new groupie Auggie." Peter told the kid.  
  
"Hey dude." Auggie said putting out his hand. "I'm Auggie."   
  
"Oooh, It's a newbie." A girl with longish dark brown hair said. "I'm Juliet."  
  
"I'm Kat." a black girl told him. "The senior cliffhanger."  
  
A weird looking guy with curly black hair came up. He gave him a head nod. 'I'm Ezra." he said.  
  
Next to him was a girl with dark hair to her shoulders. "We come to embrace yet another newbie. I think   
this calls for a good ol group session." she said sarcastically.  
  
"That's Daisy." Ezra explained. "Our human fortune cookie,slash Gandi."  
  
"Pleasure to meet ya." Daisy said.  
  
"You guys, where are Shelby and Scott?" Sophie asked.  
  
"They're coming. Scott had to finish writing a song for the piano." Juliet explained.  
  
Just then a blond haired guy and girl come up.  
  
"Sorry Peter, believe we got stuck in traffic?" Shelby asked, not yet seeing Jordan.  
  
"We have a new cliffhanger Shelby. We're having group in a minute."  
  
Shelby looked at Jordan "Robbing the cradle a bit aren't we Peter. What is he 14?"  
  
"I'm 15 and a 1/2 actually. I'll be 16 in 3 months." Jordan said defensively.  
  
"I'm Scott, that Shelby." the boy said. "What's your name any ways.  
  
"This is Jordan Thomas. He came here today. Yeah he's new. He'll be a cliffhanger from now on."   
Sophie told all of them. "Why don't we get group started."  
  
"Juliet, Can I see you over here for a minute." Peter asked. "Sophie you go with the others and start group.  
Do one of the tribal scream activities... I'll be there in a few."  
  
The rest of the group left to go sit in the chairs while Juliet stayed behind.  
  
"What is it Peter? I know my calorie count is good. I haven't thrown up. I'm following everything." Juliet   
said sure of herself  
  
"It's the new kid Jordan. He's a cutter. I don't think he's done it in a while. And I don't think it's serious.   
But I want you to talk to him after group for a few minutes. Please Juliet?" Peter asked her nicely.  
  
"You really want me to do that? Isn't that kinda a Kat thing to do?" She asked excited but yet unsure of   
herself.  
  
"Yes I do. After your little episode a couple of weeks ago I think that you learned enough to talk to   
Jordan about it. I think your qualified. Maybe next time you can even be a buddy." Peter said.  
  
"Thank you Peter!!!" Juliet said looking ready to kiss Peter on the cheek she was so bubbly.  
  
"Now why don't we go back to group now." Peter said, as he but his arm around Juliet and walked back   
to the circle of chairs in the middle of the lodge.  
  
When they got there the group had finished their little scream. Sophie told them all to sit down and   
reintroduce themselves to Jordan, and he to them. They were going to say their name and then, cause it was   
group, how they were feeling right then.  
  
"Scott, why don't you go first." Peter said.  
  
"I'm Scott. And right now I really want to be playing the piano, cause Shelby and I are writing a song." Scott  
said looking across and smiling at Shelby.  
  
"Ezra?" Sophie asked  
  
"I'm Ezra, and I really feel like crap, since Daisy rejected me." Ezra said still bitter at the fact that she  
"just wanted to be friends"  
  
"Okay, Shelby."   
  
"I'm Shelby and right now I'm mad at Peter cause I don't think we need any new people in our little group.  
Look what happened with David, and "Amanda". I don't think we can trust a new guy." she said thinking bitterly  
about David and his lesbian comment, and the night when Amanda had pressured her to reveal her secret to   
the group and to Scott, who just recently forgave her.  
  
"Shebly, that's not nice." Sophie said. "But since that's what you feel we'll move on, Juliet."  
  
"I'm Juliet, and Right now I feel really good about myself cause peter gave me a new job to do." Juliet said  
smiling.  
  
"You go Jules!" Auggie said happily, in the voice he used whenever Juliet felt good about herself.  
  
"Auggie, why don't you go next." Peter said.  
  
"I'm auggie, And right now I feel happy that Jules is fealin good, and also happy cause Homes aint the new   
boy, anymore. New Meat." Auggie joked.  
  
"Kat, how bout you."  
  
"I'm Kat. I'm sad that I'm leaving Horizon soon. Graduation isn't that far away." she said. "But that I got  
accepted into the collage that I wanted."  
  
"Good one Kat. Daisy."  
  
"Daisy, And I'm mad at Ezra for not agreeing with my feelings. It's not my fault." she said glaring at him,   
she had hoped nothing would have changed, that they would still be as close, but they weren't.  
  
"And Jordan, your last."  
  
"Jordan, you all. And I think this whole thing is stupid, I don't belong here. I didn't do anything wrong.   
My parents were just finding the easy way out." he said to them.   
  
"Okay Jordan, but why don't you try another comment. Please." Sophie said.   
  
"Fine. I'm Jordan, and I think that this place is Okay. I'm mad at my parents for sending me here cause  
I don't think I belong here. But I'll try." he said. Stressing every little point in his sentence.  
  
"Okay. Why don't we end group for today." Peter said getting up. "Daisy, Ezra, Kitchen. Kat, go fill out   
some collage aid. Shelby, Auggie, crafts. Scott and Juleit you stay here along with Jordan."   
  
Daisy and Ezra went off to the kitchen, Kat went to her dorm, and Shelby went to crafts. And   
Scott and Juliet stayed where they were. Along with Jordan. Peter came up to the three now sitting in a row next   
to each other on the couch. Jordan in the middle.  
  
"Scott, your going to be Jordan's buddy." Peter told him.  
  
"But. Why I was already David's buddy. I've learned my lesson there." Scott said complaining.  
  
"Scott, be his buddy or you'll be on kitchen restriction for the rest of the week. You failed your last 3 math  
tests. You need to have a little boost in the right direction." Peter said and laughed.  
  
"Blackmail." Scott said and shook Peters hand laughing.  
  
"Jordan, that means Scott with be with you at all times. He'll show you around campus, you'll eat meals   
together, do the exercises together, attend sessions together. All that stuff. He'll answer any questions you have."  
Peter explained.  
  
"I don't need a baby sitter. I can find the way around myself." he said.   
  
"Oh boy. Believe me you can't. I didn't get a buddy when I got here, for the first 2 days. Believe me.   
They help a lot. And don't pull anything cause I DON'T want a "buddy-hike-back" Scott said.  
  
"Scott Why don't you go to the dorm. Jordan's already scene it. We'll meet you there." Peter told him.  
  
"Sure.' Scott said and left.  
  
"Jordan. I'm going to leave you and Juliet here to have a little post admission talk." Peter said and then   
nodded at Juliet and walked away.  
  
  
Juliet sat, she was really nervous. She didn't know what to say to Jordan. She hardly even knew what to  
say to herself sometimes. Jordan just sat looking at her. Making the sense of uncomfortableness even worse.  
  
"Talk already." Jordan said.  
  
A few more minutes of silence past until Juliet spoke. "I heard your a cutter." she said to him.  
  
"I guess.... I mean I was...." he said not knowing what to say.  
  
"I am." she said kind of soft. Like she was ashamed at it, which she was, she knew it was a bad thing,   
but she couldn't help herself.   
  
"You are?" he said surprised. He didn't know anyone else that cut themselves.   
  
"Yeah." she said and pulling up her sleeve. The cuts she had made the few weeks before just before  
she ran with Auggie. Were healed up mostly. All except one. There were a lot of scars there though.  
  
"Why'd you do it?" he asked her.  
  
"I got a letter from my mom, she was getting married again. To what is it, number 5, 4, one of the 2.  
I was suppose to be going but then she said that I couldn't. I was mad. And plus I'm like an eating disorder melting  
pot. I did it to take away the pain that she had caused me. Pressuring me to be the "perfect" daughter." she said.  
  
"Is that why your here?" he asked. "Cause you cut and stuff."  
  
"That, and I tried to commit suicide once from it. Everyone freaked. They sent me here to get help cause  
I couldn't get it at home." Juliet said.  
  
"Oh." was all he could say.   
  
"Why do you cut?" she asked him.  
  
"I haven't in a long time. Not in like 2 months." he said,  
  
"Not since Hailey's 8th birthday." he thought to himself.   
  
"But when you do, why do you cut." she asked serious and directly, unlike the usually meek Juliet.  
  
"To take away the pain I guess. By doing it myself, no matter what anyone else does to hurt me. It's no  
match for that feeling when the blade cuts your skin. Everything disappears." he said.  
  
"When did you start?" she asked him.  
  
Jordan thought back. And he couldn't shut up no matter what his mind was telling him. It was pouring out.  
But he knew to keep restraint on what he said.  
  
"When I was 13 was the first time. When Hailey and Dillion were taken away." he said almost in a whisper.  
  
"Your brother and sister?" she asked, wishing Peter were here to hear this.   
  
He just nodded his head.  
  
"Why were they taken away?" she asked innocently.  
  
Then Jordan got defensive, the same way he had gotten when peter asked him in the holding room.  
  
"What is this 20 questions. Shut up. I don't want an interrogation. Shut up." Jordan yelled at her.  
  
Juliet started to cry and Sophie came up to her.  
  
"Jordan, go to your dorm now! Wait there until Peter comes to talk to you." she yelled at him and then  
across the lodge while trying to comfort Juliet. "Drew, take Jordan to the Cliffhangers dorm. Ken go tell Peter to   
get over there."  
  
=====================================================================================  
  
The Kitchen.  
  
Daisy and Ezra were barely on speaking terms. They were taking their frustrations out on the dishes.   
Ezra was scrubbing them furiously. Daisy was drying them as fast as she could. She was getting madder at Ezra  
every minute that there was silence. And he was feeling worse and worse about what he had said. Finally Daisy  
ended the silence.   
  
"You jerk. Talk to me. I'm hating you more and more when you don't. Your my best friend Ez. That should  
be enough for you. It is for me." she said and threw a glass onto the floor.  
  
Ezra started laughing at the glass. It was plastic so it didn't break. He knew that was what she had hoped  
would happen.  
  
"Hey. It's not my fault we don't have glass glasses." she said and started laughing to.  
  
Ezra looked at her. And then threw some soap suds at her. That started a soap sud war. Jeff came in and  
caught them. He just started laughing.  
  
"If you guys can clean this up in the next 10 minutes. I'll tell Peter nothing." Jeff said unusually happy.  
  
"Um. Who are you and what have you done with Jeff's soul?" Ezra asked looking at Jeff.  
  
"Ezra, cut it out. I'm just in a really great mood today. Well I have to go. I'll check back in 10." he said  
as he left.  
  
Daisy and Ezra looked at each other. Usually Jeff was uptight and a klutz. He hadn't tripped on the wet  
floor and he had let them off without the chance of restriction. Really freaky.  
  
"What do you thinks up with him?" Ezra asked.  
  
"Men." Daisy sighed. "It's gotta be a girl you moron."  
  
"Hey. Look who's talking you were the one who thought a plastic cup would break." he said chuckling.  
  
"We should clean this up. 9 minutes left." Daisy said beginning down to get the cup.  
  
They started cleaning.  
  
===================================================================================  
  
Cliffhangers Dorm room  
  
As soon as Drew had escorted Jordan to the Cliffhangers dorm, Jordan was feeling awful. He had made a   
girl, a girl he had just met even, cry. He hated seeing people cry. And to think he caused it... He felt awful.  
  
His hands were trembling as he sat down on his bed. "Your becoming more and more like Jackson.   
You can't be like him. NEVER!!!" He said to himself. He had meant the comment to comfort him, but it had made him  
feel worse.   
  
He put his head in his hands and breathed deeply. He wanted this bad feeling to go away. He hated himself.  
  
"Maybe it was a good thing to leave" He thought. "Maybe now you'll stop acting like him. Be yourself again."  
  
He felt the need to cut right then. He tried to find anything to cause himself pain. He had done one of the   
things he'd said, he'd promised, he'd never do. But he had.   
  
Finally he had found a little piece of glass, little but sharp, on the floor. But just as he was about to make   
the first slash Peter came in.  
  
"Jordan we don't tolerate this behavior. Juliet was trying to help you." Peter said to him.   
  
Sitting on the bed across from him. Jordan had to look down just so he couldn't see Peter, see the angry,   
mean look that he thought would be in his eyes. The look that was always in Jackson's and Kendra's eyes, when   
they looked at him, yelled at him.  
  
Jordan didn't say a word. "Don't talk. You'll get hurt less that way." he told himself.  
  
"You've only been here what? 7 hours Jordan. And you've already done enough to but you on restriction,   
shuns even. " Peter said and then thought to himself. "Good thing I buddied him up with Scott, he's got that  
record to, but he ran."   
  
Jordan still pretended not to be listening. But he heard every word. He was practically scared to death.   
Wondering what Peter would do to him. He hated not knowing what people would do to him.  
  
"Do you have anything to say before I decide your punishment?" Peter asked.  
  
There was one thing he wanted to do. "Can I um..." he said still scared.  
  
"Can you what Jordan." his voice softening a little.  
  
"Can I apologize to Juliet please? Before anything else. Then you can do whatever you want to me. I  
just have to tell her I'm sorry." Jordan said insistently.  
  
"I'll make a deal." peter said.   
  
Jordan never got deals, breaks. It was always getting what he "deserved". He didn't know what to think.  
  
"You are to keep a journal everyday. Scott WILL make sure you write it. You are to write an apology to   
Juliet right now. Scott will stay here with you. You need to be under supervision. You guys will go to dinner  
together. Then you can either write some more our you can hang out in the lodge with the other cliffhangers.  
At dinner you are to give Juliet the letter and apologize to her remember."  
  
"Okay. Can I start now?" Jordan asked, picking up a piece of paper.  
  
"Go ahead, and Jordan don't do that again." Peter said as he left and Scott came in.  
  
Jordan started writing.  
  
"Dear Juliet,  
  
I'm so sorry about yelling at you. I'm sorry that I made you cry. I swore I would never make   
a girl, or anyone else, cry. If I could take it all back I would. I feel awful. I tried to cut but that Peter guy came  
in. It's like I hurt you so I deserve to be hurt worse. "Bad boys deserve to get punished" you know.I'm sorry   
and I hope you forgive me. I would understand if you didn't I mean you were trying to help me, so Peter says,   
and I made you cry and feel bad. I don't really think I deserve your friendship after that. But It's your call.   
I guess It would be nice to know another cutter. No one else I know cuts. Your the first. I'd really like some   
one to talk to about it. Sorry Again Juliet. I'll make it up to you somehow.   
  
Jordan"  
  
There. The letter was finished. Then he thought of Peter's words, "Start a Journal." So he did.  
  
"They made me see a doctor today. I HATE doctors." he started to write in the little purple notebook  
his grandparents had sent for his birthday. "Their evil and they suck. They do 2 things. They find bad stuff in good  
people. They found cancer in Daddy (God I sound like a little kid saying that one). They made Daddy die. Made  
mom blame me, I don't know how she did but she did. They were the one's that told Daddy he was sick. Not me.  
they told him he was sick and he died. Why couldn't they say mom was sick and let her die? They also took  
Hailey and Dillion away from me. They found the bruises on Hailey's back, and Dillion's back. I still wonder how   
that happened. How they got there, I mean didn't I protect them enough. Unless it was the night Jackson and   
mom came home real drunk, hehehe ohhh, that sucked big time. What if she (the doctor) had checked me?  
What would have happened. Oh well.... I am so mad at myself. Juliet, this girl at horizon, was talking to  
me about cutting. When she asked about Hailey and Dill, I flipped out at her, I made her cry. Oh God, I'm   
more like Jackson every damn day (sorry bout that, lost track). I hate them even more for that. I hope they   
get what they deserve for it all someday."  
  
Just as Jordan finished writing Scott called him. "Hey ready for dinner?"  
  
"Yeah." Jordan said as he grabbed the letter and they walked out.  
  
=====================================================================================  
  
When Scott and Jordan got to the dinning hall they went over and handed Juliet the note. She read it but  
didn't say anything.   
  
"I'm really sorry." he said as him and Scott walked away to get dinner.  
  
As Scott and Jordan were walking back to the table Auggie came up. He was mad. He pushed Jordan's tray   
to the floor.  
  
"Yo. Dude, you made Jules cry. Man that's low. I ought to mess you up." Auggie said putting up his fist.  
  
Jordan closed his eyes and braced himself for the Hit he knew he deserved. He knew that if Auggie pounded  
on him, he would deserve that to.He waited for the punch, but it never came. Jordan opened his eyes. Scott had  
caught the punch.  
  
"Yo Homes, what's up with that?" Auggie asked Scott angrily.  
  
"Settle down Aug. He apologized. He feels bad enough man." Scott said calming Auggie down.  
  
Auggie looked at Jordan, who was still kinda scared. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make her cry. REALLY."  
Jordan said.  
  
"I'm sorry to. I just don't like it when Jules cries, she does things." Auggie said. The two shook hands.  
  
As the three guys made their way to the cliffhanger table. Juliet spoke up.  
  
"Jordan, I accept your apology." She said and sat back down.  
  
The rest of the cliffhangers were happy about that. They all sat down to eat. Jordan had to be the happiest  
at the table that night.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED......  
  
I know thats not a great ending but I needed to finish part 2/3 like that cause part 4 is a little later. 


	3. Memories- Part 4

Part 4  
  
NOTE: I do not own any characters of Higher ground (Scott, Shelby,etc) but I do own Jordan, Jackson, Kendra   
and any of the other people that were in Jordans life before Horizon.  
  
NOTE 2: Sorry if I offended anyone with the word damn following God in (sorry about saying it again). I felt   
there was really no other way that I could get the point of Jackson's words across without it. I felt bad writing it   
and again I am sorry if it offended anyone. I will refrain from using it in the future. And about the box cutter in   
Part 2. Some people might not have gotten its meaning... Jordan uses it to cut himself. Hope this clears some   
things up.  
  
  
Plot: In part 4 we learn more about Jordan. Sophie and Peter talk about why Jordan is here. Daisy and Ezra learn   
more about Jeff's love interest.  
  
====================================================================================================================  
  
Auggie, Ezra and Scott, along with some of the other cliffhanger guys, were up, it had to be 2 in the morning.   
They were looking at Jordan. He had to have been the only one asleep at that time. Jordan had been at Horizon   
for almost 1 full month now. And these nightly outbursts in his sleep were becoming another ritual at the   
Cliffhanger boy's dorm.  
  
Though Scott had had dreams over his months at horizon, about his time with Elaine, about the nights he  
had to spend with her, the guys were used to that. But his only lasted for a few minutes, and weren't that loud.  
He just begged for her to stop, whined slightly, and then he always woke up before the bad stuff happened. And  
plus he hadn't had a dream since he had talked to Peter, at least not one bad enough for the guys to tell him.  
But even Scott thought Jordan's dreams were different.  
  
"Man, If I were this bad, I hope the guys would tell me. I wonder what's going on inside his mind right now."  
Scott said to himself.  
  
Jordan was loud. No matter where you went in the dorm, wether to the bathroom or to your bunk, you  
could hear him, unless you were a sound sleeper. Jordan would toss and turn, he would yell, he would beg for   
something (the guys couldn't hear what). But they all had their ideas.  
  
Tonight was one of those nights.  
  
"Mom, make him stop, make him stop." Jordan begged in his sleep.  
  
"Please, mom..Jackson.. stop. Please it hurts." Jordan cried as if in pain as he squirmed around in his bed.   
"I promise I won't do it again. Just stop. he whined.  
  
"Homes what do you think's going on inside there?" Auggie asked this one night.  
  
"Man, I don't know. I really don't know." Scott said as confused as the rest of the guys.  
  
=========  
  
Jordan was scared, especially after what had he done this time. He had to find a place to run to.   
Jackson had been drinking again. Mom would be home any minute and after the school had had to call her   
at work to tell her that Jordan had failed his last two science tests he knew he would be getting it.  
  
"How could I have failed. I mean... earth Sci is so easy for me, star trails are easy. Man how did this   
happen." Jordan asked himself as he ran up the stairs.   
  
But he knew why he had failed them. The first one was on the day he had been up all night studying for   
his big Latin test, the huge one that he had actually managed to get a 100 on. The second one was on that day   
that he had gotten his tetanus shot and the pain was the only thing he could think about. But he knew they   
wouldn't take that as an excuse for getting a 55 on a test. And besides even if he managed to get straight   
100s on all his other tests that 55 and 50 would do a toll on his average.  
  
He was up in his bedroom when he heard the front door slam open. He tensed.  
  
"Jordan Alexander get your hide down here now." his mother yelled, he could sense the anger in her   
voice.  
  
Jordan trudged downstairs. He knew that if he stayed in the safety of his room, even for a little while   
longer when he went downstairs the beating would be even worse. He had learned that from experience.  
  
"Might was well get this over with." he said to himself.  
  
When he got to the living room they were waiting for him. He noticed that Jackson was up, which meant   
that he was at least partially sober right now. Jordan didn't look up at them he didn't want to see their eyes.  
  
"Mrs. Scotsman called me at work today Jordan." his mom said as she walked behind him, rubbing his   
shoulders. Jordans body tensed at her touch.  
  
"Wha.. What did she say?" Jordan asked kind of scared.  
  
"Don't play stupid with me Jordan. You already know." she said pulling his hair, he was in her hands now.   
"She said you failed your last two science tests, is that right?"  
  
"Maybe? I don't know."  
  
"Give me an Answer Jordan?" she said pulling harder. "Yes or no. It's that simple. And let me tell you.   
I don't want you lying to me again." she said and pulled some more.  
  
"Ye... Yes. I failed the last two." he said and closed his eyes.  
  
"Your making fools of us Jordan, we don't like calls like that. You know that don't you. It makes us, me   
and Jackson look like we aren't good parents. And that's not true is it Jordan." she said in her tone she always   
used when she felt the power she had over him.  
  
"No. It's not true you are good parents?" he said not believing it himself, but telling them what he knew   
they wanted to hear.  
  
"Good I'm glad we came to an understanding But you still need to be punished. Bad boys always get   
punished." she said and punched him in the stomach and handed him over to Jackson.   
  
Jordan toppled over in pain. And just as he was about to stand up Jackson kicked him in the shin. Now   
Jordan was defenceless and he knew it to. Jackson picked him up by his neck and punched him. The pain stung   
the right side of his face. He punched him again and again. Jordan could feel the blood trickling from his nose.   
He could taste it in his mouth.  
  
"Mom, Make him stop mom, make him stop." Jordan begged.  
  
He always did that. Even though he knew she wasn't listening. And given her turn would have done the   
same to him as Jackson. But it was his own mother. Maybe someday she would care enough to stop him.   
  
Jackson kneed him in the chest. Jordan gasped for breath. His mom laughed.   
  
"Please mom... Jackson stop. Please it hurts." he said trying to get away. "I promise I won't do it again.   
Just stop."  
  
But he knew they wouldn't. Jackson lifted Jordan to his feet and as his hand came up Jordan braced   
himself.....  
=====================  
  
"No!!" Jordan said waking up from his dream. He was breathing hard and his heart was thumping.  
  
"Dude you okay?" Scott asked as he got back into his bed.  
  
"Yeah I think." Jordan said looking at the clock, 3:30. "Oh man, was I doing it again. I am so sorry."   
Jordan when he realized he had had another one of his dreams what had woken up the dorm room.   
  
"It's okay J. Where used to it by now." Auggie said understandingly. "What was happening in it. You   
sounded awful."  
  
"No...Nothing. Nothing at all really." Jordan said trying to sound believable.  
  
"I hope I didn't say anything stupid, revealing tonight." Jordan thought to himself hoping he hadn't.  
  
"If you don't want to talk about it that's okay. But next time we're gonna have to call Peter." Scott said,   
that had been the same thing Auggie had told him one night a couple of months ago.   
  
"Sure whatever Aug." Jordan said suddenly to tired to fight with anyone tonight, he flopped back in bed.  
  
"By the way J, who's Jackson?" Ezra asked.  
  
"No one. Just my step-dad." Jordan said, still hoping he hadn't spilled anything.   
  
"What did he do to you?" Scott asked. "Your mom too? What did they do to ya? Did they rape you?" he   
asked innocently.  
  
"NO!! why would you think that?" Jordan said defensively.  
  
"Cause my step-mom. The Skank..." Scott began.  
  
"A.K.A Elaine." Ezra filled Jordan in.  
  
"Thanks Ez." Scott said and shook his head in annoyance.   
  
"Any ways. The Skank, raped me. I used to have dreams about her doing it to me. You know I saw her coming   
into my room again and again. All those nights she would come into my room... those nights when she would   
make me have sex with her...played back in my head in my dreams. It was the only thing I dreamed about. Well   
almost. Then it got so bad I used to see her when I was awake. It would come back to me. When I told it was   
gone. That hold she had on me when I was asleep was gone. I knew she couldn't hurt me anymore. Peter   
taught me that." Scott said kind of understandingly.  
  
"So J. What homes is trying to say, in short is that if you say someone's name in your sleep, they either   
had to have hurt you or something happened that hurt you, not them." Auggie said.  
  
"Whatever man. Can we just go back to sleep." Jordan said as he rolled over. He didn't want to hear   
anything else.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
PETERS OFFICE  
  
Sophie was looking for a file in the file cabinet when Peter walked in. He grabbed her by her waist and   
twirled her around.  
  
"Hey Soph. Whatcha looking for?" Peter asked as he look his pen out of his mouth.  
  
"Jordan Thomas's file. He had his month meeting today Peter. At 2." Sophie said as she went back to her   
file.  
  
"Don't remind me." Peter said sighing. "It's on my desk. I've been looking at it practically the whole week   
trying to find the littlest thing that would give me a clue as to why he's really here. I mean I can guess but..."   
Peter said hesitantly.  
  
"But what Peter?" Sophie said concerned.  
  
"Soph. There is nothing really in there. It's like the file's missing something. I don't know what..."  
  
"Yeah I felt that to. But there's something else. I can hear it in your voice." She said as she sat down   
on the couch.  
  
"I have a feeling Soph. I have a feeling that Jordan is hiding something he doesn't want us to know.   
Something that he's afraid of. His shadows."  
  
"Yeah. Go on. What's your feeling, what's it based on?"  
  
"Jordan's been here a month. He's still not participating in group. He won't do any of the group activities,   
accept for the quests. And there's still resistance. If you ask him something he doesn't want to talk about he   
shuts down. He won't talk, he won't look at you, he shuts down like completely." Peter said. "That's not good   
Soph. And no matter what I've done it won't work."  
  
"Maybe a solo hike?" Sophie offered.  
  
"Don't you think it's to early for that? He needs to learn more skills first." Peter said.  
  
"He's the only one of the kids that can start a fire on his first try, and that was on his first quest. I don't   
think it was beginners luck either.. I think he knows more than we give him credit for. I've never seen a new   
kid take to the mountains like him." Sophie said.  
  
"I know but...." Peter said hesitating.  
  
"We'll do it in 3 weeks. He'll be ready by then. I'll train him if I have to. But if he's like you said he is,   
if he needs it that bad when we'll send him out as soon as we can." Sophie said.  
  
"Fine. I'll tell him then I'll call whoever I have to call." Peter said.  
  
"Any ways. There was more you had to say wasn't there?" Sophie said realizing how she had interrupted.  
  
"I think I'm going to have to make a call to his hometown." Peter said. "I want to call social services there   
to see if they have his complete records. I'll call while Jordan's in here. I need to call the police station there   
to. He had shoplifting charges on here, about $20.00 worth of stuff each time. I want to know what he took.   
I'll take anything at this point." Peter said and put his head in his hands.  
  
"Well I gotta go. The mail's coming and Daisy and Ezra are on mail duty for the next three weeks." she   
said and then remembered what she came to talk to Peter about to begin with. "One more thing." she said   
looking back.  
  
"Yeah What sophie?" Peter asked.  
  
"Had Jordan ever really looked you in the eyes, like when you talk to him or when he gets in trouble or   
anything?" Sophie asked. She didn't wait for an answer because she knew that peter got her point.  
  
=============================================================================  
  
Daisy and Ezra were waiting for the mail truck to come. Jill was riding it today. She was better than the   
other weekly mail man Horace, who was old and kind of hard of hearing by now. Jill was really nice and always   
happy.  
  
The white mail truck pulled up. Sophie came up to the truck first and checked the mail. Then Jeff came   
out when Sophie left. He practically ran to the truck. But being the klutz he is tripped and fell down two of the   
stairs. Jill helped him up as Daisy and Ezra came over.  
  
Jill and Jeff were laughing. Their eyes met and Daisy and Ezra felt like they were intruding on something.  
  
"Um.. Hello?" Daisy said like she was trying to contact life on other planets. "Jill can I have the Cliffhanger   
mail please."  
  
"Su.. Sure" she said taken aback a little and also emberessed. "You wait to Jeffy" she said winking at Jeff   
as she stepped into the truck.  
  
"Oooooooooooooohhh!!! Jeff's gotta crush on the mail lady." Ezra laughed.  
  
"You two watch it. I could put you on 3 weeks garbage detail after your little incident with the soap   
suds. So I'd watch what I say at the moment." Jeff said sneakily.  
  
"BLACKMAIL!!!" Daisy and Ezra said at the same time. Luckily they were spared by Jill walking out with   
the mail. There was a full box this time.  
  
'Thanks Jill, bye you two." Ezra said.  
  
"And behave yourselves. Your in public." Daisy said as the walked away.  
  
=============================================================================  
CLIFFHANGERS BOYS DORM  
  
"MAIL CALL" Daisy said as soon as she got in the boys room.  
  
Auggie, Scott, and Jordan came up as soon as she said it. The waited impatiently.  
  
"Auggie. A letter from mom and dad." Daisy said handing it to him.  
  
"About time!" he said ripping open the envelope "What's it been 2 weeks since the last one?" he asked.  
  
"More like three. The other one came around the 20th I think." Scott answered.  
  
"Thanks homes." Auggie said as he sat down on his bed to read the letter.  
  
"Scott.. Mom" Ezra said handing him a heavy manila envelope. "Dad and Elaine..." he said handing him   
a regular sized envelope. "Your grandma...." he said handing him a little package. "And a kid named Patrick."   
Ezra said handing him a little envelope.  
  
"Who's Patrick?" Ezra asked.  
  
"Yeah who is he Homes? You've been getting a lot of mail from him lately." Auggie said looking up from   
his letter.  
  
"He's a friend from school. These..." he said tapping the envelope. "Are football trading cards, of our   
home team at least."  
  
Scott went to sit on his bed to open his moms letter but Ezra interrupted him.   
  
"You gonna share grandma Barringer's cookies with us later or what Scott, cause If you say no I promise   
you no mail for the next three weeks." Ezra said laughing.  
  
"Yeah Ez. At dinner." Scott said throwing a pillow at Ezra.  
  
"Ez, you get any mail?" Auggie asked.  
  
"Yeah he did." Daisy said. "This is from Clay." she said handing Ezra a small box. "And this is from your   
parents." she said handing him a letter.  
  
"Good old mom and dad. I wonder what they want to do to destroy my existence yet." Ezra said in the   
tone he'd used about them since their little act during their last visit.  
  
"EZ don't worry about them." Auggie said.  
  
Ezra went to his bed to.  
  
"Um...Um.. Is there anything for me?" Jordan asked shyly to Daisy.  
  
"Yeah. Here's 4 letters. I don't know who their from because I can't read the writing. Sorry bout that   
Jordan." Daisy said handing the letters to him.   
  
"Thanks Daisy. It's okay.' He said and went to his bed too.  
  
As soon as Daisy left the guys asked about Jordan's letters.  
  
"Who are they from?" Ezra asked.  
  
"Jamie, one of my best friends from back home." he said.  
  
"oohhhh J's gotta girl."Auggie laughed. "And she doesn't go to this school. A miracle."  
  
"Then theirs one from, my grandma." he said laughing and tossing it on his bed.  
  
He looked at the writing on the next one. It was from his mom and Jackson. He instantly felt sick to his   
stomach. He hated their letters. His face turned white. He got up and threw it in the trash.  
  
"Who was that from?" Scott asked.  
  
"Mom and Jackson." he said angrily glaring at it.  
  
"Dude, settle down. It was just a letter. They aren't here." Scott said.  
  
Jordan looked at the concern in on scotts face and the sick feeling was gone.  
  
"I know." he said and looked at the other letter, a smile spread across his face. He started laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?" the guys asked.  
  
"My um... my little sister and brother sent me a letter." he said smiling, feeling joy, and yet sorrow at   
the same time.  
  
"Yeah so?"   
  
"I'll tell you later." he said stuffing the note in his pocket. "I have to go see Peter and Sophie."  
  
"Take the other letter with you, the one you threw in the trash. If you want to throw it out tell them   
and they'll do it for you." Auggie said.  
  
Reluctantly Jordan did and ran off to the main office.  
  



	4. Memories-Part 5

Memories-Part 5  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own any original higher Ground characters. BLAH BLAH BLAH But I do own Jordan Thomas, his mom and stepdad Kendra and Jackson. His sister Hailey Jade and bother Dillion. His social Worker Max Anderson and Helen Brandon. I also own Jill Trinity, the mail lady and her little nephew Alex.  
  
In this chapter- Jordan's meeting with Peter, Jordan's letters. And Jeff's first real date with Jill.  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!! PRETTY PLEASE  
  
PETER'S OFFICE-  
  
Jordan ran into Peter's office. The door was open, or else he would have knocked. He was surprised that Peter wasn't there. Only Sophie. And she looked like she had something on her mind.   
  
"Hey Sophie." He said awkwardly. "Where's Peter?" He asked.  
  
" Peter had to get a fax from town because ours isn't working He'll be back in a few minutes. Have a seat" She said. "Relax."  
  
Jordan sat awkwardly. (Have you ever noticed that when someone tells you to relax it makes you uneasier?) Well, Jordan felt really awkward now. He sat back in the chair and put his hands in his Pockets, he felt the 2 letters he had in his pocket. Jamie's, and Hailey and Dillion's.   
  
"Do you have anything to do while we wait?" Sophie asked.  
  
"I've got mail to read." He said taking out Jamie's letter and his parents.  
  
"You can read them if you want to. I'm going to call Peter." Sophie said and left the room.  
  
Jordan got up and looked quickly out the door to see if anyone was coming. Then he took out Jamie's letter and ripped it open. It had a slight hint of the sent of her favorite perfume on it. It was Jordan's favorite too and he smiled while he imagined her there with him.  
  
He unfolded the letter. It was 3 pages long. He saw the slight curve in her handwriting. That meant she had taken a long time writing it, trying to make it look nice because usually her writing was kind of sloppy but this wasn't.  
  
"Dear Jordan, Hey honey (just joking). I miss you here at home. So do Rylan and Jake. Rylan is in kindergarten now. Can you believe they just grow up so fast :). Mom and dad miss you to. They wish they had known you were leaving. They were going to give you a goodbye present. Jake got you something that mom and dad will be sending you soon. I think they're waiting for you to get settled in. Cause you really don't want to get it before people make solid opinions of you because this could ruin it all. (A hint- it has something to do with rocks and paint- a pet rock, how babyish right :))"  
  
Jordan laughed and but down the letter for a minute to check the door to see if Peter or Sophie was coming in yet. They weren't so he picked up the letter again.  
  
"Anyway, How is Mount Horizon? That's the name of the school right? I wish I could say that I couldn't believe they sent you there. But I guess it's for the best... maybe. I just don't get why. I mean there is nothing really totally wrong with you is there Jordan? I mean you would tell me wouldn't you. Maybe it was your stealing, or the running, or the cutting. I wish you wouldn't do that, cutting. I hate to see you do that to yourself. I hope you aren't doing it there Jordan, I want you to get better. But I guess I'm glad you're out of there though Jordan. Jackson was going to ruin you. I see you becoming like him everyday. And I don't want them to do that to you, to ruin you like that Jordan I mean he's not that bad really but he's definitely NOT like your dad was.. I want you to be like your dad. Wasn't he cool. Remember when it was your birthday and he took us to the mountains? Now that was awesome. I hope that you tell them at horizon about him. Make yourself remember when it was good and not crappy. I miss you so much Jordan. I miss seeing you there in your yard outside my bedroom window in the morning. I miss your smile, well when you did smile. I miss talking to you and knowing how you are. Even though I know you kept stuff from me. I know there's something that your hiding from me Jordan. I just wish I knew what. Just do me one favor if you love me and my family and your brother and sister as much as I know you do. Tell the people what your secret is. Like the old saying 'The truth will set you free.' I think you need a dose of the truth. Love ya, Jamie!!"  
  
"'The truth will set you free.' What kind of line is that." Jordan said to himself. "They also said 'The truth hurts.' If I remember correctly."  
  
Jordan reread the last part of the letter.   
  
"She knows." He said to himself. "She knows, but I have no idea how she knows. But she knows about mom and Jackson and 'it'."  
  
The idea that Jamie might know the truth about his home life sickened him. They had been friends forever and after Jackson and Kendra had started hitting him real bad and stuff Jordan had tried to hide "it" from her. He wanted her to think he was safe now. She had always cared so much about him, even when they were little and the thought of her worrying so much about him if she knew that they hit him. His mind wandered back for an example to reassure that he was "justified" in not telling her. An earlier memory came up.  
  
******FLASHBACK*******  
  
Jordan sat on the steps in front of his house. It was late spring. His dad was getting worse and Jordan, even at 6, knew he wouldn't last much longer. Tears fell from his eyes. His dad was everything to him. His whole world. But Jordan knew he'd die soon. He started crying. He tried to wipe his tears on his navy blue top but they kept flowing.  
  
That's when he saw Jamie coming from 2 houses down. He tried harder to wipe the tears away cause he knew that would make her cry to. By the time Jamie came the tears were gone.  
  
"You were crying." Jamie said sadly. "What's wrong?"  
  
Jordan looked at her. 'Girls' he thought. Boys weren't supposed to like girls when they were six. But Jamie, he couldn't stop liking Jamie. She looked as sad as he felt.  
  
"Daddy's gonna die." He said solomly, looking intently on a piece of leaf on the grass so he wouldn't have to see her eyes.  
  
"Are you sure? I don't want your dad to go away." She said crying to.  
  
"Mommy says so."  
  
That's when Jamie started crying. Jordan couldn't cry cause he didn't want her to cry harder.   
  
*********END FLASHBACK**************  
  
"Maybe she doesn't know." Jordan said trying to convince himself of the idea. But that wasn't working. 'I mean how could she.'  
  
Another good question. How could she have known about "it". But before he could think of an answer Peter and Sophie came in.  
  
"Sorry I'm late Jordan." Peter said as he sat down in his chair. "I had to go to town to pick up some stuff for our meeting."  
  
Jordan winced at the idea of what Peter might have. Police reports, medical reports, school documents what? Not knowing what Peter had and what he could use against him made Jordan feel uneasy, and more than that vulnerable. And Jordan hated that feeling cause it meant that you could get hurt more easily. He needed to swallow hard because his mouth got so dry.  
  
"Wha...What kind of stuff?" he said almost choking on the words.  
  
Sophie and Peter sent a look at each other over Jordan's head. They could feel how tense Jordan was and it was kind of worrying them.   
  
"Nothing really. We just got a hold of some sources back home. Mainly the police station. I wanted to know what could be the problem because we really can't identify a real reason that you're here." Sophie said, trying to be serious but comforting.  
  
"Cause they wanted me off their backs. My parents. They never wanted me" He said to them in reaction.  
  
Peter and Sophie looked at him. He had no anger in his voice. Well just a bit but for the reason that they didn't realize what he thought they should know. But besides that it held no emotion. It was like, Peter and Sophie thought, that he really believed it was true.  
  
"By the way. They sent me this." He said throwing the letter on Peter's desk. "I DON'T want it."  
  
Peter looked at the letter and then at Jordan. "Okay. We'll keep it for later then. Just incase you change your mind."  
  
"Whatever." Jordan said giving up. He didn't care. The letter cold sit there in Peter's desk for all of eternity and he would be affected by it one bit.  
  
"Anyway." Sophie interjected trying to change the subject. "We would like to talk to you about you."  
  
Jordan took a breath. He closed his eyes for a minute. He didn't want to talk about himself. That lead to secrets being told and stuff. Almost like the first day when Peter had asked him why he cut.   
  
"Jordan?" Sophie asked, shaking Jordan from his thoughts. "You okay."  
  
Jordan didn't look up but nodded his head. "yeah. I'm fine. Talk."  
  
"Jordan, who was your social Worker back home? Did you have one?" Peter asked.  
  
Jordan laughed sarcastically. Usually case workers dropped faster than flies around him. Things always happened that made them leave his case. "Max Anderson." Max said naming his last social worker. "My brother and sister, theirs is Helen Bradley. If that was the second question you were going to ask. And I know it was." He said.  
  
Peter wrote the names down. He'd have to call them later. He looked at his watch. The meeting was nearly finished and they hadn't covered anything yet. Especially not the idea of the solo hike. But it seamed like Sophie read his mind because the next question she asked was;  
  
"Jordan, how do you feel about going on a solo?" Sophie asked.  
  
A smile crept on Jordans face and then disapeared quickly. Hikes brought back so many memories of his father that even brief ones, like the short quests the Cliffhangers went on, reminded him of the camping out he had done with his dad.  
  
Jordan hoped no one had seen his smile, but Sophie had. "I guess that's a yes." She said cheerfully. But there was no cheerful response from Jordan.  
  
Memories hurt. Jordan knew that hiking alone would make this happen. And he had heard about solo hikes. You have to reconnect to your "inner child" and Jordan's childhood hadn't been the best. As much as he wanted the hike he didn't want to face the memories.  
  
"I didn't say anything." Jordan said. He looked down at the floor again and just shut up.  
  
A few more questions were asked. But Jordan wouldn't answer. He didn't look up from the floor and he wouldn't respond in the slightest. Finally Sophie and Peter gave up.  
  
"You can go Jordan." Peter said hiding the disappointment that he was feeling.  
  
As Jordan got up and walked out of Peter's office, Sophie gave a disappointed look to Peter. The smile had meant something. But after that Jordan shut down. That was the scary thing. The shutting down.  
  
"I don't like this Peter. I don't like this one bit." Sophie said as she too left. She had Kitchen Supervision next.  
  
And Peter had to agree with her. Something was definitely wrong with the way Jordan was acting and neither of them liked it very much.  
  
  
LATER ON THAT DAY  
  
Jeff sat at a table at Rusty's. A country song playing in the background. Jeff was on his 2nd glass of Coca-Cola. He sat in a book along fidling with the straw wrapper. Jill was supposed to have met him 1/2 an hour ago.   
  
"Maybe I'm early." Jeff thought. Then he checked his watch. 7:30. The date was to have started at 7 on the dot. "Or maybe she's just extremely late."  
  
A few more minutes past before Jeff thought he should call Jill. He went to the back of Rusty's and dialed but just as the first ring came, Jill ran in.  
  
"Sorry I'm late." she said tripping over her own feet and falling into Jeff's arms, causing him to fall over also.   
  
Everyone in the restaurant turned to look what the noise was. Jeff and Jill got up shyly and brushed themselves off. They went to the booth Jeff had set aside for them laughing.   
  
"Sorry I was late. My nephew was over and he's a teenager. So I had to take him to his mom's. And my sister insisted I stay for a while." Jill said babling. They were both nervous.  
  
"It's okay" Jeff said, reaching for the pitcher of Soda. "Coke?"  
  
"Sure." Jill said as she handed her glass to him.  
  
But of course Jeff spilled it. It got all over.  
  
"I'm so sorry." Jeff said blushing.  
  
As they went to pick up the soda they both bumped heads. And they started laughing more. By the end of the date they were both sticky from the soda, had bruises on their heads and elbows from bumping into and falling onto each other, and their stomachs both hurt from laughing so much. And the sad thing is is that they set up another date.   
  
"See you next Thursday." Jeff called as he walked away from Jills house. Almost tripping into her plants. It had been a great night.   
  
  
  
BOYS DORMS  
  
Auggie, Scott, Ezra and Jordan got ready for bed. They brushed their teeth and covered themselves up with blankets. It was 10:00. The Cliffhangers wondered how long they would sleep tonight,.  
  
"Remember. Another dream and we're telling Peter." Scott said, giving him the same ultimatum that Auggie had given him not long before.  
  
Jordan looked at him and then turned over. He was to annoyed to say anything. "Whatever dude."   
  
Auggie clicked off the light. And all was silent.  
  
  
PETER'S LIVING ROOM.  
  
Peter and Sophie were sitting on Peter's couch eating mint chocolate chip ice cream (*remember the ice cream from seductions!!*). They were looking through the file that they had gotten from The police office in Jordan's home town. It was going to bea while before they found what they were looking for.  
  
"What are we looking for again Peter." Sophie asked yawning and then taking a bite of ice cream.  
  
"I don't know, but I'll know when we see it." Peter said smiling to her.   
  
  
To be continued!!!  
  
In the next chapter- Another dream perhaps?? Or maybe another secret?? Or a solo hike?? Another persons story plot?? You'll just have to read and find out :) :) :)  



	5. Memories- Part 6

Memories- Part 6-   
  
Disclaimer I don't own any of the Original Higher Ground characters. But I do own Jordan Thomas, his mom and step-dad Kendra and Jackson. His sister Hailey Jade and bother Dillion. His social Worker Max Anderson and Helen Brandon. I also own Jill Trinity, the mail lady and Aubrey, Shelby's friend.  
  
In this chapter- Peter and Sophie are still searching for a clue. Shelby gets a letter from someone she hasn't heard from in a long time. Juliet talks to Jordan again.   
  
PETER'S HOUSE-  
  
Peter and Sophie have been searching for anything about Jordan's past for the past 2 hours. They haven't found anything yet and they are both getting tired and discouraged.  
  
"Maybe there isn't anything here Peter. I mean it does look that way. We've been searching for a while." Sophie said yawning.  
  
"I know. But something's got to be here. Something just has to. It doesn't make sense. None of it does Sophie." Peter said.  
  
"Didn't you once say 'Not everything is in a file' Peter?" she asked as she got up to stretch and put the bowls in the kitchen. "Well maybe that's the case here."  
  
Peter seemed to contemplate that fact, his quote and all. But still, the pieces didn't fit in the puzzle. Not all this stuff was in the file that he had gotten and that was giving him the notion that someone was hiding something. He just don't know who and what. But he kept his feeling hidden from Sophie.   
  
"I know." He said, trying to please her. "We can stop looking. For now at least."   
  
Sophie flopped on the couch again. She was tired. She leaned back and started dozing off and eventually went to sleep. Peter covered her with a blanket and then went to sleep to.   
  
THE NEXT DAY...  
  
Shelby and Scott were sitting at the Piano. Shelby had her hands on the keys and Scott was guiding her fingers. He was trying to teach her to play the piano so they could both play the song that Scott was working on and Shelby was helping him on. Sometimes Scott would make her mess up on purpose. Then they would laugh about it.  
  
"How old were you when your mom started teaching you to play?" Shelby asked as she leaned against Scott's shoulder. Ever since she came back she was warming up bit by bit to everyone.  
  
"I was about 4 or 5." He said smiling, reflecting on a happier time in his life. About as happy as he was with Shelby now.  
  
"Why did you give it up?" Shelby asked. She had been wondering that since she had found out that he had stopped and then started up again.  
  
A sudden coolness filed the room and Scott took his hands off of the piano. He got up. He didn't like to talk about when and why he stopped. He looked at Shelby. The look in her eyes told him he should tell her.  
  
"Well, um... Mom taught me how to play. She was the one that got me to love playing the piano and love music. I always played with her. She'd teach me how to lay new songs, and write music and stuff. Then the divorce happened. Dad got everything, including me. Mom was so upset and had to leave. As you know. And she left me with the skank."  
  
Shelby knew then that it had to have something to do with Elaine.   
  
"Well whenever mom came I had a song for her. To show her that I was still playing. But then she stopped coming for a while. I guess dad told her I needed to "adjust". So that put a damper on it. But if that wasn't bad enough the skank, wanted me to make a song for her. And this is when all the stuff was getting bad. Before the drugs. And writing had always been a special thing for me, between my mom and me. And I couldn't let HER take that away from me to. I mean she took everything else. So I stopped, that was about the same time everything went downhill."  
  
"But when you gave up, wasn't that like she took it away from you?" Sophie asked.  
  
Scott sighed. She didn't understand. He had to explain, and he knew the logic would sound screwed up. "No because I took it away from myself. I had control over it. If I stopped she couldn't take it from me. She did it once, with the sex, and I wasn't going to let her do it again." He said. But luckily for Scott he didn't need to say anything else because they were interrupted with a scream from Juliet.  
  
Auggie was the first to reach Juliet. She was now leaning up against the couch looking like she was about to faint.  
  
"What's wrong Jules?" he asked concerned.  
  
"A mouse." She squealed and then fainted.  
  
Peter came over. He saw that Juliet had fainted and called for 2 Trackers to bring her to the infirmary. The rest of the cliffhangers gathered near Peter.  
  
"She fainted over a dumb mouse?" Daisy said sarcastically.   
  
"It wasn't a dumb mouse to her." Jordan said defending Juliet.  
  
"Who are you now? Her personal protector." Shelby asked. She had felt hostility towards Jordan since he had come to Horizon.  
  
The cliffhangers looked at him for his reaction.  
  
"You know Shelby, Daisy, you don't have to be as bitter as you are. It isn't flattering." He yelled and then started to walk away.  
  
Scott and Ezra had to hold Shelby and Daisy from going after Jordan. They knew they could be bitter and sarcastic but hearing it from anyone but the two of them was just wrong in their minds. Peter didn't let Jordan get away with the whole argument thing easily.  
  
"Get back here Jordan." He commanded.  
  
Jordan heard the anger in Peter's voice. He tensed, this time it was visible to Peter and the Cliffhangers. He turned around slowly.  
  
"Yes sir?" Jordan said barely in a whisper, his eyes on the ground.  
  
"Jordan. I want you to apologize," Peter started but realized that Jordan wasn't looking at him. "Jordan.. Look at me please." He said.  
  
Jordan looked reluctantly up at Peter. His mind was going crazy with fear. His whole "Don't look in their eyes" theory and defense wasn't going to work. He looked around for an escape and couldn't find one. He looked back at Peter.  
  
Peter saw the fear in the teen's eyes. He wondered why it was there. He had seen that look before. Trying to backtrack where. Then he remembered. Scott when he first came to Horizon and had ran away. He had had that same look.  
  
"Apologize to Shelby and Daisy please. Daisy and Shelby apologize too." Peter said.  
  
"Sorry Daisy, Sorry Shelby." He said. He really was sorry, that and he was still scared.  
  
Shelby and Daisy felt a twinge of guilt. They knew that Jordan was sorry.  
  
"Sorry." They said at the same time.  
  
"Can I go please?" Jordan asked suddenly.  
  
"Sure Jordan, go ahead." Peter said, he needed to check on Juliet anyway.  
  
CLIFFHANGERS DORM  
  
"How could you do that?" Jordan yelled at himself. "You should have held your tongue. Why stick up for Juliet anyway?" he asked himself.  
  
He threw his pillow on the floor and then some other stuff. He was mad at himself and his little fit of emotion.  
  
"Because you like her that's why." He said answering himself. "Ever since you found out she was a cutter too."  
  
Jordan threw his blankets off his bed and then trashed Scott's bunk because Scott's was closer. Then he lay down on his bed. Practically exhausted.  
  
"Why am I talking and answering myself anyway." Jordan finally said. Now he was tired. He yawned. "Now your going crazy." He said to himself.  
  
Jordan turned over. He instantly fell asleep.  
  
************DREAM**********  
  
A young Jordan stood at the side of his father's grave. It was the day of the funeral and Jordan had been allowed to go. Hailey and Dillion were at their grandmothers. They were too young. Jordan was there alone with his mom and all the others at the funeral.  
  
As the casket got lowered further and further into the ground Jordan ran to his fathers casket.  
  
"Daddy no. Please don't leave me. Daddy I love you." 6 year old Jordan cried. He tried to get to his fathers casket because the men had stopped lowering it as Jordan came up.  
  
In his mind he knew his father was gone. But he needed to say goodbye.   
  
"Daddy." The boy said screaming and crying hysterically.  
  
His mom, Kendra came up to him and grabbed him by the arm. She took him behind the groundskeeper's shed where no one could see them.  
  
"What do you think your doing?" She said as she smacked Jordan hard on his butt.  
  
Jordan didn't answer all he could do was cry.  
  
"Answer me." His mom said smacking him across the face. "And stop crying."  
  
But Jordan just cried more. He couldn't help it he was only six. And he missed his dad, he had died so fast.  
  
Kendra kept getting madder and madder. She smacked Jordan hard again and he finally stopped crying. He didn't want to get hit by her again. Even as young as he was he knew not to provoke her anymore.  
  
"Now go to the car." She said janking his arm and practically throwing him into the car.  
  
Jordan sat there crying. His mom wasn't around anymore. But he was still scared.   
  
***********END DREAM***********  
  
MEANWHILE  
  
Auggie, Scott and Ezra walked into their room.  
  
"Can you believe the whole thing in the lodge?" Ezra asked." I thought Shelby and Daisy were going to kill him.  
  
"But did you see how he reacted Ez?" Scott asked.  
  
Both Auggie and Ezra knodded. They had seen how Jordan had flinched. They guessed that everyone had. As they walked into their dorm they saw all the stuff on the floor.  
  
"What the heck?!?!" Auggie said but stopped as soon as he saw Jordan.   
  
They looked at each other. Then looked where Jordan was asleep.  
  
"Do you think he..." Ezra asked but was cut off by Scott.  
  
"Of course he did it Ez, who else could have. Aliens?" he said.  
  
Scott sighed, as he looked at his bunk. It was as trashed as everything else was. He walked over there. As he got closer he could hear Jordan moaning in his sleep.  
  
"He's having another dream guys," Scott mouthed and pointed to Jordan.  
  
"Should we tell Peter?"  
  
Just as they were thinking Jordan jumped out of sleep. He was breathing hard and sweat was dripping on his forehead. As he looked at the guys he felt sick, and scared. Eventually he caught his breath. Scott, Auggie, and Ezra looked at him worridly.  
  
"So...Sorry guys." Jordan said getting up and picking up Scott's stuff before Scott could get to it.   
  
"What happened Jordan?" Scott asked.  
  
"Nothing." Jordan said flatly.  
  
"Nothing? Our room being trashed and you freaking out is not nothing J." Auggie said.  
  
"I said I was sorry Okay." Jordan said throwing a pillow on his bed. "Can't you just accept that? God."   
  
"Dude, what is up with the attitude?" Auggie said, Jordan's hostility was rubbing off on him. And with his worry over Juliet's fainting attack his nerves were already short.  
  
Jordan looked at him and took a deep breath. "Just leave me alone okay. I can handle myself. I don't need you 3, or Sophie, or Peter on my back all the freaking time." He said and threw down his pillow. The rest of the room he had cleaned up.  
  
He went to the door, walked out and slammed it.  
  
Scott, Ezra, and Auggie looked at each other. As much as they were worried for Jordan they were also annoyed.  
  
"Will you just slap me if I ever act like that again." Scott said remembering his past attitude. He just hoped he never acted that bad.   
  
'Don't worry homes, I will." Auggie said laughing and playfully punching Scott. Scott punched him back.  
  
MEANWHILE IN THE LODGE...  
  
Shelby sat on the sofa in front of the fire. From the pocket of her jeans she pulled out a letter. She unfolded the still unopened envelope. She had gotten it in the mail yesterday but after seeing who it was from she knew she had to be alone when she read it.  
  
Shelby traced the letters of her name in the handwriting of the address. The script brought her back to a time she would have liked to relive, well almost. She carefully tared open the envelope and pulled out the letter. She laughed when she realized how delicately she was taking care of the letter.   
  
She tried to brush off her actions with the excuse that since she rarely got letters the ones that she got were important. But she knew that wasn't true. It was because it was one of Aubrey's letters....  
  
Aubrey was one of her friends from her old neighbor hood. Before she ran away and before coming to Horizon. He was her best friend actually. His mom and her mom had been friends since high school and hadn't lost touch. They had temporarily separated in distance when Shelby's mother had moved to marry Shelby's real father, then when she went to marry _____ their parents and the two of them got back together.  
  
Aubrey had always been there for her. When her step dad started doing things to her it was Aubrey she would run to. He had made her feel safe when no one else could. Aubrey was the first guy she could really talk to. When she ran she knew it had hurt him and he couldn't talk to her for weeks after that. When she went to Horizon he missed her, she knew, but then the first letter came. She couldn't reply to it. It hurt to bad. After the second and third came and she didn't reply, she still couldn't. The letters stopped. But then the letters started coming again. She had finally replied and he sent them to her.   
  
She carefully unfolded the letter. And started reading it silently.  
  
"Dear Shelby, Hey Beautiful. I just wanted to write to you to tell you how much I miss you. I hope this letter sees you well and that you're okay. Usually I wouldn't write this close to the last letter, you know our 3-week rule :). But I guess I just wanted to talk to you, well to get as close to doing so as I can. You know what this week is don't you? Friday, was our first kiss. We were six remember. First girl I ever kissed. I don't know what made me remember that but mom has a picture of it and all. So how's that Scott guy treating you? Better that I can I hope. Just for the sake of it. I mean he is your boyfriend now right? Guess who I'm going out with know? Jamie Johnson. She called me a couple of days ago. We're going to the school dance together. I hope you're insanely jealous. Hehehehe. Who knows, maybe I'll fall for her like you've fallen for Scott. I know your onto him bad Shelby as much as you tried to deny it when you were home again."  
  
Shelby stopped reading for a minute as she heard footsteps.  
  
"Hey Shel, what's that?" Daisy asked pointing at the letter.  
  
"What?" Shelby said hiding the letter as fast as Daisy saw it.  
  
"The letter. Who's it from?"  
  
"What letter?" Shelby asked trying to be casual. She didn't want to share Aubrey's letter with anyone.  
  
"The letter that you just hid from me. Duh Shelby. I'm not stupid." Daisy said annoyed.  
  
"It's a letter from one of my friends back home okay." Shelby said glaring at Daisy. "Now I would just like to be alone in privacy so I can finish reading it please."  
  
"Sure." Daisy said as she saw Ezra coming up, she wanted to talk to him about their newest project.  
  
'Peace." Thought Shelby as she went back to her letter.  
  
"You sounded sad in your last letter, and then you didn't reply to my most recent one. Last time I checked you were mad at the new kid. Said you didn't want to trust him. Do you feel better about him now? I wish I could see you Shelby. You are such a big part of my life. Mom says she misses seeing your face in the morning, well when you weren't sad and stuff. At least when you're at Horizon I know your safe. Back when you were on the streets and stuff I didn't know, even when you were at home and in that house of yours I didn't know, accept when I was with you. Well enough for blabbing and lecturing I just wanted to write to make sure nothing had happened to you. Well Buh bye, I love you Shelby.. Love, Aubrey."  
  
Shelby folded up the letter and put it in her pocket. A smile was across her face. "Love you to Aubrey." She whispered to the air, knowing he could feel it.  
  
LATER THAT DAY...  
  
Juliet had just gotten out of the infermary. Peter and Sophie and Mary Anne had made quite sure that she was okay before they let her go back to her dorm. As she made her way there she saw Jordan sitting on a picnic table holding his arms. He wasn't wearing a coat. Peter had told her how Jordan had stuck up for her and she wanted to say thanks.  
  
Jordan sat on the picnic table looking at the water. It was cold out but he didn't care. He didn't want to go back and face the guys just yet. He hadn't ment to act like he did. But he had and he knew that he had to do something. Just not yet, that was all. He was deep in thought when he heard footsteps coming.  
  
"Can I join you?" Juliet asked Jordan, still behind him.  
  
Jordan turned around and seeing Juliet he moved over to let her sit. Juliet took a seat.  
  
"Thanks for sticking up for me to Shelby and Daisy." Juliet said warmly.  
  
"Yeah well, No one needs to make fun of other people for things like that." Jordan said, his voice slightly cold and detached.  
  
"Anything wrong?" Juliet asked him innocently.  
  
'What isn't?' he thought to himself, but voiced another answer. "Nothing."  
  
"You sure?" she asked sensing it. She had covered up enough problems of her own to know when someone was hiding something.  
  
"Can I ask you a question." Jordan said looking at her.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"How is it that no one here accepts the answer that you don't have a problem?" he asked almost bitterly, but not too much so because it was Juliet.  
  
"Because they know we all have problems or else we wouldn't be here." She said and then got up.  
  
That left Jordan alone. After looking at the water for a few more minutes he got up and headed to the lodge. It was almost time for group. He might as well be early instead of late. And he had to face everyone sometime or another.  
  
To be continued......  
  
Is the suspense growing enough yet?!?! :). Sorry I said there was a group session this chapter but it became to long. So that is in next chapter. What else? Any guesses? Maybe you'll be right. Not telling ya!!!  



	6. memories-Part 7

Memories- Part7  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own any of the original higher ground characters. If I did I would be entirely happy. But I do own Jordan Thomas, his mom and step-dad Kendra and Jackson. His sister Hailey Jade and bother Dillion and his social Workers Max Anderson and Helen Brandon. I also own Jill Trinity, the mail lady.  
  
In this chapter- Group. Jordan's hostility grows and Peter and Sophie get worried. Jordan gets mad at himself and cuts, but no one finds out. He does something bad. :(  
  
On another note- There were two blanks in the last part. They were supposed to be Walt. I couldn't think of Shelby's step-dad's name so I left it blank and forgot about it until I loaded it. Sorry  
  
OH YEAH... I want at least 7 reviews until I write the next chapter or unless I don't get 7 and people beg really really hard!!!  
  
  
  
THE LODGE- Group  
  
The cliffhangers were gathering for group. Everyone sat together, away from Jordan. He had ticked everyone off with his attitude. Everyone was shocked at the way he had been behaving today. Usually he was so quiet. But not since he had had his meeting with Peter and Sophie.  
  
Sophie looked over the cliffhangers. Peter couldn't come to group today because he was on a quest with the Trackers. He had just left. Sophie, feeling the tension wished that he were there. It was true, she was qualified and had held a lot of group sessions together, but she got nervous, the Unbreakable Sophie Becker, when there was so much tension in the Cliffhangers.  
  
"Okay guys. Why don't we all blend together. No splitting up." Sophie said and waited.  
  
Everyone looked at her like she was crazy. They didn't move. No one did. Sophie looked at them annoyed. But she didn't give in. She just sat there and waited.  
  
The cliffhangers looked at Sophie and then at each other. For about 10 minutes no one talked at all. Then Auggie spoke up.  
  
"Aren't we supposed to be talking. This is group." He asked.  
  
"It's not group unless everyone cooperates with everyone, and as far as I see you guys aren't a full group. Now I suggest that everyone be nice and make up with each other when I come back. I'm going to my office for 15 minutes. None of you are to leave. As far as I'm concerned we can hold group here all night. No one is leaving this lodge accept for me until I see some cooperation on your part and a change in attitude among a certain few." She said practically glaring at Shelby, Daisy and Jordan.  
  
Sophie got up and walked away. The cliffhangers were left alone with each other. At first no one moved, the lodge was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Everyone looked at each other. No one talked or moved.   
  
"What's wrong with her?" Kat asked. "I've never seen Sophie so mad before."   
  
"I know." Juliet answered. "Not since Chloe came with those cameras and had actors play us."  
  
"Or when you snuck out with Hank and made out in Peters house." Shelby said bitterly.  
  
"Don't try to attack me Shelby. It's not going to work. I didn't do anything. I haven't been here all day. I've been at the nursing home and the library. This stuff lies on you guys' hands not mine." Kat said as she stood up and started pacing the floor.   
  
"Yeah well you sure missed a lot on your little excursion." Ezra said sarcastically.  
  
Kat sighed. She sat back down. It was no use she wasn't there when all the stuff had happened so she knew that she couldn't do anything.  
  
"Times almost up." Jordan finally spoke, his voice sounding jumpy.  
  
"Hey J, settle down. It ain't like Sophie really knows we'll be all buddy buddy and all when she comes back." Auggie said laughing.  
  
"Yeah, she's not serious when she says things like that." Daisy said. "She's actually very civilized at times."  
  
Kat smiled to herself as Daisy talked. Everyone was becoming normal again.  
  
"Like you're mothers... um.." Shelby said and paused. "Your mothers funeral."  
  
"Yeah like in the hotel." Daisy said.  
  
"Well if she wasn't serious then why did she say it?" Jordan questioned.  
  
"Dude why are you so uptight all of a sudden?" Scott asked.  
  
"Yeah, we all saw the way you acted when Peter called your name today." Ezra said.  
  
"What?" Jordan asked.   
  
He knew what, he had tensed up. He just didn't think it was that noticeable. He'd have to retune his technique later. But now he had to cover his tracks.  
  
"Don't pull the innocent act, Jordan, it's not becoming." Daisy said as bitterly as he had about their attitudes earlier that day.  
  
"Hmm." Jordan said. "Where have I heard those words before." He glared at Daisy. "What, can't think of anything of your own to say?" he said. He had the attitude thing downpat.  
  
"What the heck is up with you Jordan. You've been nice, we liked you. Then today your just a... a ice cold no feeling jerk." Juliet said to him.  
  
"Like Shelby." Ezra said laughing.  
  
Shelby laughed and threw a pillow at Ezra.  
  
"That is it. Aren't I entitled to act like everyone else once in a while? Like a screwed up freak just like every one of you." He said almost shouting.  
  
Juliet started crying. She didn't like yelling and she didn't like being called a freak.  
  
"Look what you did J. You just made Juliet cry." Auggie said getting up.  
  
Jordan couldn't handle it. He really didn't mean to be acting like a jerk. He hadn't meant the comment at all. He just wanted to be left alone. He wanted to think about what to do with the file that Sophie and Peter somehow got their hands on.   
  
Jordan took a deep breath. 'I'm sorry." He said ashamed. "I know your all not screwed up freaks. I didn't mean to call you that." He said pausing. "Any of you. Shelby and Daisy, I didn't mean what I said this afternoon or tonight. I'm sorry, you guy's don't deserve my attitude." He said not looking at them. "Juliet sorry for making you cry, I didn't mean to. Scott, Ez, Auggie, sorry for trashing the bunk. All you guys I'm sorry." He said. " I don't know why I'm acting like I am but can you just accept it. And please, please don't tell Peter or Sophie." He almost begged at the end.  
  
Jordan got up as he saw Sophie coming back. He needed to get out of there, he didn't want to be there if someone blabbed about what he had said to everyone.  
  
"Um, Sophie." He said to her as soon as she came up to him. "I don't feel to well, can I go back to the dorm and lay down?" he asked.  
  
She felt Jordan's head. He did feel a bit hot. "Sure Jordan, you can leave."  
  
Jordan walked away slowly out of the lodge.  
  
As soon as he got out of there he ran to the dorm.   
  
IN THE DORM-  
  
Jordan sat on his bed, he pulled his legs closer to him, he was practically gasping for breath. He tried to count back slowly to 10 but it didn't work.  
  
Jordan was used to attacks like this. When he was under to much pressure. It was a time he really, really wanted to cut. It happened when he couldn't control himself or what was happening around him. And right now that seemed to be the case.  
  
"If only they hadn't tried to dig their noses where they didn't belong we wouldn't have this problem." He said to himself referring to Peter and Sophie and his newest file.  
  
He got up slowly. He knew he had been a pain the last day and a half. The fact that he had never acted like he was really scared him. He made his way to the bathroom. As he got there he went to the sink and splashed water on his face, hoping to calm his nerves. That's when he saw Scott's razor.  
  
Jordan picked it up. He wanted to see if the blade would come out. After a few tried pulling it out and putting it back in he took it.  
  
"You're a bad boy Jordan," he said, repeating what Kendra would say in this situation. "And bad boys need to be punished."  
  
He looked at the blade one more time, contemplating if he should cut or not. Finally he gave in. He cut the first time. Just below the skin. A thin line of blood appeared on Jordan's arm. He felt almost relieved with the first cut. He cut again and again. Just deep enough to feel pain and draw blood. But he wasn't stupid. He didn't cut enough for people to be able to see it later. No scars, no signs. That way Peter and Sophie would never know and he wouldn't get another lecture from them.  
  
MEANWHILE BACK AT THE LODGE- (group)  
  
The rest of the cliffhangers sat in a circle. Sophie was leading them in group. They had just done their tribal scream. Now they were about ready to talk.  
  
"Does any one have anything they would like to say?" Sophie asked the cliffhangers.  
  
Everyone was looking at each other. There was some thing on every one's minds. But no one wanted to say anything. It was a code of Honor for the cliffhangers. Unless some one says or does something that puts them in danger then you don't tell. And Jordan hadn't done anything YET. And they didn't like the others talking about them, so they didn't want to say anything about Jordan.  
  
Sophie saw the look on the teen's faces. Something was up. She just didn't know what. Usually Sophie wasn't clueless, far from it actually. But she was today.   
  
Someone knew they had to have the courage to speak up. The looked at each other. Then Kat spoke up.  
  
"Sophie, can we talk amongst ourselves for a minute?" she asked.  
  
"Sure go ahead." Sophie said hearing the seriousness of Kat's voice.  
  
The cliffhangers huddled together on the couch. Sophie edged away as not to intrude on them.  
  
"Okay, who wants to say it." She asked straight out.  
  
"Say what?" Auggie asked.  
  
"Who wants to say we want to talk about Jordan?" Kat asked. "Duh."  
  
The others looked at each other.   
  
"I don't think we should say anything." Scott finally said, "I mean that's like against the little code of honor we have. No telling on others."  
  
"But the rules say we have to tell if we think someone's about to hurt themselves or any one else." Juliet said.  
  
"Well he hasn't done anything yet. I mean nothing major." Daisy said trying to convince Kat.  
  
The guys looked at each other. "Well..." Ezra said cautiously.  
  
"What?" Shelby said annoyed by the waste of time this little "meeting" was.  
  
"Well, he did trash the dorm today." Ezra said when the guys nodded.  
  
"Plus it's not like we know anything. I mean we should just voice our opinion on the matter." He added quickly on the end.  
  
Everyone looked like they agreed. They turned back to Sophie. She looked at their faces and saw they wanted to talk about something.  
  
"Anything wrong guys?" She asked. "Anything you want to talk about?"  
  
"Jordan." They said flatly almost all at the same time.  
  
Sophie looked at them. She knew she was worried but the fact that they were worried made her a little more worried.  
  
"Okay, what about Jordan?" she asked trying to keep her composure.  
  
"It's been actin' wacko Sophie." Scott said.  
  
"Yeah." Juliet said. "He wouldn't even talk to me. He called us all freaks."  
  
"And made Jules cry." Auggie said. "He's got some major attitude today!"  
  
"He called you guys freaks?" Sophie asked.  
  
The Group nodded their head. It wasn't really a big deal. They had been called freaks before, but the way Jordan had said it was mean. They would probably have brushed it over if Juliet hadn't cried.  
  
"Yeah." Shelby said. "That's what we said. We wouldn't lie about that."  
  
"But, then he apologized." Juliet said kind of defensively. "Like a gazillion times."  
  
"Yeah he's been apologizing a lot lately." Daisy said. "If he does it one more time I feel like I should smack him to make him SHUT UP!"  
  
The group laughed. Daisy was like that. Then Sophie looked at them.  
  
"Now we don't want that." She said laughing too. "But I think maybe Jordan is under a lot of stress for one reason or another. The one-month mark just passed this week and I think he's stressing over it. So for the time being we need to deal with it okay? I'll talk to Peter when he gets home tomorrow. But that's what we'll do today okay?" she asked them.  
  
"Okay." The cliffhangers said in joint agreement. They were glad they had said something, at least until Jordan found out they had.  
  
"Well." Sophie said looking at her watch. "It's getting late. I think you guys should go back to your dorms now. Okay?"  
  
The cliffhangers got up. There was a chorus of good-byes before everyone left.  
  
  
BACK AT THE DORM-before the end of group.  
  
Jordan was standing against the sink. The water was running. His arm was bleeding. He felt the slight numbing feeling he got when he got used to the pain. He looked at the clock on the wall. 7:30.  
  
"Group should be over with soon." He thought to himself. "Better clean up.  
  
Jordan took Scott's razor blade and cleaned it off with soap and hot water. Hopefully Scott wouldn't know he used it. Then he put it back on the holder. He took a paper towel and wiped off his arm with it. He would have used a regular towel but was afraid some one would see the blood on it.  
  
Jordan looked at his arm. Both of them were a bit red but they hadn't bled that much. He pulled down his sleeves and threw away the paper towels just as the door closed.  
  
There was a knock at the bathroom door   
  
"Hey Jordan, you in here?" one of the guys, Jordan didn't know which one, asked.  
  
"Yeah. I'll...I'll be right out." He said giving the room a last once over to make sure he had cleaned up the mess he had made.  
  
"J, are you okay?" Auggie asked. "You sound like your sick.  
  
"I'm fine. I'll be right there." Jordan said as he stepped out of the bathroom.  
  
Ezra, Scott, and Auggie looked at Jordan. He looked sick to them.  
  
"You should lay down Jordan." Scott said. "You don't look to good."  
  
"Yeah your really pale." Ezra said.  
  
"I think I'm going to go lay down okay guys?" Jordan said to them as he made his way to his bed. He felt fine but he had a long night a head of him.  
  
"Sure. We'll be quiet." Scott said as Jordan went into bed and the others settled down to read and write letters.  
  
  
LATER THAT NIGHT  
  
Jordan got up. Sweat was pouring from his forehead. It was another bad dream. Fortunately he hadn't woken up the Guy's this time. Because no one was staring at him. The clock on his nightstand said 3:30. He got up and pulled his jeans over his boxers, and then put on his shoes. Getting up and walking to the door he grabbed his coat and walked outside, the cold air stinging him a bit  
  
He knew he wasn't supposed to be out of his cabin after dark, it was against Horizon rules. But none of it seamed to matter. Jordan was in a daze. He had been since Peter and Sophie had talked to him in their office a couple of days ago. He needed to know what they knew about him. That way he could protect himself from them and from everyone else. His parent's had taken hold of the files that everyone, like the cops and social workers and teachers, were supposed to have giving Horizon right before they left. At least any paper that had said any thing to imply they were bad parents. Jordan had thought no one would see them again. He had grown to hate and fear the system that was meant to help kids like him. First they split him and his brother and sister up. They went to one foster home and were adopted when he was left in another and eventually returned home. And his mom and Jackson had him so scared, threatening him since he was little about what would happen if he ever told, that he couldn't tell the people that should have been able to help him.  
  
Jordan crept quietly to the Administrations building. He hoped the door was open. As he got there and jiggled the lock he realized it wasn't. He tried to find another way, an open door or something, he didn't feel like breaking-and-entering again, even though he knew how to, he had done it many times before. Finally he found a window that was open a bit. Pushing it up and edging the screen out he went in.  
  
Luckily for him Peter and Sophie's office was open. He went in and started to look for the file.  
  
"Where the heck is it?" he said to the air.  
  
That's when he saw his file on Peter's desk. He opened it and took a flashlight. He couldn't risk getting caught with it. He opened the file. And flipped through the pages.  
  
"Oh great. It's only the freaking police reports." He said.   
  
He flipped through the ones he knew Peter and Sophie had been looking at, the were out of order, and of the various charges and things that had been brought up against him. Running away and stealing, those sorts of things. Then he got to the ones he was looking for. The ones that hadn't been in the file before.  
  
"Jackson, Jackson, Jackson." Jordan sighed. He had always wondered how his step-dad had gotten a hold of these reports. The ones that he knew would harm him and Kendra. Sure Jackson had friends in high places, that's what was keeping the Social Services reports from coming, but the fact that Jackson could have taken all of these papers fascinated him, and scared him.  
  
Jordan looked at the police reports in his hands. There were 5 or six of them, all around 3 pages long. The longest though was 6. It was dated June 23, 1999. Jordan had been 13 at the time, it was 2 years ago. It was the day he had made the final call that had gotten Dillion and Kali away. He grabbed the papers and stuck them in his coat. Then he put the file back on Peters desk.  
  
"Now what?" he asked himself. "There's still more." He said depressed, there was the whole deal with Social Services, and his old school, and the whole mess if Peter and Sophie found out. But they couldn't.  
  
Jordan got up. He held the papers under his coat. He'd have to hide them and read them later. But for now he needed to get back to sleep. It would be a long day tommarrow.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED!!!  
  
Hey how about suspense? I know Jordan was bad this chapter. How sad :(! Anyway he will be back to normal soon. Who do you like better? The bitter mean sarcastic Jordan introduced today. Or the nice normal quiet Jordan that you've seen before? Tell me when you review.   



	7. Memories-Part 8

Memories-Part 8  
  
Disclaimer-- I don't own any of the original higher ground characters, including Frank. If I did I would be entirely happy. But I do own Jordan Thomas, his mom and step-dad Kendra and Jackson. His sister Hailey Jade and bother Dillion and his social Workers Max Anderson and Helen Brandon. I also own Jill Trinity, the mail lady.  
  
In this chapter- Turmoil at Horizon after Peter and Sophie find out the admissions building has been broken into. Suspicions arise.   
  
  
Jordan stepped back into the dorm room. The papers hidden under his coat. The time was now 4:15. He had been gone for 45 minutes. As he got into the dorm and put his shoes and coat away he heard Scott moan. He tensed up. After realizing that Scott was asleep he moved to his bunk. When he got there he lifted up his mattress and slipped the papers under it.  
  
"I'll read them later." He said to himself yawning. "I need to get to sleep."  
  
Jordan got into bed and pulled up the covers over himself. He fell instantly to sleep.  
  
  
LATER THAT MORNING- BOYS DORM  
  
Scott and Auggie woke up to the sun in their faces. Ezra was already up, they could hear him singing in the shower. Scott sat up yawning.  
  
'What time is it Aug?" Scott asked, the clock was nearest to Auggie.  
  
"It's almost 9:30." Auggie said as he got up and put on a pair of pants.  
  
"Thank God for Saturdays!" Scott said. Saturdays at Horizon meant sleeping in later than usual, and all the guys enjoyed that.  
  
"Yeah." Auggie said in agreement.  
  
They both yawned and stretched again. That's when Scott noticed that Jordan was still asleep.  
  
"Hey, look who's the bum today." He said pointing to Jordan.  
  
"He must be sick." Auggie said. "J never sleeps in."  
  
The guys looked at each other in bewilderment. It truly was unlike Jordan to sleep in. Usually he was the first one up. He would have already eaten breakfast and stuff by now. As they were looking at Jordan Ezra came out of the bathroom.  
  
"What's up guys. Why are you all looking at Jordan?" he asked.  
  
"Look Ez, he's still asleep and it's almost 10." Scott said. "Don't you see anything weird with that?"  
  
"True." Ezra said after thinking for a few moments. "It is strange."  
  
Scott and Auggie went to the bathroom to freshen up as Jordan woke up. It was exactly 10 at the time. He looked at the clock. When Jordan saw what time it was he jumped out of bed.  
  
'Dude, you guys should have woken me up." He said to them hastily.  
  
"Sorry, you were sick, we thought you should sleep." Ezra said.  
  
Jordan moaned and made his way to the bathroom without even putting on pants. He was still half-asleep. The guys looked at him go and threw pillows at him when he closed the door. They were getting annoyed with the whole situation.  
  
MEANWHILE IN THE GIRLS DORM-  
  
All the girls were up. Kat was making her bed, Daisy and Juliet were both brushing their hair after getting out of the shower, and Shelby was reading a book. They were all exhausted after spending half the night talking about Jordan's attitude, and also the fact that report cards were coming up.  
  
"This is your last report isn't it Kat?" Shelby asked looking up from her book. "The last one that the collages will look at anyway right?"  
  
"Yeah. I just hope I did good." Kat said, still worrying about what collages would think after they saw her record. A school like Horizon didn't always look good on one.  
  
"A's and B's like usual right Kat? You'll still be the smartest cliffhanger you know." Juliet said. Kat always had the highest grades of all the cliffhangers. Everyone blamed it on the fact she had been there the longest and knew what the teachers wanted. But everyone knew that wasn't true. Kat was just on track with it all.  
  
"Yeah right Juliet." Kat said absent-mindedly.   
  
Daisy saw the look and changed the topic. "When's Peter coming back?"  
  
"Um..." Shelby said thinking. "I think Sophie said noon. Why?"  
  
"I need to know when our next quest is. Remember my boots got trashed last time and I need a new pair."  
  
"You could barrow mine." Juliet offered. "Then I wouldn't have to go."  
  
Juliet hated hiking. Ever since she got lost in that cave the one time, she hated to go and would use any excuse not to.  
  
"No that's okay." Daisy said. "I don't mind using Daddy Dearest's money." She said bitterly.  
  
Shelby laughed and Daisy shot her a wicked look from her side of the room.  
  
"I'm hungry" Kat finally said.  
  
"Me too." Daisy and Shelby said at the same time.  
  
The girls got up and looked at Juliet for a reply. When Juliet made no attempt to move, Kat and Daisy went over and got her,  
  
"You're coming to." Kat said.  
  
"But I'm not hungry." Juliet said almost whining.  
  
"Come on Juliet. Calories remember." Daisy said, not that she really cared at the moment, she just didn't want to hear a lecture given my Peter or Sophie to anyone right now. No matter who it was.  
  
DINING HALL  
  
Sophie waited anxiously for Peter to come back. She had been freaked out ever since she had stepped into the door of her and Peter's office. The place had been thoroughly trashed and she didn't dare go in. No one else was there at the time and she didn't want anyone else to know except for Peter.  
  
She saw Juliet, Kat, Shelby, and Daisy coming into eat. She looked back and saw the guys were right behind them, minus Jordan that is.  
  
"Hello guys." She said somberly.  
  
"What's wrong Sophie?" Kat asked.  
  
"Nothing." Sophie said facing the cliffhangers. "Where's Jordan?" she said looking at Scott.  
  
"He um... He didn't feel good still and didn't want to come and eat." Scott said. "He looked pretty tired. I think he went back to sleep."  
  
"I'll check on him in a bit." Sophie said a bit out of it.  
  
'Are you sure you're okay?" Daisy said.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." Sophie said not believable. "Why don't you go and eat."  
  
The cliffhangers just nodded. They knew something was up but they were hungry. And seeing that it was Horizon, nothing stayed secret for long. They'd find out soon enough.  
  
They all got their food and sat at their table. No one talked for a few minutes. It was an awkward but necessary silence. One that they all needed to get their thoughts settled right. Auggie was the first one to actually talk.  
  
"What do you thinks up with Sophie?" he asked concerned.   
  
"I don't know, she looks kind of freaked though. Something serious." Kat said.  
  
The group looked at each other. "Another suicide?" Juliet said almost whispering.  
  
The group hated hearing that word. Ever since Isaac committed suicide and Frank had made such a big deal about it cause it was one of their own. Sure other students had done it in the other groups, but never a cliffhanger. It had scared them all.  
  
They looked out the window where Sophie was. She was talking to Frank. Rubbing her hands through her hair nervously. The Cliffhangers were freaking out.  
  
"What do you think they're talking about?" Juliet said kind of scared.   
  
"I don't know." Scott said. "But do we really want to know?"  
  
"We'll find out soon enough." Kat said taking a sip of milk her eyes still fixed on the window.  
  
OUTSIDE  
  
Sophie stopped Frank as he was walking over to the Supply shed to see if the school needed anything new.  
  
"Frank, can I talk to you." Sophie said, with urgency in here eyes and her voice.  
  
Frank jogged up to Sophie slowly. He wasn't as young as he used to be. That's why he let Peter take over. But he knew what he needed to help these kids. He was the founder.  
  
"Sure Sophie. What's on your mind?" he asked as he got up to her.  
  
"I need to talk to you privately." She said in a hushed voice.  
  
"Of Course." He said guiding her to a spot near the edge of the building.   
  
"Frank..." she said almost solemnly. "Someone.... Someone." She stuttered, she was so shaken up.  
  
"Some one what Sophie?" he asked putting his arm around her, bracing himself for whatever the news may be.   
  
"Someone broke into Peter and mine's office last night." She said to him, brushing her hand through her fingers.   
  
"Are you sure." Frank said, almost too loud.   
  
"Yeah," Sophie said, trying to keep her composure. "I'm sure. I went into the office to do the reports this morning, to start them, and I got there and the place was trashed."  
  
"Was anything stolen, do you know who could have done it?" Frank asked.  
  
"I don't know who did it, I have no idea who would. And I wasn't there long enough and look hard enough to see if anything was missing. I mean nothing big. Peter's Paperweight, the rock, was missing. I found that near the statue. But other than that nothing was noticeable. Files and stuff were all over. I just couldn't tell." She said.  
  
Frank looked at Sophie for a moment, contemplating what to do. He ran his hand over his beard. Things like this weren't highly usual at the Horizon Campus.  
  
"Is Peter back yet?" Frank said. He had a plan, or thought he did anyway.  
  
"No, he and the Trackers are still on quests." Sophie said.  
  
"That rules them out at least." Frank said trying to lighten the mood, but it couldn't be done. "Any way. When Peter gets back tell him what happened. Then we'll call an emergency meeting of everyone. Faculty and Staff and tell them what happened."  
He said urgently in a direct voice. "We'll decide everything from then on."  
  
"Okay." Sophie said to Frank and turned to walk away. That's when she saw Peter coming with the Trackers, who looked tired and ready to rest.  
  
Seeing Sophie and Frank together Peter got nervous. He called to Drew, the head of the Trackers to take the group to the supply shed to unload their packs. Then he came up to Sophie and Frank on the stairs.  
  
"What's Wrong Soph, what happened?" He said as he got up there.   
  
Sophie and Frank looked at him and Sophie opened her mouth to tell him.   
  
LATER ON...  
  
Peter and Frank had called the emergency meeting for after dinner that night, in the lodge. Everyone except the Trackers were to attend it. The mood was somber in the lodge. None of the students now could remember being called together for an emergency, other than the night of the big storm. But this was totally different.  
  
The cliffhangers all sat together, Kat, Juliet, Auggie, Scott, Shelby, Ezra, Daisy, and Jordan. Jordan was feeling a bit better now. They looked up as Peter started to talk.  
  
"You are probably wondering why we called you all hear tonight." He said addressing everyone.  
  
There was a murmur from the crowd, everyone wanted to know. Sophie hushed everyone down so Peter could start talking again.  
  
"Some one broke into my Office last night. We don't know who and we aren't placing any blame yet. We aren't exactly sure of what was taken, if anything but this is still a very serious offence." Peter said pausing for emphasis.   
  
The students all looked at each other wondering who it could be that had done it.  
  
"The place was a mess when Sophie got there this morning. To say the least it gave the entire faculty a scare. We pride ourselves on our record. This has never happened before. And we hope it never happens again." He said and paused, to look at Frank, who went up to address the students.  
  
"Due to the severity of this issue, the campus and the whole student body, minus the trackers who are deemed innocent due to the fact that they were on a quest, is on lock down. That means no one is to go near Peter or Sophie's office unless they have an appointment. This will go on for a week. No one will be allowed off campus either. All quests for the time being, until the middle of this month have been postponed. We do not want to involve any outside authorities at this time but if push comes to shove, we'll have to. I would suggest that who ever is to blame come out and say so." He said pausing. 'Not now but in private, to Peter, Sophie, or I. You may all go."  
  
The students hurried out to get back to their dorms and gossip probably. They didn't want to be in the lodge anymore with each other. Only the cliffhangers remained. They were supposed to be having group next. They stood there looking at Peter and Sophie, waiting.  
  
Finally after a few moments of talking in private they came up to the cliffhangers.  
Peter looked at them.  
  
"I heard you had a couple of problems while I was gone." Peter said to them all.  
  
The group looked down embarrassed. There was a chorus of mumbled 'I'm Sorry's.   
  
"So we're going to talk about that right now." Peter continued. "I don't want you guys to start falling apart on me now. Shelby, Daisy, I need you guys to get along with everyone. Juliet, I heard you're not following your calories, do it please. Jordan what ever has been bugging you lately, Talk about it if you need to. Auggie and Scott, you guys have been good, you to Ezra. And Kat, fill out those college apps. Okay everyone?" he said in a hurry, getting all the problems on the table. "Now you can all go to your dorms, it's been a long evening.'  
  
They all nodded their heads and started to get up. Jordan was the last one to get up and as he got to the door Peter and Sophie called to him.  
  
"We'll catch up with you later J." Auggie said giving a sympathetic nod."  
  
"Sure, whatever." Jordan said as he trudged back to the couch.  
  
"Jordan sit down." Sophie said as she went to sit on the coffee table.  
  
Jordan sat obediently. He could sense something was up. "Oh God, they know. I'm dead." He thought to himself. "They'll kill me." He swallowed hard.  
  
Peter stood next to Sophie, his hands on her shoulders. "Do you know anything about what happened last night Jordan?" Peter asked nonchalantly.   
  
Jordan's face turned white and his eyes dropped to the ground. "Lie... Lie..." he told himself in the back of his mind. But he couldn't decide if he should listen to it or not. Lying could get you in more trouble than before.  
  
"Wha... What do you mean?" Jordan asked innocently enough.   
  
"Do you know what happened to Sophie and mine's office last night?" Peter asked. "We aren't accusing you of anything, don't get us wrong, we just think you might know something." Peter said.  
  
"I don't know." He said flatly, with not a trace of believability. He couldn't tell them and risk getting in big trouble.  
  
"Are you sure?" Sophie said edging on.  
  
"YES!" he yelled, maybe a bit to defensively. Then he slouched in the couch.  
  
"Okay, calm down Jordan." Peter said comfortingly.  
  
Jordan put his head in his hands. "Fine, I did it okay?" he said, "I broke in there. Last night when everyone was asleep."  
  
"Why?" Peter asked stunned, well almost.  
  
"I..." he said he needed an excuse cause he knew he couldn't tell them the right one,. "I wanted the letter from my mother and Jackson." He said bitterly, it was as good a lie as any, and believable too. "I felt sick when I woke up and I wanted to find you Sophie to ask if I could have the letter."  
  
He looked at Peter and Sophie to see if they believed him. They looked like they were buying it. So he continued.  
  
"But It was late and I couldn't find you. And I was thinking what if the letter said something important about the family. Than I should read it right?" he said pausing. "So I went to the office hoping the door would be open, and all that. But it wasn't so I opened a window and crept in hoping no one would find out."  
  
"What about the mess?" Sophie asked.  
  
"Well I couldn't find the letter and had to search for it. But everything was all over. So I had to move a bunch of stuff." He said "And about the paper weight, sorry about that. I thought it was just a rock, and that it was supposed to be outside. I'm sorry I was sick at the time, and tired." He breathed deeply and loudly.  
  
Sophie and Peter looked at each other and than at Jordan.  
  
"Thanks for telling us Jordan, you can go now." Peter said.  
  
"What's my punishment?" he asked suddenly and sharply.   
  
Sophie and Peter looked at him again, not exactly the reaction they thought that they were going to get from him.  
  
"Um, you'll have shuns for a day, but that's about it. That and kitchen detail with some of the sunchasers cause it's their week." Peter said thinking off the top of his head.  
  
"Okay." Jordan said and left.  
  
When Jordan had been gone for a few minutes Peter and Sophie looked at each other and plopped on the couch.  
  
"I don't think I fully believe him Soph." Peter said.  
  
They both sighed. 'Me either." Sophie said and laid her head on Peter's shoulder.  



	8. Memories- Part 9

Memories- Part 9  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the original members of Higher Ground. They belong to some people somewhere that don't care how many of us are desperate to see it again :( I do own Jordan Thomas, his sister and bro, his mom and step dad, his social worker and his siblings social worker. I also own Dr. Roberts, Anne Marie (the nurse at Horizon), and Deputies Johnson and Livingston, and Officers Kennith and Lier  
  
In this chapter- Report Cards!!! Who's the smartest cliffhanger? Jordan reads a bit of his file and reflects on the memories it brings up. Solo hiking preparation starts  
  
NOTE- There is a bit of a violent flashback here. Sorry bout that.  
  
  
Jordan walked into the dorm. The guys all had their eyes on him.   
  
"What did they want to ask you about?" Ezra asked.  
  
"Last night, they wanted to talk to me about it." Jordan said nonchalantly.   
  
"You mean you were the one that did it?" Scott asked shocked.  
  
Jordan nodded his head.  
  
"Why?"   
  
"I wanted the letter from my parents." Jordan said.  
  
Scott laughed sarcastically. "Yeah sure. Last time you saw that letter you looked ready to kill. What so drastically changed your mind."   
  
"Yeah. Really. Don't lie to us. You can lie to them all you want but lying to us is like a crime." Ezra said.   
  
Jordan plopped on his bed. He didn't want to talk anymore and he didn't. No matter what any of the guys asked him. He blocked it out, a skill he did very, very well.  
  
THE NEXT DAY...  
  
Jordan was back to his usual self. He woke up at 6:30 Sunday morning. Before everyone else. Getting dressed and taking the file from under his bed he went outside. As he got to the gazebo he sat down. It was getting light out. The sun was rising from the east with brilliant colors. He opened to the first report. It was about 5 years old.   
  
Jordan had been 10 when the first cop calls started coming. It was before they moved to the house they did now. Jordan had hated the cops. Not because they could hurt him or anything, but because Jackson and Kendra made him lie to them. Or they knew the cops and could be bought off.  
  
Anyway Jordan picked up the report and started reading it. It was one of the older ones. From when Jordan was about 10 or 11. That meant Hailey had been 3, and Dillion had been 6. That's the day Jordan had gotten his arm broken again and almost his jaw. He wanted to see what the police had said about it though. It was weird, he had been there, he knew what had happened. But to read the report now would be weird.  
  
As he read the words the memories and images came back into his mind.  
  
"We had a call from the neighbors, said they had heard a young child screaming and called to see if something had happened."  
  
========================FLASHBACK=============================  
  
10-year-old Jordan was in the living room playing with Hailey and Dillion. They were all laughing and giggling. Even Jordan for a change.   
  
"Jordan?" Dillion said. "When are mommy and daddy coming home?"   
  
"Soon." Jordan said depressed.  
  
:I'm hungry." Hailey said whining. Whining was her newest thing.  
  
"Come here Hail." He said holding out his arms for her.   
  
Hailey came to him and put her arms around his neck. He picked her up.  
  
"I'll get you something to eat.' He said as they made their way to the kitchen.  
  
Hailey squealed with delight as Jordan ran with her into the kitchen, Dillion right behind them. They were entering the Kitchen and Jordan was putting Hailey down when he heard the door slam. He tensed up. Put he hurried up and got both his siblings cookies, hoping that if they were all quiet nothing would go wrong. Even now he was scared to death of his parents. They'd never lay a hand on Hailey or Dillion fully intentionally but they would on him in a second. And Hailey and Dillion were his responsibility in their eyes. He needed to protect them.  
  
Jordan was just settling down when he heard the crushing of a toy and then Jackson swearing. He looked at the doorway to the kitchen with fear in his eyes.  
  
"Dill, you and Hailey go upstairs." He said to his brother in a scared yet harsh voice.  
  
"But..." Dillion began to say but Jordan shot him a look and ran up the stairs with Hailey.  
  
Jordan heard the plastic smacking up against the wall. Jackson must have been really mad.   
  
"JORDAN ALEXANDER." His mother called, he heard the rage in her voice and was frozen with fear. He didn't like it at all.  
  
He tried to move but couldn't. "Get in here by the count of 5, you don't want me coming in there to get you." She said screaming.  
  
He tried but he couldn't move. He didn't want to see them. He was scared.  
  
"ONE.... TWO.... THREE..." she yelled. "FOUR...FIVE..."  
  
He heard the footsteps coming closer and he backed against the wall, as far as he could go.  
  
Kendra was the first to reach him. She grabbed him by the hair and pulled him away from the wall. "When I call you, you come." She said to him and smacked him across the face. "Understand?" she said.  
  
Jordan nodded tears in his eyes.  
  
"What's that?" Jackson said mocking, Hitting Jordan across the face with the back of his hand.  
  
Jordan fell to the floor. Jackson kicked him. "What did I tell you about leaving your crap on the floor?" he said kicking Jordan again.  
  
"I'm...." Jordan said choking on tears and the blood coming from his nose. "I'm sorry."   
  
Kendra picked her son up by his shirt and threw his body against the sink. Jordan could hear a crack. He cried loudly in pain. His parents laughing.   
  
That's when they heard the police cars. Jackson and Kendra stopped. They were coming closer. They pushed Jordan up against the wall near the stairs.  
  
'You fell down 'em understand?" he said making Jordan look at the stairs, hurting his already tender jaw more.  
  
Jordan managed a "yes sir." Weakly before they heard the knock on the door.  
  
"Police, please open the door." A voice said.  
  
Kendra went to the door and opened it. "Hello officers?" she said innocently.  
  
"Hello Ma'am. I'm Officer Kennith, this is Officer Lier." The cop said pointing to his partner. "We got a call from one of your neighbors. Saying they heard screaming. Asked if we could check it out."  
  
Kendra nodded her head.  
  
"May we come in?" Deputy Lier asked.  
  
"Of Course." Kendra said.  
  
Jordan let out a yelp from the kitchen as he tried to move. More must have been busted than he thought.  
  
"What was that?" Officer Kennith asked making his way to the kitchen. That's where he saw Jordan at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"What happened hear?" The officer asked to no one unparticular.  
  
"Oh, Jordan our son, just had an accident and we didn't think we should move him yet. He fell down the stairs. That's what you heard, him screaming and then me shouting to my husband."  
  
"Is this true?" Officer Lier asked looking directly at Jordan  
  
"Yeah" Jordan said answering painfully, not looking up at the police officer. "I fell down the stairs."  
========================END FLASHBACK=======================  
  
Jordan was breathing hard. He could feel where the bones had been broken that day. Reading the Report he said bitterly laughing "What a joke. I can't believe they believed it." He said about his lie. That's what the whole report was, a lie. "The alleged victim fell down the stairs, or so was concluded after our investigation." Even they couldn't see it so how could he have expected Peter too? Maybe he was wrong to have taken the papers.  
  
"No." he reassured himself silently. "You needed to take them so taking the last one wouldn't look weird." He said. The last report being the one that talked about the night he was actually taken away and Dillion and Hailey were taken away.   
  
Jordan didn't want to think about it anymore. He stuffed the Papers back in his coat and looked at his watch. It was only 7:20. No one else was up yet. He made his way back to the dorm anyway.   
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
LATER THAT DAY  
  
Jordan and the cliffhangers were sitting around a table in the dining room. There had been another meeting earlier and Peter had apologized to everyone saying that the culprit of the evening confessed and everything was back to normal. It seamed to be a much more relaxed atmosphere now.  
  
"Hey, aren't reports tomorrow?" Ezra asked.  
  
"Yeah. Tomorrow, at group peter and Sophie are handing them out." Kat said reaching across the table to get the salt.  
  
Kat put some salt in her soda and drank it.  
  
"Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew!" Juliet exclaimed shuddering.  
  
"Hey it's good. Hank showed me." Kat said. "Anybody want some?"  
  
No one wanted it. "I'll try it." Jordan said taking Kat's glass. He took a big gulp.  
  
"Yum." He said. "It tastes like the stuff they give you in the hospital if you loose to much blood and they can't send you home yet. Sweet and salty."  
  
The group looked at him. "Never mind." He said not wanting to explain how he knew, so he decided to change the subject.  
  
"So what are the reports like?" he asked. "Like are they like report cards from school or are they different."  
  
"Well ours are like the report cards from school but our parents get one that has our grades and how we're doing and stuff. A little update." Juliet explained.  
  
"Oh great." Jordan said sighing.  
  
"It's not that bad." Scott said hitting Jordan in the arm. "Cheer up. Who cares what your parent's think. They aren't here right now. By the time you get home they'll have forgotten about any report you got."  
  
"Yeah sure." Jordan said hesitantly.  
PETER'S OFFICE  
  
"That's the last of them." Sophie said stuffing the last report into an envelope and licking the seal.   
  
"Great now we can relax." Peter said coming behind Sophie and giving her a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Ah yes." Sophie said moving to the couch and out of the chair she had been sitting in for the past hour and a half.   
  
"So..." Peter said as he went and sat next to her wrapping his arm around her.  
  
"So?" Sophie said leaning into his arms and hugging him.  
  
"What do you think about our Jordan situation?" Peter asked. "Ready for a solo hike do you think?"   
  
"Already thought of that." Sophie said pulling an envelope from her pocket. "His mom and step-dad said that his grandparents and them are sending something for him. It'll be here by Wednesday." She said with a smile on her face.  
  
"You think of everything don't you?" he asked.  
  
"Yep." She said yawning.  
  
"Tired much?" he asked.   
  
Sophie laughed. "I was thinking Next weekend for his solo." She said.  
  
"Sounds good. I'll tell him at group tomorrow." Peter said leaning in the couch and yawning also.'  
  
GROUP THE NEXT DAY  
  
All the cliffhangers were anxious to get their reports. They all wanted to see how they did and how each other did. Everyone wanted to see especially how Kat did on her last one the colleges would see. They were waiting in the lodge when Peter and Sophie came in.  
  
"Can we have them now?" Kat asked.   
  
"Yeah Peter can we?!?!" Juliet said happily.  
  
"In just a minute. I have an announcement to make." Peter said.  
  
The whole group moaned. "Not another one." Scott said.  
  
"Jordan will be going on his solo next weekend." Peter said.  
  
The group looked at him happily. Solo hikes were cool, except the last one they had with the storm and all. But they were a good experience.  
  
"Good Luck J." Auggie said to him patting him on the back.  
  
"Yeah." Ezra said.  
  
"Enough of the bonding here people. Can you just hand over them now please?' Daisy said about the reports. "Appease the people."  
  
"Fine, Fine, fine, fine." Sophie said in mock annoyance.   
  
"How come we have to be the last people to have group and get their reports?" Juliet said whiny.  
  
"Cause we're here to torture you. It's what we love to do." Sophie said laughing.  
  
They group got their report cards one at a time. Waiting to hear how the others reacted. Scott was the first.  
  
"Yea!" he said out loud.  
  
"What you get homes?" Auggie asked.  
  
"90 in English, 85 in Sci, 75 in History, 87 in Math, and 91 in french." He said saying the main courses.  
  
"Good job. Except that History Scott. Keep it up." Peter said.  
  
Juliet was next. "Um.. 86 in English, 80 in Science, 79 in History, 85 in math, and 89 in foreign language." She said.  
  
"Good one Jules." Auggie said. "Is mine next he asked?"  
  
"Yes it is,' Sophie said handing the paper to him.  
  
"All right!" Auggie said. "I got a 95 in English!" he said and received a high 5 from Scott and the rest of the gang.  
  
"Good going Aug." Scott said.  
  
"What else'd you get" Shelby asked.  
  
"70 in Sci, 80 in History, 77 in math, 99 in art." He said happily.  
  
Kat got hers next. "90 in Science, 95 in English too, 96 in History, 95 in math, and 90 in French." She said happily. That still put her on top of the others.  
  
Shelby and Daisy got the same grades -91,89,76.5,85, and an 80. In the exact same subjects too. Everyone laughed.  
  
"Ezra." Shelby said handing the paper to him. He went to get it.  
  
"I failed Latin." He said bitterly. "But everything else was good. 80's all the way across the board." He said.   
  
"At least you stay the same." Jordan said laughing. "Sorry about the latin Dude."  
  
"It's okay. Don't need it anyway. It's dead remember." Ezra said laughing.  
  
"And Jordan you first report." Sophie said smiling handing it to him.  
  
"Thanks." Jordan said to them taking it.  
  
"Whatcha get?" Kat asked.  
  
"100 in English, 99 in Science, 100 in Latin, 95 in Math, and a 93..." he said cutting himself off. "I got a 93 in math?" he asked himself astonished.  
  
"What? That's good last time I checked J." Scott said.  
  
"Yeah but still. It's the lowest grade on here and it's for math. My best subject. It went down 5 points from my last report at my old school." He said disappointed.  
  
"It's a freaking 93 Jordan. I would kill for that grade." Ezra said. "it's 13 points higher than an 80."  
  
"But it's not my average. I haven't gotten that in like forever, since I failed 2 tests in a row last year." He said and stopped.  
  
"Yeah your right." He said giving into them looking at him, the wouldn't understand.  
  
"Well look who's the smart one now." Shelby said.   
  
"Kat, you've been banished from your thrown." Daisy said.  
  
Everyone, including Kat and Jordan were laughing.  
  
"Someone needs to take my place when I'm gone right?" Kat said laughing.  
  
Everyone settled down after that and group got on it's way.  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED....  
  
P.S. Okay guys. Jordan needs a toy from his child hood for solo hike. Anyone have an Idea. I'm thinking a stuffed animal given to him by his dad before he died. Any idea what kind of animal? Thanks. Oh yeah and Review please. Tell me what you think about Jordan now, and everyone else too.  



	9. Memories-Part10- The solo hike

Memories- Part 10- Jordan's solo hike  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any higher Ground Characters. I do own Jordan Thomas, his brother and Sister- Dillion and Hailey Jade, His step dad and mom- Jackson and Kendra, His grandmother and Grandfather- Holly and Jacob Hart. And also most important Jordan's dad Matthew.  
I also don't own the poem in here for Journal Activity 11. It was written by Emily Dickinson if no body knew that.  
I also don't own the t.v. shows "Shirt tales", "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood" "The Snorks" the Toys- Crayola crayons, Koosh Products, etc.  
  
In this chapter- Jordan's solo hike, it's a bit hard on him to say the least.  
  
  
It's been a long time since the last one. I know it's been forever, a month and a half almost. I know. Sorry. Writers block. Sorry. :( Well here it is. I might replace this chapter later though.   
  
Okay Okay just one more thing to say, I think this was worth the 2 month wait. It's over 15 pages long in word in Times New Roman Font. Hehehe. Way to much boring time on my hands right? :) Enjoy and Review  
  
SUPPLY ROOM  
  
Jordan stood getting the last of the things he needed for his expedition. He was glad to be going on this quest alone. He loved the mountains. It was the one thing he had of his dad's that his mom hadn't spoiled for him. That was the one thing they had had for themselves. Matthew had taken Jordan hiking and camping since Jordan was little. It was a skill he had never forgotten and getting to do it now was one of the benefits of going to Horizon.  
  
"Are you Ready Jordan?" Peter called from outside.  
  
"Just a minute." Jordan said as he grabbed a safety harness, a rope clasp and a climbing cord, and threw them in his pack. He was ready to go.  
  
Sophie and Peter met him outside the shed. They had a package in their hands. Jordan looked at it and wondered what it was. He hadn't heard much about the solo hikes since the others were practically sworn to secrecy about it. He wished he knew what was up.  
  
"I'm ready." He said, hoping he really was ready to go.   
  
"Okay." Sophie said and led the way towards the woods, and the path that took them to the solo hike campsites.   
  
LATER ON-  
  
Jordan sat on a rock. The package in his hands. He had finished setting up his camp, with the tent and fire and all. He looked at the package in his hands. It was a normal package you would expect to get in the mail. You know, a box wrapped in brown paper. With the Address and stamps and string tying it all up. But Jordan just stared at it. He wondered what sick twisted thing his mom and Jackson were thinking of doing to him next. He wasn't living with them anymore but his fear was. He started to pull away the wrapping.   
  
"I can't." he said. He had heard that during solo hikes unwrapping the package to see what you received was supposed to be the most fun. But Jordan was resisting the urge to open it. He couldn't. To much was weighing on opening that simple package. He couldn't take it. Jordan got sick to his stomach. He put his head between his legs and threw up. Something he hadn't done out of fear in a long time.  
  
Jordan put the Box on the ground and got up. He grabbed the climbing supplies and left his camp site.  
  
Hiking through the woods to the rocks he wanted was fun for Jordan. He breathed in the fresh mountain air and the sent of the pine needles. It was great. Memories flooded back to him.  
  
*****FLASHBACK*****  
  
5-year-old Jordan ran ahead of his dad and the rest of the group with them. They were camping for the first time of the summer. Though Jordan enjoyed camping in the winter and spring, summer camping was the best.  
  
"Come on guys, come on," Jordan whined, as he waved to the others.  
  
Matthew ran up and grasped his son by the waste, camping pack and all. He spun him around and Jordan was laughing hysterically. He loved his dad.  
  
"So ready to set up are we?" Matthew asked with a mischievous smile. Jordan saw it and laughed.  
  
"What?" Matthew asked innocently reaching into his pockets.  
  
"Daddy. What are you doing?" Jordan asked laughing.  
  
Matthew started whistling that whistle that people do when they are trying to annoy someone.   
  
"What?" Jordan whined. "Tell me, tell me!"  
  
"I just thought we could go climbing first." Matthew said to his son, who's eyes suddenly lit up. "I hear they have great rock faces up here."  
  
"YEA!" Jordan screamed happily, he hugged his dad by the waist.  
  
Matthew had started teaching Jordan to climb when he was still a baby, that way Jordan would have no fear of heights or climbing later. Matthew and he did it all the time. And Jordan was getting really good at it.  
  
***** END FLASHBACK******  
  
Jordan snapped out of his daydream. He loved his dad and thinking back at that memory made him happy and sad at the same time.   
  
"I miss you daddy." He whispered softly to the wind. He set his book bag on the ground and picked out the purple Journal he had been given for his solo hike. He opened it and searched for a question that would be 'safe" to answer. Safe meaning nothing incrimination could come out of it. He didn't want that happening, did he?  
  
Jordan flipped through the pages. He came upon a question.  
  
5. Name one time you felt truly happy, this could be a memory the gift you got brings back or something else....  
  
" I think the one time I felt truly happy. "Jordan wrote. "Was when I was with my dad. We used to go camping. He was the one that taught me to climb. And when I do, I feel like he is still there watching me, even after he died. When he was sick the thing I missed most was being alone with him, without mom, or Dillion, or Hailey Jade. Just me and him. And being alone now is like that. I'm sitting in front of this rock face and am about to climb and it comes back to me, being with him. His hands guiding me on the rock, showing me the best ways to grip. All of that. When I lit the fire at camp I remember watching him do it and trying to show me how but I was to little to play with fire myself." He stopped writing. A smile was on his face.  
  
Jordan put the Journal back. "1 question down, 14 to go." He said, disappointment in his voice.  
  
He got the gear out of his pack and set up to climb.  
  
LATER ON...  
  
Jordan sat on the rock again. He knew he had to face what was in that box. And after throwing up he didn't want to feel defeated by his mom and Jackson when they weren't even there. He hated the power they had over him sometimes. Even thousands of miles away it still felt like they were watching over him. He was living in constant fear and he knew it. But there was nothing he could do about it. Telling wasn't, and had never been an option for him.   
  
And the fact that he hadn't really seen what was in the box and it bothered him made him hate himself a bit too. He felt he was a chicken and it was something he needed to do. He picked up the box and tour out the tissue paper. Placing in next to him. From the box he pulled out a smaller package, and a 3 pictures.   
  
Jordan looked at the pictures first. The first one was of Dillion, Hailey, his mom, Jackson and him. It was taken shortly before his brother and sister were taken away.   
  
"A perfect family." Jordan said sarcastically and bitterly. He looked at the plastered smiles on everyone's faces. The photographers had had to take 3 takes of the picture before everyone smiled. Mainly Jordan, Jackson had threatened him before they had gone into the studio and then kept squeezing his arm until he smiled. Jordan had gotten beaten up that night, breaking the arm that Jackson had been squeezing. But a photo would never show a family like that would it? Jordan thought to himself.  
  
The next was another family picture. It was taken when Jordan was 5. His dad had been in this one. So had his mom. His dad's face was crossed out with a big black X in a circle around his dad's face. His mom had done   
  
The next picture was of Jordan alone. It was taken right before he had come to Horizon. Bruises were still fresh on his face. Jordan could feel them now. His "parents" had always liked seeing Jordan bruised. 'To admire their handy work." His mom had once said. Jordan turned the photograph over.  
  
"Dear Son, Just a little trip down memory lane. How bout it?" It was his mother's handwriting. "See what happens to bad boys. Hope you remember that. Or else you'll need to be taught another lesson. Your mother and father."   
  
Jordan looked at the words again. 'Father' he thought bitterly. 'Never.' He said out loud as he crumbled up the photo and threw it into the fire. The smell of burning photographs filled the air and Jordan gasped for breath as memories fled back to him. He had smelt that smell before.  
  
***************FLASHBACK*********************  
  
Young Jordan stood crying. His mom was throwing away all of daddy's pictures. All the ones of daddy and him, and of daddy and mom, and daddy and the mountains where he had taught Jordan how to climb. And mom was burning them and Jordan couldn't understand why.  
  
"Stop please mommy." Jordan said crying. He knew pictures were all he had left.  
  
But his mom didn't stop, the smell of the burning photos was filling the room as the pictures melted in the fire. Jordan watched.   
  
"Why does mommy have to be so mean?" Jordan asked, he felt hate for her then, for doing this to him and his dad.  
  
Jordan watched the fire dance. The fumes were making him sick to his stomach, he felt like he was going to throw up. But something kept him planted there he couldn't move.   
  
"Mommy, Please." He begged again and again, screaming through his tears.  
  
"Shut up." Kendra screamed in the little boy's face. Jordan could smell the liquor on her breath. She had been drinking again.  
  
"Please..." be begged again. But was met only with a hard smack with the back of his mom's hand.   
  
"I said shut the heck up." She screamed at him taking a drink from a glass, of what Jordan didn't know.  
  
Jordan waited till his mom was looking away to grab the top most pictures off the pile. They were luckily the 2 that he wanted the most. The one of him and his dad camping, the other of him, his dad and brother and sister. The other one had him and his dad and mom on it.   
  
He snuck them under his shirt, the two most important first. Then the other and he was going to grab another picture when his mom caught him.  
  
"What do you think your doing?" She said grabbing his wrist with her free hand, and squeezing it tight. She pulled him over to her, Jordan was crying now.  
  
"Answer me." She said twisting his arm.  
  
"No.. nothing." Jordan said crying, biting his lip with the pain.   
  
"It doesn't look like nothing." She said twisting his arm more, moving him closer to the burning fire place.  
  
Jordan gagged. He felt the food in his stomach coming up, The smell was so nauseating, but he couldn't and he swallowed it back.  
  
Kendra moved Jordan's hand with the photograph in it closer to the fire.  
  
"Give me one reason I shouldn't burn you." She said.  
  
Jordan screamed, he could feel the heat on his hand. "Please mommy. Don't please." He begged some more.   
  
This time his begging worked. She moved him over. But then punched the little boy in the stomach. He fell like a bag of bricks. She laughed. Jordan cried. Curling into a little ball so his mom couldn't hurt him again. She laughed again, threw the rest of the pictures into the fire and leaving him there.  
  
****** END FLASHBACK *******  
  
Jordan was breathing hard after that. He looked in the box. Inside was a small package. He almost didn't want to see what it was. But something made him open it. Inside was a small stuffed lion. A simple furry lion. Jordan felt tears rush to his eyes. He wiped them quickly away.  
  
"Don't cry you wus." He whispered harshly to himself.   
  
His dad had given Jordan the lion when he was sick. Near the end when his dad could barely get out of bed any more, and the time when mom started acting 'funny'.  
  
"Daddy." Jordan whispered softly again and held back the tears.  
  
He opened the Journal.  
  
10. What is one memory that something in your package brings back to you?  
  
"In my package was my stuffed lion. Daddy got him for me when he was sick. After I told him I didn't want him to leave me ever. Cause I knew he would be gone soon. He got me the lion and I remember him saying 'This is for you to be brave Jordan. When I'm gone and things get bad, which they will at times in live, I want you to take this lion and remember me. He'll make you strong and I'll be with you.' I cried when he said that. A couple weeks later he went to the hospital for a check up and the cancer had spread. It was the end. Mom knew it, dad knew it, I knew it. I just couldn't face it. The lion helped me feel better. I had it with me when dad died. I cried with it...  
  
Jordan dropped his pen. He couldn't write anymore. He kept having another image popping into his head, and not a happy one either.  
  
*****************FLASHBACK************************************8  
  
Jordan had to be 7 by now. Right after Jackson moved in and he and Kendra started drinking and hitting him. Jackson threw the little boy in a closet. Jordan hated closed spaces, and now since his dad died he was afraid of the dark. Jackson knew it and thrived on the little boy's fear.  
  
"Get in there and shut up.' He said. "And your not coming out until you learn your lesson." He threw the lion at Jordan.  
  
"And if I or your mother hear a single peep out of you, you know what's gonna happen with your precious little lion?"  
  
Jordan shook his head no and cried.  
  
"He's gonna die." Jackson said and slammed the door.  
  
Jordan sat there silently for as long as he could. He tried to think of nice things. Like daddy and the mountains and Baby Hailey and Dillion, anything. And it was working. Finally the closet door opened. It had been hours. He didn't know. But Jackson didn't say he could come out he just took the lion.   
  
"I heard something." He said.  
  
"No...No I didn't do anything." Jordan cried.  
  
But Jackson just laughed. He twisted the lions head around and around. Jordan closed his eyes.  
  
******************FLASHBACK ENDED**********************  
  
Jordan blinked. He wanted the image gone from his head. Suddenly he was tired.  
But he couldn't sleep, not yet. It was still light out and the fire needed to be allowed to grow a bit more first. He opened his Journal to another page.  
  
  
7. What is one feeling this solo hike brings up?   
  
  
Jordan looked at the question. 'Fear' he thought to himself. But he knew he couldn't write it. Especially if Sophie or Peter were reading it. To many questions that Jordan didn't want to and couldn't answer without severe consequences. 'Make something up.' He thought. He did it all the time.  
  
  
"This solo makes me feel at peace with myself. Here alone in nature I get to connect with the earth as one. Even more so than on a quest. I have time to myself to think. Which is good. So I feel in union with myself. And that is a good feeling."  
  
  
'What a load of Crap.' He said out loud. That's what it was a bunch of Garbage.  
He tried to find a better question. One that he could answer at least half truthfully. Jordan inside really hated lying. But lies kept you safe from the people that could really hurt you. They kept him safe.  
  
1. What are the things in your package?  
  
"Some pictures of my family and a stuffed lion my dad gave me when he got sick. All of It is from my childhood.  
  
2. Look around your campsite. Does it feel different being on a solo than a quest.  
  
"Yeah it does. Really different. I'm all alone and that is good. I like to be by myself for a change without all these people bugging me half to death. Which gets sooooo annoying."  
  
4. What is one happy memory from your childhood?  
  
"Probably camping with my dad. We did that a lot. It meant we could be together alone and not worry about anyone else being with us which was always good. That meant no mom or Hailey or Dillion or anyone. It was great to be alone with him. He taught me all this cool stuff. Like climbing and hiking and making fires and tents and stuff. I loved being with him more than anything else in the world. Except maybe dad himself and Hailey and Dillion.  
  
7. What is one sad memory from your childhood?  
  
"My dad dying. I was 6 when he died and it shattered my world for a while. I was lost without him there. I would go looking for him and he wasn't there and for a while I thought I heard him or saw him. But I knew I didn't. Eventually I stopped looking for him and knew he was gone. Life went back to normal I guess. I mean as normal as possible after what happened. But I still felt empty inside.'  
  
'At least part of it's true.' Jordan said out loud. All of it actually except the part about normal. It was at least safe enough to write.  
  
MEANWHILE AT THE SOLO HIKE CABIN (couldn't think of a better name)  
  
Peter and Sophie sat drinking coffee. It was beginning to get dark outside. And they were enjoying the quietness of being alone.  
  
'How do you think he's doing." Sophie said suddenly, looking out the small window in the cabin.  
  
"Who?" Peter asked, striking up conversation.  
  
"You know who." Sophie said. "Jordan."  
  
"I think he's fine. As fine as you can be on a solo." He added softly.  
  
Sophie knew what he ment and sighed.   
  
BACK AT THE SOLO SITE- later that night  
  
Jordan was ready to go to sleep, The solo hike so far had tired him out. It was still early but he was struggling to keep his eyes open. He decided he would take one more Journal activity before going to sleep.  
  
11. What is one thing that comes to your mind during your hike?  
  
Jordan thought for a moment. He took a deep breath and breathed in the cool mountain air. A remembrance of a poem filled his mind.  
  
"Sitting here I am reminded of a poem by Emily Dickinson. ' This is my letter to the world that never wrote to me. The simple news that nature told with tender majesty. Her message is committed to hands I can not see: For love of her, sweet countrymen. Judge tenderly of me." I don't know why but it just did. Maybe the whole nature thing or something. It has to be one of my favorite poems. I read it some where once and never forgot it."  
  
With that he yawned. And closed the book and turned off the light. It was a matter of minutes until he fell asleep.   
  
LATER THAT NIGHT  
  
Jordan lay still in his sleeping bag.. Pretending to be asleep. The cold stillness of the night was surrounding him. He felt totally alone. And to make matters worse he knew he was. No one here or anywhere loved him. The only people who had cared about him had left him. His daddy had died. Hailey Jade and Dillion had been sent to their grandparents, and had virtually almost forgotten him. Except for an occasional letter he rarely heard from them. And it hurt him though he wouldn't admit it. And it wasn't really the fact they forgot about him, but what he had done for them. He had sacrificed himself for them and he was the reason they were "free" now. He didn't really want them to remember what Kendra and Jackson had done to them. He let them think their parents were good people. He never cried in front of them, well maybe once or twice, but he tried to make sure that they never saw them hurt him. And as much as he needed them he knew he had to let them go.   
  
Jordan opened his Journal.  
  
12. How do you feel at this very moment?  
  
'Alone." He wrote.  
  
"Is that a safe answer?" Jordan asked himself. AS long as he didn't elaborate on it to much it was.  
  
"It's weird after spending so much time with the other cliffhangers that I am now alone. It's kind of cool. But weird at the same time. Oh well."  
  
"Short but sweet." He said and put it down. Turning over he tried to go back to sleep.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
THE NEXT DAY  
  
Jordan woke up later than he had planned on the next day. He had been having a nightmare and was awoken to footsteps coming nearer to him. In his still half-asleep state he screamed.   
  
"No!" he said loudly, a hint a fear in his voice. In his mind it was Jackson or his mom coming for him. The footsteps were so similar.  
  
  
Hearing Jordan scream Sophie and Peter ran to his tent.  
  
"Jordan are you okay?" Sophie asked since she reached there first.  
  
Jordan breathed deeply, his heart racing, still in his slight state of delirium. He had to shake his head a couple of times to make sure where he was.  
  
"Um... Yeah." He said breathing in again. I just was startled a bit." He said trying to make a recovery effort after looking like a fool in front of them. "You guys just appeared out of nowhere and I thought you were some bear or something.'  
  
Peter and Sophie looked at each other. Making their faces look like they bought it when they were thinking 'yeah right'.   
  
"Are you sure you're all right?" Sophie asked putting her arm around him for a quick second before Jordan violently brushed it off.  
  
"Don't touch me." He said softly. He didn't want to feel anyone's hands on him after his nightmares. It made them seem even more real. Especially after this one when he had heard their footsteps coming.  
  
Sophie took her hand away instantly. She knew better than to not listen to that after all the stuff she had seen at Horizon. Mainly with working with Scott and Shelby.  
  
"Are you sure your okay?" Peter said a moment later. He stressed the word sure.  
  
"Yeah." Jordan said. "I'm fine okay?" there was no emotion in his voice. But a hint of something reassuring.  
  
"Okay." Peter said taking Sophie's arm. "We'll be back to check on you later."  
  
"Fine." Jordan said. "Bye."  
  
  
Sophie and Peter left Jordan in his tent. When they got a reasonable distance away from the camp site, where she knew Jordan couldn't hear, Sophie stopped.  
  
"What the heck was that Peter?" Sophie said making him let go of his arm. 'He was ready to say something. And you decided to leave."  
  
"Solos aren't the place Sophie. They're like sacred here. It's the kids things, not ours. We instruct all the time. This is there's. And as much as I want to know the truth, and you know I want to as much as you, this is not the place. It ruins the idea of it." Peter said trying to explain, though he had a feeling that excuse wasn't enough for Sophie.  
  
But to Peter's surprise Sophie took it as an explanation because she started walking back towards the cabin.   
  
  
BACK AT THE SOLO SITE  
  
Jordan threw his clothes in his pack after he changed his clothes.  
  
"This is stupid.' He yelled to himself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid camping, stupid memories, stupid school, stupid questions. All of it STUPID!" he yelled.   
  
"Just write and get the thing over with." He told him self. "The quicker the better."  
  
Jordan didn't want to remember anymore. Not after the stunt he had pulled with Peter and Sophie that morning. Screaming in front of them. Through this whole trip he kept willing his emotions to shut down. Like he had let them zillions of times before, mostly here at this 'stupid' school. And finally it was working. He was letting himself shut down. Building the walls up again. He had let them slip lately, and this trip was putting them back up. Especially after seeing Jackson and Kendra's "present.'  
  
"Only 20 more hours." He said mournfully.  
  
Taking out his real Journal, the one not belonging to Horizon, the one he always had with him and wrote in all the time, that if misplaced and read by someone else would surely let out "it".  
  
"I wish this solo hike was better. And it was until I opened that stupid package. I thought it would be like camping with daddy. Me alone in the woods with the earth and no one to bug me. But daddy's not here. I know not in person but maybe he is in spirit. But it's hard to believe that now... But of course mom, that witch. Had to ruin it for me again. Her and Jackson and their sick twisted minds. I hate them. I might deserve it but they could let off a little. You know give me a break once in a while. But no. Bad boys need to be on constant punishment, so that means that I am doomed to it forever I guess. I;'m trying so hard not to let the secret of what happens at home slip. Not to anyone. But it's hard. And I'm not even trying to save their butt's. I'm saving mine. Cause I know if I said anything and they found out they'd kill me. They came close before and I am NOT letting that happen again. I am sick of keeping that stupid solo journal. Watching my words so carefully so I don't write anything that can be taken the wrong way. It's stupid. I wish I could just go away and climb. But that brings memories back to. And I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER! Can't they understand that. I've been forced to forget daddy, or act like it cause if I said anything about him Jackson and Mom would have beaten the crap out of me. I've tried so hard to forget. It's easier that way. But nooooo. Here I have to remember. 'It's good for you' they say. Yeah right. I don't think so. I don't want to remember anymore. NOT anything. Not really..."   
  
Jordan sighed. "Not really" he said softly rereading his entry. He didn't change it. But there were always some things to remember even though they hurt. Daddy's face, and the way he smelled. And how to climb and all that. He didn't want to forget, not intirely.  
  
With that Jordan got up. He needed to clear his head. How he didn't know. But he didn't want to stick around for Peter and Sophie to check on him just yet. He grabbed both his journals and his hiking stuff and walked away.  
  
Going down the path Jordan saw the river. He dipped his hands in it. Nice and cool in the spring and fall. That's what Matthew always said. Jordan sat down, took off his shoes and put his feet in the water. He took out the Purple Journal again.  
  
"Might as well finish it." He said.  
  
3. What were some of your favorite things as a child?  
  
"I used to love spending time with my dad and my best friend Jamie. She was awesome. I still love spending time with her. I loved watching the Shirt tales, Sesame Street, Mr. Rodgers and the Snorks. I loved Koosh balls and coloring. I also loved the colors green and yellow. They were my favorite crayola crayons. I loved crayola crayons. I also liked to play t-ball and soccer. And read. And go rock climbing and repelling."  
  
  
13. What was the one thing you hated as a kid?  
  
"I hated broccoli and spinach. They were the worst foods ever. I also hated this kid named Josh McDonnell. He was this bully in my 3rd grade class that beat me up a couple of times. I think he was the first person I ever hated. I hated my 1st-3rd grade Music Teacher Mrs. W. She was so mean. Like some other people I've met in my life. I hated her too. I also hated hospitals and the colors sea blue and black.. "  
  
9. What do you hope to learn during your solo hike.  
  
"I hope to reconnect with the person I was. Maybe change a bit from how I am, though I don't see what should change. Maybe I'll realize why I am the way I am. Though I don't know if I ever will. I want to learn how to be alone again without a million people on my back and see how it is to sleep alone and not with 3 other guys in a dorm room, oh those were the days."  
  
Jordan put the notebook down. He looked at his watch. 1:30. He should eat lunch, he hadn't had breakfast. His stomach wasn't growling though. But he headed back anyway.  
  
When he got to the campsite he knew Peter and Sophie had been there again. He could sense it somehow. And it bothered him. He sighed.  
  
"What were they doing snooping around." Jordan said angrily. "Thank god I burned that picture last night,."  
  
That picture meaning the one of his bruised up face. They would have had a field day with that one. And Jordan wouldn't have wanted them to have the chance. That's when he heard their voices.  
  
"You were here and looked around, while I was GONE!" he yelled at them as soon as he saw them.  
  
Peter and Sophie took a step back. There was something about his voice that scared them. It was anger or fear or something. They knew instantly what they had done had been more wrong than they had thought.  
  
"We're sorry Jordan. We came back and you weren't here. We looked around to see if you had left a note or anything." Sophie said trying to explain.  
  
"Yeah.." Jordan said shaking his head. "Sure you were."  
  
He was beginning to trust the people here. No one asked to many questions. They knew the boundaries. Or so Jordan thought. He thought they understood what he needed. But now... He couldn't believe them. He didn't want to.  
  
"Jordan, we're sorry." Peter said again. More apologetic this time.  
  
"You guys were looking around. You said you wouldn't snoop and you did. You lied." Jordan said. "And last time I checked the rules were not to lie and you broke your own rules."  
  
  
"Your right, and We're sorry." Sophie said professionally. They had broken the agreement of solo's they had intruded.  
  
"Whatever." Jordan said sighing. He didn't want to know. He started shutting down again. He sat on a log and didn't even look at Peter and Sophie. It was like old times at the beginning of his stay there. He hadn't shut down in a while. Peter and Sophie kept talking until they realized he wasn't hearing them and then they stopped and looked at him.  
  
"Jordan?"   
  
Jordan didn't answer them. He kept looking at his shoes and zoning them out. Eventually Peter and Sophie gave up and left. Jordan took out his journal.  
  
"They did it. They finally did it. I knew I couldn't be safe here. They would butt in and then it would be the beginning of the end. Well it must be. I'm surprised I'm not seeing the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. I was beginning to trust them to. Stupid stupid me. Back to my normal idiotic self right? Yeppers. I was beginning to trust them. And look what happens. They sneak around in my tent and then act like it was no big deal. Yeah right. What if that picture had been there. Oh God, I don't even want to think about it. I could feel the fists in my face from Jackson right now. If I had to go back there they'd beat me for sure. I wouldn't have to worry about only getting a broken jaw like last time. And this is why I hate trusting people. It hurts more. I mean Peter and Sophie were starting to get cool. Like they really cared or something. But they were just trying to screw me up more like everyone else. Like the Wilkins, my old foster family. I liked them a lot. I mean I really loved them. Or I thought I did. I felt comfortable around them, because they were nice and they tried to help me and they let me see Hailey Jade and Dillion. Which meant a lot to me. But then as soon as social services got me they didn't give it a second thought before they shipped me off to mom and Jackson again. Well Peter and Sophie are like them to.. I hate them all. Every last one of them."  
  
Jordan threw his pencil down snapping it in two. "Great" he screamed. "That's just great."  
  
He went to his tent and grabbed something to eat. He ate and was in a state of mental shut down, a state he really wanted to be in right now. He felt numb inside, and it was a good thing.  
  
LATER ON  
  
Jordan still hated Peter and Sophie, and everyone else on the planet that had ever hurt him for that matter. "Some great experience this turned out to be." Jordan said bitterly. Taking out his purple Journal one last time.  
  
6.What is one of the Best memories you had as a child?  
  
"One of the best memories is all of the ones I had with my dad and then also the time when all of my family, Mom, Daddy, Hailey Jade, and Dillion and I went on a picnic at the lake together for the last time."  
  
8. What is your worst memory you had as a child?  
  
"Being hit by mom for the first time. And the times when Jackson hit me and all my life after he came in. Maybe also when I found out that Hailey Jade and Dillion were being taken from me after all I did for them and how much I gave up for them. I'll never forget that. And how when I got back home when they weren't sent back and mom and Jackson ended up having to take me to the hospital."  
  
Jordan looked at it and knew he couldn't write that. He took the paper and ripped it out. He let that burn in the fire to. Watching the paper turn black and then disappear into the ashes.  
  
"Oh well" he thought. "Maybe they won't notice."  
  
He looked at his watch. It was 11:30 at night. He knew he needed his sleep but he couldn't, afraid of the nightmares that would plague his sleep. He knew they would be bad tonight like they had been the other night of his solo hike. He opened to the 14th question in his notebook.  
  
14. How has your solo hike experience been thus far?  
  
"Oh it's been terrific. I love the fact that people sneak around my tent and all. Nice job guys. And I don't care if I get in trouble for this cause it's true. But me on shuns for a week I don't give a hoot. But other than that little incident It was good. I loved climbing and spending time alone when people weren't interrupting me."  
  
"Serves them right." Jordan said and turned to the last page in his book.  
  
15. What did you get out of this solo hike experience?  
  
"I think I got a lot out of it. It was nice to remember my childhood. All my favorite things and memories of my dad and brother and sister and mom. It was nice. And being immersed in nature alone, with the water, wind and trees and the sights and smells and feelings, it's wonderful. I also learned that not everyone like you hope they will be. And that people won't always live up to your expectations."  
  
"Finished." Jordan said and put the book down in his book bag and getting ready to go to sleep. As he snuggled deeper into his sleeping bag he hugged his stuffed lion. Hoping not to have any more bad dreams tonight. The day couldn't get much worse.  
  
  
THE NEXT DAY  
  
Jordan woke up early. He didn't want Peter and Sophie sneaking up on him again. They arrived at his campsite at 10:00 sharp. He was already ready.  
  
"Here." He said shoving the purple Journal in Sophie's hands.  
  
He went to walk ahead of them. Not looking back. Peter and Sophie just followed. They had agreed to just let him cool down. And then talk to him about it after he had. He didn't walk to them all the way to the cabin.  
  
"Jordan come on. The cars around back." Peter said as Jordan started following the path they had taken earlier.  
  
Jordan turned and followed them. He didn't want to make them mad or anything. He was still scared of that and knew when they read his journal they'd be pretty ticked then. He deserved it, he knew he would. He'd get punished for it but it was good while it lasted right? Might as well make it worth it.  
  
Jordan got in the car and didn't say a word until they got back to horizon.  
  
  
BACK AT HORIZON  
  
"I'm going to unpack." Jordan said cooly as soon as they got parked.  
  
"Okay, Jordan Just be at the dinning hall in time for Lunch okay, we're having group after."  
  
"What ever." Jordan sighed throwing his pack over his shoulder.  
  
As Jordan walked away Peter and Sophie hugged each other. "Looks like that wasn't the best idea ever." Sophie sighed. "Our road just got a bit longer."  
  
"It didn't get longer." Peter said. 'Just a few more pot holes here and there."  
They looked at each other and smiled. Then walked to the Administrations building.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
What a great way to end right?! :)  



	10. Memories-Part 11

Memories- Part 11  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the original Higher Ground characters. I do how ever own all the new ones. These include Jordan, his mom and step-dad Kendra and Jackson. His sister Hailey Jade and bother Dillion. His social Worker Max Anderson and Helen Brandon (Hailey and Dillion's social worker). I also own Jill Trinity, the mail lady. And also Aubrey, as I said before Shelby's friend.  
  
In this chapter- Post Solo Hike stuff. The missing journal page builds up on Peter and Sophie's suspicions. Shelby writes a letter and gets one back too. Is she falling for him all over again? Can you love 2 people the same and only give yourself to one?   
  
Note- Okay Shelby's letter sounds very un-Shelby like. But think of it this way okay when you read it. She's known Aubrey her whole life and she can tell him anything. So she's less icy to him than anyone else.  
  
Oh yeah another Note- Here we tell how Scott told the Cliffhangers about the skank. This takes place after everyone meets her and his dad "separate" from her. I have a philosophy that Scott's dad and the Skank will get back together. Whether this scene would really happen or not is your own idea. But since Every one knows in Former Chapters about it I showed to for Jordan to have a personal Revelation.   
  
CLIFFHANGERS BOYS DORM   
  
Jordan trudged into the dorm tired and irritated. He was hoping to find the room empty, being so close to lunchtime and all. But It couldn't be so. Scott, Auggie, and Ezra were there. Sitting on the floor playing what seamed to be a game of poker.  
  
"Hey J." Auggie said looking up from his cards for a moment.  
  
Jordan made his way to his bed without saying anything to the guys. He didn't want to talk. Afraid of saying something to offend them or something he would regret later.   
  
"Yo! Jordan, we said hey." Scott said as he folded from the game.  
  
Jordan still kept the ignoring state of the conversation. He started to unpack his stuff. Putting it in piles of clean and dirty on his bed. The guys sensed something was up.  
  
"Bad hike J?" Auggie asked. The group looked at him, waiting for an answer.  
  
It took a few moments before Jordan spoke. "That would be an understatement." Jordan sighed. He wondered if the guys even heard. But they had.  
  
"Why what happened?" Scott asked. Intrigued with the newest gossip.  
  
"Peter and Sophie went through my stuff while I was off my camp site is what." Jordan shouted. He had done it, lost his cool. That's why he had shut up but there was no stopping now. "They went through my tent. And plus I got a letter from mom and Jackson back home." He said their names bitterly. "It was a stupid hike, and a stupid idea."  
  
The guys looked at Jordan. They couldn't believe Peter and Sophie would go through his things. They wondered why they would have if they did at all.   
  
"They wouldn't." Ezra said almost in disbelief. The guys laughed at his late reaction. "I mean they wouldn't do that unless they had a reason right?"  
  
The guys looked at Jordan that sounded right. It went along with the whole 'We don't tolerate tattle-tailing unless it's about someone hurting themselves or someone else.' They wouldn't search for something unless they had sufficient doubts.  
  
"You hiding something from them Jordan?" Scott asked, and then realized how rude that sounded. "Were you afraid they'd find something there? Is that why you're so upset about it?"  
  
'Yeah, scared to death of it all.' Jordan thought. But he didn't say that. What he said was more vicious. And as soon as it came out of his mouth he regretted it.  
  
"Screw you Scott." Jordan said through his teeth. Trying to keep his cool. Scott's words were so accusative. And it wasn't even the fact that they were that bothered Jordan, it was the fact that they were so true. And that meant that maybe Scott, and Ezra and Auggie knew. That meant that everyone might know.   
  
"Why don't you all go worry about your own screwed up freaking lives and stop butting into mine. You all have worse problems then mine. So bug off. And leave me the heck alone. I can take care of myself." Jordan said throwing his dirty close at the three of them. "I don't have to worry about a gang coming after me Aug. Or using drugs or anything to get attention Ez. I can protect myself unlike you Scott. I can take care of myself. I have before and their ain't no reason I can't now." He screamed at them. He was blowing them all down and he didn't like himself for it but he didn't care.   
  
Scott got up and came at him, grabbing his arm, and almost twisting it. Jordan hardly winced at the familiar act of force and the sharp pain that came with it. "Don't you ever say that." Scott threatened. Though he hated fights he was sticking up for all 3 of the guys.   
  
"Let go of me." Jordan said.  
  
"Not until you listen to what I have to say." Scott said. "I tried to protect myself. But she was always there. There was nothing I could do, short of locking my door, which she could pick by the way, that I could do to stop her from coming onto me. So don't tell me that I can't protect myself. I wouldn't have confronted her if I couldn't handle it."  
  
"And don't say anything about gangs Jordan. The streets are tough. I can say that. But when I was there with my brother It wasn't all bad. I mean the cops coming after me and getting knifed were but it was a piece of home." Auggie said as he confronted Jordan.  
  
"Let go of me." Jordan said struggling to get out of Scott's grasp.   
  
"No." Scott said as he grabbed onto Jordan's arm tighter, an action Jordan was also way too familiar with.  
  
"And don't say I did drugs to get attention. I might have at the beginning but then it wasn't anymore. I couldn't stop after I started. But I grew past that. I'm clean now." Ezra said. "And I don't have to hide anything like you do."   
  
"Man let me go." Jordan said almost beggingly.   
  
It didn't seam like Scott was going to and Jordan spun around fast and hard so Scott would have to let go of him. And it worked. Scott looked at him and rubbed his arm that was now hurting him.  
  
"When I say let me go, I mean it." Jordan said angrily. "Got it?"  
  
"No I don't. I don't get how you can't stand anyone else trashing anyone when you just trashed us. Or how you shut yourself off from all of us and then get mad on quests when we don't let you in on the group. Why should we. You don't make the effort but we stick up for you. Cause we're supposed to. We didn't tell Peter and Sophie about the nightmares, or trashing the cabin. When we really well could've. But we didn't cause that's now how we work around here." Scott said as the leader. "Got that? Cause if you don't you better shape up really fast."   
  
"If you have a problem with anyone just say it Jordan, god. You wanna fight we'll fight. But not like this." Auggie said.  
  
"You wanna hit me, go ahead and hit me Auggie, Scott. I know you both want to. There's nothing here to stop you. Cause if I tell Peter I'll get shuns to. So just do it. Man or all you all chickens?" Jordan said cockily. He had been hit enough to know how to take pain. It was nothing new.  
  
Auggie looked at him and raised his fist. Jordan backed away on reflex. 'No, please' he thought on instant. It sickened himself. He had taken beatings before and was not scared of a punch.  
  
*****FLASHBACK*****  
  
Jordan stood against the kitchen counter. He was backing away as far as he could from the punch that Jackson was aiming to get at him. The man's fist went higher.  
  
"No, Please" Jordan said beggingly.  
  
The man didn't listen and Jordan braced himself for the impact of his stepfather's fist on his face. The man's fist came down right on Jordan's cheekbone. The pain hit fast and hard.  
  
***********END FLASHBACK**************  
  
Auggie must have sensed his fear. The guys all saw it on Jordan's face though he didn't admit it was there. He dropped his fist and put out his hand for a shake.  
  
"We're gonna make a truce." He said not in a question but an order.   
  
Jordan shook his hand and walked, no ran, out of the room without looking back. He couldn't be there any more.  
  
The guys looked at each other. "Did you see the look he had on his face when you raised your fist Aug.?" Ezra asked.  
  
"Did you see his eyes?" Scott said. "Those are the eyes I had when I saw the skank again.  
  
"We need to tell Peter and Sophie, Homes." Auggie said taking action this time.  
  
"Yeah." Scott and Ezra agreed.  
  
They just had one problem. What were they going to say.  
  
ADMITIONS BUILDING- PETER'S OFFICE  
  
Peter and Sophie collapsed next to each other on the couch exhausted. After Jordan had his blow out, which they knew he rightfully deserved to have, after what they did, they were tired of the world. It seamed like it would be on a rainy day, only without the rain.   
  
"If we did the right thing, according to you, not me, why do we feel like this?" Sophie asked.  
  
"We feel like this because we thought something would be there and it turns out it's not." Peter said. He knew the whole thing was stupid. Jordan had come so far and it was his and Sophie's fault he was slipping back.  
  
"I think we need to say we're sorry." Sophie said. "I mean really say it." She said and absentmindedly flipped through the Journal Jordan had thrusted into her hands before stomping into the car.  
  
"Hey Peter..." She asked looking at the book closer. "What was Journal question number eight?"   
  
Peter looked at her. "Isn't it there?" he asked looking at the book and back to her.  
"It's ripped out. It goes from question seven to question nine." She said.  
  
"Let me check." Peter said getting off the couch and going to his file cabinet. He pulled out another Journal and opened it up. "What is your worst memory you had as a child?"   
  
"I think we're onto something." Sophie said.  
  
  
MEANWHILE- In the Girls Cliffhanger Dorm  
  
Shelby had an early lunch. She had cleared it with Jeff already. She wanted to have the whole room to herself while she wrote to Aubrey. She picked up a pen. It seamed like so long since she had written to him. At least a month or two. But she loved getting his letters. It reminded her that someone other than Scott could ever love her.  
  
"Dear Aubrey, Hey! I got your letter. I'm fine I guess. I miss you a lot too you know. I read your letter and I felt sad. When you said you loved me. I don't know. This isn't like me Aub. I can't show my feelings like this. Why do you have that over me. Why can you always make me do that. Make me who I'm not. Or maybe it's who I really am. WHY did you have to say you love me?!?! Why? Oh God Aubrey. I think I love you to. I mean I know I love you. More than anything, except maybe Scott (I don't know maybe I love you equally) And Jess, I love my sister. But you. I can't not love you. But I have just one question. Is it possible for me to love you and Scott. Is it? Man I go from not loving anyone at all to loving 2 guys at once. Scott's here with me but lately I see myself dreaming of you and me. It's weird. I never had dreams like this before. I don't know Aubrey, I've never felt this way before. Never. Anyway. Horizon Is hectic right now. Jordan (the newbie) isn't much better than before. I thought he had been but then he called us all screwed up freaks. And I might be screwed up. But I am not a freak! Not at all. And then the funny thing is, is that like not more than 3 minutes later he looks all sad and apologizes. Like he really means he's sorry. I don't know. It's weird. Scott's teaching me to play the piano. I don't know what else to say Aubrey. This is weird. I want to talk to you but can't write it now. So I'll stop. I love you. Love, Shelby." She wrote.  
  
She didn't really know why she felt the need to stop but stopped none the less.  
She put the letter in an already addressed envelope that Aubrey had so nicely sent as a reminder that he expected a letter back. She licked the envelope and stuck it in her pocket. She'd have to give it personally to Jill, the mail lady later. But now she had to go to group.  
  
  
THE LODGE  
  
Scott, Shelby, Ezra, Daisy, Auggie, Juliet, and Kat sat on the chairs and couch in the center of the Lodge. Shelby on Scott's lap in one chair, Ezra and Daisy on the love seat and Kat, Auggie and Juliet on the couch. They had been waiting for over 10 minutes for Peter and Sophie to make it to the lodge. And they weren't there yet.   
  
"Do you think their okay?" Juliet asked worriedly.  
  
"I think their fine." Kat said touching her arm. They probably got held up or something.  
  
"More importantly though," Shelby said. 'Where's Jordan. The little guys skipping group."  
  
"Any bets on what will be his punishment when Sophie and Peter find out?" Daisy asked.  
  
"I'm all for Shuns." Auggie said.  
  
"Me too." Said Juliet agreeingly.  
  
"I think kitchen duty, and restriction for a week." Shelby said.  
  
"Yeah, and no quest next week. He'll have to stay here." Daisy said added.  
  
"I agree with the first part" Ezra said. "But isn't not going on a quest a blessing?"  
  
"Not for Jordan it isn't." Kat said. "He loves them. I don't think Peter and Sophie are that cruel. I vote for Kitchen Duty and shuns all weekend."  
  
"I'm thinking a phone call to mommy and daddy dearest in Vermont, cause he missed lunch too. And ran out of the cabin." Scott said. "And then not having to go on the quest."  
  
"Oh, you're vicious today aren't you? Calls are a rare thing." Daisy said. "I don't think I've ever had one home. Not that mad dad would give a crap about what happened to me here. As long as I'm not there." She added bitterly. She hated her father so much, her mom to, but she couldn't take it out on her, she was dead  
  
"I thin we should send out a search party." Ezra said jokingly.  
  
"No need. Peter and Sophie are coming now." Kat said point to the entrance of the lodge from the dining hall.  
  
"Hey guys, sorry we're late." Sophie said as they both came over.  
  
"We got a little held up with the US mail." Peter said.  
  
"Oh no. It came already?" Shelby said jumping up and looking at her watch.  
  
"Yes why? Jill just stopped us. We had a lot of mail." Peter said.  
  
"I had a letter to mail." Shelby said putting her hand reflexively in her pocket. "And I wanted to mail it today. That's all." She said and sat back down.  
  
"Is it important? I think Jill is still here." Sophie asked, she and Peter still not realizing that Jordan wasn't there.  
  
"No." Shelby said when she and the others realized that Peter and Sophie didn't notice that Jordan wasn't there yet. "That's okay.'  
  
"Okay, lets get started then." Peter said almost sitting down.  
  
He looked over the group, something was missing. He had noticed it a few minutes ago. 'Scott, Shelby, Kat, Auggie, Ezra, Daisy, Juliet...'  
  
"Where is Jordan?" he asked.  
  
The group looked at each other. They would have laughed but they sensed Pete and Sophie were too serious.  
  
"WE don't know." Daisy said. "He wasn't here when we got here for group."  
  
"And he wasn't at lunch either. He ran out of the dorm before lunch. We thought we'd see him there but..." Scott started to explain, but Peter cut him off.  
  
"I knew this would happen." He said. "We need to find him."  
  
The group got up, ready to search. "He couldn't have gone far right?" Sophie said.  
  
Peter split the group up between Sophie and himself. Sophie got Kat, Daisy, Auggie, and Ezra, and Peter got Scott, Juliet, and Shelby. They went looking for him.   
  
SUPPLY SHED  
  
Jordan hid in the corner of the supply shed, behind some kayaks and covered with a tarp. He had his knees up to his chest and his hands wrapped around them and his head. He was good at hiding, at making himself small so no one could find him. It saved from getting a lot of beatings either because he hid long enough for Kendra and Jackson to think him smart enough to evade the beating for a while, or he hid enough so they would cool down and get drunk maybe and forget. But sometimes, it made the beatings worse when he was found, cause he had wasted their time finding him and they had something else to punish him for. But now, running seamed like a good idea.  
  
He breathed slowly and steadily, knowing if he breathed to hard you could be able to hear it. And he didn't want to be found right now. He was scared of what Peter and Sophie were going to do. His offenses were adding up, first the Journal entry that he wrote saying basically that he hated them, then the one he had ripped out, then skipping lunch, and skipping group. And then finally the biggest one, running. He hadn't run of school grounds which was a good thing, he had hid on campus but in the eyes of the rules of Horizon it was the same thing.   
  
He had been beginning to trust them. Let his guard down a little, a flaw he had just recently started to hate about himself. He had trusted Peter and Sophie a bit, and they had taken it away with the little camping incident. It was to close. They were to close to finding out about "it". And he couldn't let that happen, that's why he had stolen the file, burned the picture, done all he had done. To save his own butt.   
  
But it hurt to feel betrayed by them. He had actually thought they would keep their promises, unlike everyone else in his life, unlike Kendra or Jackson who promised not to hit him if he had been good and still did. Unlike his brother and Sister who had promised to love him and always be with him but had left him alone. Unlike his dad Matthew who had promised after he died that he'd give Jordan strength, well Jordan could have used some of that strength now. From the Social Workers who had promised to protect him, and the foster parents who had said he could stay with them, only to be kicked out and shipped back home. And from his grandparents that said once Hailey Jade and Dillion got settled they would send for him, he still hadn't received a call. He had trusted them all and they had all betrayed him.  
  
He had run because they were getting to close for him. And plus everyone seemed to be mad at him. The guys, Peter, Sophie, even Daisy and Shelby hadn't forgiven him for calling them freaks. It was easier this way. But it made Jordan more scared.  
  
He hugged his knees tighter. The door to the supply shed opened, he heard it creaking.  
  
"Jordan, You in here?" a voice said, he couldn't tell who's it was.  
  
He didn't answer. A surge of fear went through him. They were close. He had been missing almost 2 hours now.   
  
"Jordan, Please be in here." A voice that he thought was Sophie's said pleadingly.   
  
*****CHANGE IN VIEW POINT*****  
  
Sophie entered the Supply shed followed by Kat, Daisy, Auggie, and Ezra. It was the last place the cliffhangers hadn't looked on campus in the last hour. She hoped Jordan was in here.   
  
"Jordan, please be in here." She said, hoping if he were there he would come out.  
  
"Yo J, you in here?" Auggie said as he and Ezra went over and searched near the hiking supplies.  
  
"Please come out Jordan." She said beggingly.  
  
Sophie let out a very audible sigh. She banged her hand on the wooden wall. "Where the heck is he?" she said to herself.  
  
This was the first time since Sophie had joined the Horizon staff that a student had run away. And it made her feel bad since it was one of her own also. The cliffhangers were special to her heart.   
  
She started over towards the kayaks and canoes when she heard Peter's voice from outside.  
  
"Guys call it quits." Peter shouted from outside.   
  
The group met back at the totem pole. The easiest place to see the whole campus from, next to the climbing wall of course. They had been searching for almost 2 hours now. They had checked all the buildings, the Supply shed being the last building. No one had found anything.  
  
"Man, J's in trouble now." Auggie whispered to Scott.  
  
Scott nodded. "Yeah, to bad." He said sadly. He remembered when he ran away and they almost sent him back home. A place he didn't want to go.  
  
"I thought Jordan was smarter than to run away." Juliet said sadly.   
  
"He's been going through a lot lately Juliet." Sophie said trying to give an explanation.  
  
"I want to say I'm sorry about when I ran. I didn't think it was this much work." Scott said.  
  
"Maybe we should call Cliff and the rest of the sheriffs department." Sophie said.  
  
"No," Peter said. 'We'll wait until nightfall and then call them. And call Jordan's Parents. Maybe he'll come to his senses and be back by then."  
  
Peter looked over the cliffhangers. "Okay guys, why don't you all go back to the lodge and have some down time okay?"  
  
The group nodded solemnly and walked away. As they did Sophie sighed and Peter hugged her.  
  
BACK IN THE SUPPLY SHED  
  
Jordan still hid under the tarp. He hadn't moved. He looked at his watch- 6:30. He had been hiding for almost 3 hours. And he was really, really tired.  
  
"Maybe I'll just sleep for a minute." He said yawning. He hadn't slept much during his trip, and his nerves were making him tired. Eventually he fell asleep with his head on his knees.  
  
******DREAM*******  
  
Jordan sat with the other Cliffhangers. Scott had called a group session. Jordan thought it was just another excuse to see Shelby who had been on restriction. But when he saw the look on Scott's face he knew it wasn't true.  
  
"What's up Scott?" Daisy asked.  
  
Scott looked at Shelby, the Sophie, then finally at Peter, they all nodded to him. Jordan felt like an outsider. It was a cliffhanger thing and he was just a newbie.  
  
'I know you probably all wonder why I'm here sometimes right? Rich kid, who had it all. Money, good grades well not lately but..., Football talent, a scholarship lined up for it for college. Even a loving mom and dad. Why did he turn to drugs, and screw up his life right?" Scott asked.  
  
The group not realizing it, answered in their eyes. They had wondered sometimes.   
  
"You guys know Elaine right?" he asked.  
  
"That hot chica that came to parents day with your dad?" Auggie asked.  
  
Scott's cheeks got red, either from anger or embarrassment Jordan didn't know.  
"Yeah, my step mom." He said. "She's the problem."  
  
"What, she broke up your parents marriage?" Juliet asked innocently.  
  
"No..." Scott said. "Not exactly." He looked at the group, ashamed almost.  
  
Daisy was the first to pick up on this hidden message. "That... No Way Man.. That's so sick." She screamed.  
  
The group got the picture.  
  
"She didn't..." Ezra said. "Did she?"  
  
But Scott had to tell them himself. 'Yes, she made me have sex with her." He said to them, not trying to beat around the bush or anything. "All the time. And no one believed me until Peter and Sophie."  
  
'Dude that sick little..." Auggie said shutting his mouth when he saw Peter glaring at him.  
  
"Sorry Scott. I mean, yeah... We never knew. Sorry we talked about her and stuff." Ezra said awkwardly, though he meant it.  
  
'It's okay Ez. It's not your fault." Scott said. "I hardly admitted it myself."  
  
******* END DREAM *********  
  
Jordan awoke with a start. Something was jabbing into his side and it hurt. He looked and one of the ores was right next to him. He moved it over just a little. Jordan felt hungry. He hadn't eaten since around 11 that morning. Usually missing meals didn't bother him. He had missed quite a few in his life. For various punishments by his parents.  
  
He looked at his watch. It was almost 8. He wondered if he should go back. He wondered if he should run too, it's not like he hadn't done it before. Usually he ran away because of fear of something, or an endless fear. Usually from 'them' but they weren't at horizon. They were home.  
  
He heard a voice in his mind, one very, very familiar. He couldn't remember if it was from. Either words from his dad, the words of wisdom that his dad had to tell him at the very end when he was really sick, that Jordan even that young still remembered. It could have also been Officer Jennings, or maybe Max when he had run away one time.  
  
"If you can walk away and not look back, then maybe your doing the right thin."  
  
But could Jordan leave Horizon. He thought to himself.  
  
"No you idiot. Or else you wouldn't be here in this stupid supply shed." Jordan said to himself. "Your to big of a wuss, you've gotten to soft."  
  
Maybe he could try to go back. Just go near Peter and Sophie's office, see how mad they were an then run, or then go back. Whichever one he had the guts to do. He just hoped they hadn't called his parents yet.  
  
Jordan got up. It was almost dark already. There must have been a storm coming, because it was still early. Jordan realized that he was kind of cold.  
  
"Suck it up you wuss." He told himself, those had been words Jackson spoke to him when Jordan would cry after being hit.  
  
He looked over at the admissions building and surveyed the campus. No one was in site. He was safe for the time being. He walked quickly through the grass towards the administrations building. And then ducked under the big window that opened out from Peter and Sophie's office. The same window he had tried to break through to get his file.  
  
  
PETER AND SOPHIE'S OFFICE-   
  
Peter and Sophie sat across from each other in his office. Sophie on the couch with a cold rag on her head and Peter at his desk frantically looking for something.  
  
"What's wrong Peter?" Sophie asked.  
  
"Remember when I had to call the police back in Jordan's home town to inquire about the lack of his records?" Peter asked.  
  
"Yeah, so?" She said almost sighing, it was getting dark and they would have to call Jordan's parents soon, and the sheriffs department, something she didn't want to do.  
  
"Well when I was talking on the phone to Officer Radly, Jack Radly, While we were talking he said something that I basically overlooked when he said it but I remembered." Peter said and paused for a moment. "He said that though it was unusual that Jordan hadn't run yet, but that only meant that he might feel safe here now, and that he would run when he didn't feel safe.  
  
"Why didn't they tell us?" Sophie asked yelling. "Why didn't they freaking tell us the kid was a runner?"  
  
CHANGE OF VIEW  
  
Jordan sat crouched under the window of Peter and Sophie's office. They were talking about his "old buddy" Jake Radly. Jake was a cop at the police department, one that always ended up tracking down Jordan. Peter was talking about when he had called Jake earlier in the month. Jordan listened as he heard words Jake used over and over again.  
  
****FLASHBACK****  
  
Jordan sat across from Officer Radly in his office. Radly had caught Jordan running through the park. Jackson and Kendra had called the cops this time. It was just before Jordan had been sent away, the last time he had had the chance to run.  
  
Jake looked at the young teen. Though Jake knew the kid was 15 he didn't look much older than 12 or 13. He had a young look for his age. A look of almost innocence. The only thing that proved Jordan's real age, other than his birth certificate and other documents were his eyes. Jordan's eyes looked older, they had a lot behind them, Jake knew. He always tried to meet Jordan's eyes. But many times it didn't work. Only rarely did it happen.   
  
"Why this time Jordan?" Officer Radly asked.  
  
Jordan was looking at his shoes, and then the ceiling. Averting his eyes to look anywhere but the mans face, anywhere. Eye contact was dangerous.  
  
"Jordan, please, It's late, I'm tired, I want to go home." Radly said.  
  
Jordan slipped up and looked at Jake straight for a minute. He had seen Jake's family in pictures before. They were important to him. He was big on family. He had a wife and 4 kids, all of whom were still in elementary school. And Jordan was keeping him here, at work, away from them.  
  
"Sorry sir." Jordan mumbled almost incoherently.  
  
Jake looked at the teens face, he rarely saw it cause Jordan always avoided looking at him.  
  
"You know, my son had a soccer game today, and I had to miss it cause I was here?" Jake said.  
  
Jordan didn't know what to say, should he feel guilty, cause maybe he did. He was the reason that Jake was stuck in the office now, he felt kinda bad.  
  
"Sorry." Jordan said a bit more audible this time.   
  
"So, what happened this time Jordan?" Jake asked picking up a pen.  
  
*******END FLASHBACK *******  
  
Jordan was knocked abruptly out of his dream by the sounds of Sophie yelling.  
  
"Why didn't they tell us? Why didn't they freaking tell us the kid was a runner?"  
  
Jordan's body tensed up. He had never really heard Sophie yell before. She had yelled a couple of times to people messing around on campus. But never yelling like this, she sounded mad. And Jordan knew she was talking about him.  
  
He got scared. Really scared. He hated when people yelled at him. Peter had only done it once, when he had made Juliet cry during his first days here. But he hadn't since. That was one reason Jordan had stuck around for so long. But now... No way, they were sounding too much like Kendra and Jackson. He heard in Sophie's voice now what he heard in his mom's voice ever time she talked to him. That hate, that meanness, the coldness. And it scared him.  
  
He got up and started to run. He tried to be quiet but his fear was making him sloppy. He didn't take the precautions he usually would have. He skidded on the gravel and it was loud.  
  
CHANGE IN P.O.V.- Peter and Sophie's office.  
  
Peter calmed Sophie down a bit. As they went to get to the phone, they heard the sound of gravel and rocks skidding. They looked out the window, Peter saw a figure running, not far from the building.  
  
"Jordan." Peter yelled.  
  
The figure turned slightly and then turned back and ran even faster away.   
  
"God, he must have been under the window and heard me." Sophie said peering out the window just before her and Peter ran out of the building after him.  
  
  
OUTSIDE-  
  
Peter and Sophie ran as fast as they could after Jordan. They were almost behind him. Right near the end of the drive. That's when Peter's knee gave out and he fell to the ground. Sophie was ahead of him and heard the sickening thud of his body falling to the ground. It echoed in the silence of the woods.   
  
Peter held his knee. 'Why, Why now?' he asked himself. They were so close.  
  
Sophie turned around and met eyes with Peter. The figure, that is Jordan, turned around at the end of the road.  
  
Jordan looked back. Stopped in his tracks, he heard a sound all too familiar to him. What should he do? Frozen for a second he thought and then he ran.....  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.  
  
Hey, I know I know, but I had to do it. How sad, hopefully it will all be over soon, but I can't make any promises. Oh yeah, where do you think Jordan ran to? To Peter or away from him? What will happen with him now?  



	11. Memories-Pt.12

Memories- Part 12  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the original Higher Ground characters. I do own all others though, like Jordan and Jill, and Aubrey and all them. I also don't own any of John Grisham's books they're his, but he is one of my favorite authors!  
  
  
  
In this chapter- If I told ya about Jordan, I'd have to kill ya! Oh, on another note, the US mail does it's job very quickly in this chapter and we hear from Aubrey. And Scott gets bitten by the jealously buggy.  
  
Oh Yeah and I vowed never again to wait a month in between chapters so you should all be happy :) :)  
  
  
And we pick up where we left off in the last chapter...  
  
"Ow.." Peter thought as he fell to the ground. He looked up, Sophie was ahead of him and she came running back. "Oh God." He thought "Why now?"  
  
"Peter, are you okay?" Sophie asked running over to him.  
  
"I'm fine Soph, go after him." Peter said, his words staggered from the pain.  
  
  
Jordan looked back. Stopped in his tracks, he heard a sound all too familiar to him. What should he do? Frozen for a second he thought and then he ran.....  
  
"Oh Jeez." He thought. "Go back, " he told himself in the back of his mind. But another voice was saying "Run, run, run."  
  
He turned back again to look at Peter, to see how they were, and then to look if Sophie was going to come after him. She got up from Peter's side, they had been talking. In the dim light he saw Peter wince and hold his leg, Jordan got another dose of that guilty feeling he hated.  
  
He took a step towards them, just for a moment. Then he saw Sophie coming towards him. He tried to catch her face, register her emotion, but nothing showed up. He froze again, still deciding. He saw her coming closer, and he just couldn't do it.  
  
He turned around and ran away from them. "Sorry." He thought to himself, hoping they could hear it.  
  
He couldn't go back to them. Not with Sophie mad and Peter hurt. He couldn't face it. If he ran and he got sent home, he could handle the beatings, he had before. But he couldn't handle what was at Horizon. What ever was back there. He didn't know. His friends, if you could call them that, his teachers, they were good, Peter and Sophie? He just couldn't handle them being so close to knowing the truth about him. He couldn't handle feeling so safe without wondering what would happen next. The longer he stayed the worse it would be when he left.   
  
Jordan was running on pure fear and adrenaline, he knew he couldn't turn back now. They would punish him when he got back. And he knew that wouldn't be good. They'd call his parents, which would even be worse. He looked back to see if he could still see Sophie. He saw her running after him, catching up. So he ran faster, more carelessly. The muscles in his legs were beginning to ache. And it was not a pretty feeling. He was getting slower now.  
  
  
Sophie watched Jordan run, he was fast when he wanted to be. She couldn't believe he had actually ran away. He had looked like he was going to run towards them, but in a split moment he turned and ran. It had stunned Sophie and Peter. They had called for Roger and he should have been there by now. He would have parked near the drive and then ran.   
  
Finally she heard Roger coming. His speed was great, he used to be a football player. He was one of Horizon's best runners, even though he was almost 40. He was almost as good as Peter had been, and still was.  
  
"Hey Soph, where is he?" Roger asked as he came along side her.  
  
"Up there, near the bend." Sophie said to him pointing. "Where have you been?"  
  
"Sorry, I called for Anne Marie to bring Peter back to school and to the infirmary. Then I had to catch up with you."  
  
"What me to try and get him?" Roger asked.  
  
"If you can, he runs really fast." Sophie answered and then added sympathetically "Don't scare him."  
  
Roger took off, Jordan was a bit ahead but Roger used his speed to make up for it. He ran. As he got towards Jordan he grabbed his arm.  
  
"Let me go." Jordan screamed wiggling out of the hold. He ran forward a bit more.  
  
The next attempt was the one that worked. Roger grabbed Jordan by his waist and dragged the teen to the ground.   
  
"Let me go." Jordan said kicking at Roger. "Let me go." He screamed.  
  
'You've been caught.' Jordan thought to himself, 'might as well make it as bad for them as it is for you.'  
  
He kicked and punched and slapped all he could, at roger, at the air, at the ground. He wanted to go down fighting. "Let me go." He said scared. "Please let me go."  
  
Roger pinned Jordan to the ground after Jordan got a few good hits at him. Jordan was more vulnerable then ever.  
  
  
Jordan hated being pinned anywhere. On the ground, on the floor, against a wall. Every part of him was left vulnerable and there was no place he could run to or any way to shield himself. He was scared now, more than he had been when Roger had just had him on the groun, more than when he had caught him. It reminded him of some pretty bad times and he could not handle that right now either.  
  
******FLASH BACK*****  
  
Jackson had Jordan pinned against the door going into the living room. He lifted up his fist and punched Jordan in the face. Blood pouring from Jordan's nose and onto the white shirt he had been wearing to go to church that day.  
  
"You shouldn't have tried to sneak out Jordan." Jackson sneered.  
  
"You wouldn't have let me go." Jordan shot back unexpectedly.  
  
Jackson punched the teen in the stomach, knocking the air out of him.  
  
"You wanna say that again?" Jackson asked, raising his hand for another slap.  
  
"Please....let.....me....go" Jordan said gasping for the breath that had left him, and desperately wanting to hold his aching stomach.  
  
"No such luck buddy." Jackson said as he brought his hand down again.  
  
*****END FLASHBACK ******  
  
"Let me go... Let me go." Jordan screamed and begged over and over again. "Please, please, please, please, please let me go."  
  
Roger almost felt sorry for Jordan and almost let him go. But he didn't, he didn't want to risk him going anywhere again.  
  
"Please." Jordan cried. "Please let me go."  
  
But by the time Sophie had come, Roger had let Jordan go and Jordan had crawled into a ball. Now he could protect him self. But he seamed in worse shape now. He was crying and mumbling almost in coherently. He was terrified.  
  
"Let me go... Leave me alone, please, leave me alone." He cried. "Don't touch me. Let me go." He cried and was almost shaking.  
  
Sophie came closer to him, and tried to put her arm over his shoulder to comfort him. Bad idea!  
  
"Leave me alone." Jordan screamed and cowered away from her. "Please."  
  
And then it started raining. Sophie felt it first, the sprinkles. She knew it was supposed to rain.  
  
"Roger, go get the truck." She told him. Roger nodded his head and ran back where they were coming from.  
  
'Great, now what?' she thought to herself. 'What am I going to do about Jordan now?' she asked herself.   
  
"Come on Jordan." Sophie begged as it started to pour. "Get in the truck. Please!"  
  
Jordan over his mumbling couldn't hear her, and when he felt the hand on his shoulder he was startled. "Don't touch me." He cried shrinking away from her. He hoped she heard and would listen. But she didn't.  
  
"Jordan if you don't come in this truck right now, I will carry you to it." Sophie said impatiently. She was trying to be nice but she didn't know what to do.  
  
Jordan didn't want to go back. He kept telling all of them to leave him alone and he was crying. He didn't even notice the rain. He cried harder cause he was scared and was shaking more now. Sophie got worried.  
  
"Shhh Jordan, everything will be okay." She said as she bent down for a minute to look at him at his level almost. "Come on Jordan, please get in the jeep and you can dry off and out of the rain."  
  
Jordan made a feeble attempt to get up and Sophie had to help him. He was still crying a lot but something about her voice had made him get up. He didn't really know what it was.  
  
  
IN THE TRUCK (or jeep, whatever :) )....  
  
Jordan sat in the back seat, well actually laid there. Sophie and Roger were talking in the front. Jordan was still scared and still shaking, but now he was cold and tired to. He felt like whining almost, but he had already cried enough in front of them and he had to put a stop to it now.   
  
A nice memory came back to Jordan as they made their way slowly to Horizon, because of the rain. It was when he was little, about 5 or so, when his dad was better. They had gone hiking and it started raining. They made their way back to their cabin just as it started to pour really hard. That's when Jordan was still scared of lighting. He wasn't anymore, there were worse things to be scared of now. But Jordan whined about how he was cold, and Matthew made him hot cider and they snuggled up together on the couch. It was one of the last times they had gone hiking together before Matthew died.   
  
But the memory was gone and the fear back by the time they reached Horizon. Roger and Sophie got out. They were coming back to get Jordan and as Sophie reached for him he froze......  
  
  
  
INSIDE THE LODGE...  
  
The cliffhangers were now with Peter who had gone to the infirmary and gotten crutches. Though still in pain he knew he would have to deal with it, cause last time he took pain meds he had had a relapse to his drug abusing days. And he would NOT let that happen again.   
  
He sat on the couch with his leg on the table. He wanted to tell the Cliffhangers that Jordan had been found. He though they had the right to know, they had helped search for him anyway.   
  
"What happened Peter?" Juliet asked.  
  
"I fell going after Jordan, I'm fine though, just a bit of pain." He said and then winced as he tried to move his leg.  
  
"You okay?" Auggie asked.  
  
"Yeah, I just can't move it." Peter said.  
  
The group nodded. "So did you find him?" Scott asked concerned.  
  
"Yeah we did, he just got back with Sophie and Roger." Peter said.  
  
"Is he okay?" Scott asked again.  
  
"Physically yes, but I don't know about anything else." Peter said.  
  
"What are you going to do about him?" Daisy asked.  
  
"We don't know yet." Peter said solemnly and tiredly. "I need to talk to Sophie and Frank about it. Maybe we can pull a few strings here and there and let him stay. We want to know why he ran first."  
  
"I never thought he'd actually have the guts to do it." Shelby said bitterly.   
  
"He's been acting loco lately though." Auggie said.  
  
"Yeah majorly wacked." Ezra said. "He tried to start a fight with Auggie and Scott today, before he ran."  
  
"What is going to happen to him?" Juliet asked concerned, she really liked Jordan.  
  
"We don't know yet. Now it's getting late guys, so I want you to go to your dorms. We'll hold group tomorrow." Peter said.  
  
The group said goodnight to him and went away. Peter got up on the crutches and started hobbling the way to his office.  
  
  
  
PETERS OFFICE- 9:00 p.m.  
  
Peter, Sophie and Frank sat tensely in Peters office. Sophie and Frank drinking coffee, and Peter drinking tea, the caffeine doing nothing to calm their nerves.  
  
"Where is Jordan now?" Frank asked as he sank deeper into the chair he was sitting at.  
  
"He's with Anne Marie in the Infirmary, we wanted to keep him under supervision and he looked like he might be going into shock." Sophie answered.  
  
"Have you gotten a hold of his parents?" Frank asked.  
  
"Nope, not yet. It's past midnight in Vermont. They're asleep." Peter replied.  
  
"Okay. Will you call them first thing in the morning?" Frank asked insistently.  
  
"Yes, we will Frank." Sophie said.  
  
"What will you do with him tonight?"   
  
"I believe the best thing to do is to do what we do to kids on suicide watch. Keep him in the lodge with someone to look over him. Sophie and I will do it. I don't want the cliffhangers or anyone burdened with it right now, so late." Peter said.  
  
"Okay," Frank said. "Now the rules at Horizon are simple Peter, if a kid runs he gets sent back home. Are you going to be okay with that?" Frank said, trying to bend the rules himself.  
  
"We'll see Frank, We'll see." Peter said sipping his tea, deep in though.  
  
"What are you thinking of Peter?" Frank asked, "I know you to well old friend, I know when you have a feeling about something. You've taken a liking to this kid. I can tell."   
  
Peter sighed and breathed deeply. He tried to sit up and grabbed his knee in pain.   
"I can't put my finger on it exactly but some things up."  
  
Frank looked at Peter and Sophie with questioning look on his face.  
  
  
GUYS DORM ROOM  
  
Auggie, Scott, and Ezra sat on their beds. They looked at Jordan's empty bunk and felt guilty.   
  
"Think we should talk to Peter?" Ezra asked.  
  
"Tomorrow." Scott said. We'll tell them everything tomorrow." He emphasized while yawning.  
  
The two nodded in agreement. They were all tired.  
  
  
  
THE LODGE-   
  
Peter and Sophie sat on chairs and waited for Jordan to come back, he had gone to change. They were all tired, but before Jordan went to sleep there were some things that needed to be said. Important things.   
  
Jordan walked into the main room of the lodge. He wanted to avoid them, but he knew Peter and Sophie were going to be there all night. It was like a nightmare he couldn't will himself to wake up from. It just stayed put, and played on and on. All he could do was sit there and pretend to listen to them.  
  
"Sit down Jordan, we need to talk." Peter said as soon as Jordan got into ear shot.  
  
Jordan slipped to the couch quietly. He sat there across from them looking at the floor.  
  
"Jordan, look at me." Peter said when he saw Jordan looking at the floor.  
  
Jordan let his eyes raise slightly. "Sorry about your leg." He said softly. "I didn't mean too..." he said until Peter cut him off.  
  
"You know what the punishment for running away is Jordan?" Peter asked him.  
  
The word made him cringe, but he made sure it wasn't a visible cringe that Peter and Sophie would see, that would mean more questions.  
  
"Usually when a student runs away we call there parents and they get sent home." He said stressing the words call parents and sent home. "Now I know that you like it here..."  
  
Jordan for the effect let out a sarcastic laugh.   
  
This got Peter a little mad. "You know what Jordan," Peter said loudly, getting Jordan's attention.  
  
Something in Peter's voice made him look up quickly, trying to see Peter's eyes for a feeling he would recognize. He hadn't heard Peter use it before, and what he saw in Peter's eyes wasn't registering in his mind either. He looked down as quickly as he looked up.  
  
"I am laying my butt on the line to save yours." Peter said. "I'm trying to keep you here, you've been making some progress lately, minus this slip up. And I want you to stay here."  
  
Peter didn't know what reaction he had been looking for in Jordan but Jordan seamed unemotional to it. And that was scaring Peter, he knew Jordan was slipping back inside himself like he had done before. The lack of emotion that had scared him and Sophie was back now. And it was worse given the current standings.  
  
"Come on guys, it's late. Jordan why don't you go to sleep now."  
  
"Yes ma'am." Jordan mumbled.  
  
"Just one thing before you go to sleep Jordan. If you don't want to stay here, to fight for you to stay here, tell me so I can call it off now." Peter said, the same thing in his voice that he had had before.  
  
Jordan just nodded, to show he heard. He was to tired to argue, and to tired to answer. As soon as Sophie had said sleep he was ready to do it. He rolled over and put a pillow over his head.  
  
  
Sophie had the first shift from 10-2. She wasn't very tired and knew Peter needed the sleep more then her. At least when he was asleep his knee wouldn't hurt him. It was11:30 and Peter was asleep on the loveseat. Sophie heard his light snoring and laughed.  
  
Sophie turned her attention to the book she was reading, John Grisham's- "The Client". She had nothing else to do, and plus the reading lamp next to her didn't get off much light.  
  
She sat for a moment listening to the stillness, it was very soothing. She found herself almost forgetting what had happened today. She wished it had all been a dream, so she could look back and forget it ever happened. But she couldn't, and she dreaded tomorrow even more.  
  
Sophie looked at her watch. She wasn't tired, she just wanted to...to...to escape the reality of the situation. The reality was if they didn't have a break in Jordan's "case", if you would call it that, then he would have to be sent home. Just one little thing, she knew and Peter would be able to convince Frank to let him stay at Horizon. She wanted it desperately.  
  
"God, please just let something happen. Please." She whispered then went back to reading.  
  
  
  
2:00  
  
Sophie had woken Peter up. They switched places and Peter sat in the chair. He wasn't tired anymore, but his knee hurt a lot! Sophie yawned and then laid down in the love seat. She looked at Peter, now she was over tired and knew that there was no way she was going to be able to fall asleep now.   
  
"Try to sleep Soph." Peter said.  



	12. Memories-Pt. 12 1/2

Memories- Part. 12 1/2 (the continuation after 2:00)  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any origional Higher ground characters but I do own all the new ones Like Jordan Thomas, his mom and stepdad Kendra and Jackson, his brother Dillion, sister Hailey Jade, and all others pertaining to his life. I also own Jill Trinity the mail lady  
  
Okay so my comp screwed up and this really should go at the end of the chapter 12. It goes with it and that is why when chapter 13 is done it starts the way it does. So here is the rest of ch. 12.... Don't know how that happened!  
  
  
2:00   
  
Sophie had woken Peter up. They switched places and Peter sat in the chair. He wasn't tired anymore, but his knee hurt a lot! Sophie yawned and then laid down in the love seat. She looked at Peter, now she was over tired and knew that there was no way she was going to be able to fall asleep now.   
  
"Try to sleep Soph." Peter said.  
  
"Look how sweet he looks." Sophie said to Peter. Jordan had just moved over and was facing them,  
  
"It's when they're awake that they cause trouble!" Peter said laughing.  
  
Sophie felt a twinge of saddness and guilt. She knew Peter wanted to have kids so badly. But she couldn't have them. And she wanted to give them to peter. But she could not.  
  
"I love you Sophie." Peter said to her as she yawned.  
  
"I love you too Peter." She said happily.  
  
"Now go to sleep." He said throwing one of the pillows at her.  
  
Sophie put her head on the pillow and soon was asleep.  
  
  
5:30  
  
Peter and Sophie watched Jordan sleep. It was 5:30. The time they had both planned on watching him. The sun was not up yet and was still pitch black outside. Jordan slept peacefully, or so they thought.  
  
  
*******DREAM********  
  
Jordan stepped off the school bus. It had been a normal day, and he was actually happy. That was until he got home and saw both cars in the driveway. That meant big trouble. He took a deep breath at the bus stop. Trying to brace himself for what was ahead.   
  
He looked at his watch- 4:30. He had stayed over to help with the elementary school play, but he knew his parents wouldn't buy that excuse. He tried to guess their time of arrival home. If they had gotten a call from school it would have been around one, if they had met for lunch and then never went back that would bring the time back to noon, or earlier even. Either way they were more then likely drunk by now.   
  
He went through the back door, towards the back stairs, hoping to be able to sneak up them without a problem, without them seeing him. But Jordan's luck was against him, like it always seamed to be when it came to being at home. His mom and Jackson were both in the kitchen (which was right next to the stairs).  
  
"Trying to sneak away, like you aren't guilty of anything Jordan?" Jackson said snidely.   
  
Jordan knew better than to just continue up the stairs, he retraced his steps to face them at the bottom. "No sir." He said timidly, still trying to keep a distance away from them.  
  
"We got another call from Mrs. Johnson today." Kendra said to him, coming closer.  
  
Mrs. Johnson was one of Jordan's ex-friends mothers, Luke's mom to be more specific. He had Luke had had a fight a couple of weeks ago, when Jordan came to school with a black eye and Luke wouldn't leave him alone about it. He eventually got in a fight with Luke that ended in punches being thrown mainly (mainly at Jordan cause he didn't want to hurt Luke). But Mrs. Johnson called to tell Kendra and Jackson of the fight and Jordan was punished. But a couple of days ago Luke was acting up and he and Jordan had gotten in another fight.  
  
"She said you and Luke had another fight." Kendra said. "What did we tell you about fighting Jordan?" she yelled at him coming closer.  
  
"That it's wrong" he whispered.  
  
"Right and?"  
  
"That people who fight are bad and need to be punished." He said solemnly.  
  
"That's right, seams like your on a role," Kendra said sarcastically.  
  
Jordan backed up. "Don't you think it's redundant to punish hitting by hitting?" he mumbled to himself not thinking they would hear but they did. He realized that with a sharp smack in the face by his mom. Jackson was to far away at the moment to hit him.  
  
"Don't you ever tell us what to do." She yelled hitting him and then punching him.  
  
"Sorry." He said as she was on top of him. His eyes were burning from his face stinging.  
  
"Aw, look the poor baby's crying." Kendra said mockingly. "Don't cry." She said punching him in the eye.  
  
Jordan stumbled backwards onto the kitchen table, knocking over the bottles of raspberry Merlot and hard scotch that his parents had been drinking onto the floor. Breaking the bottles and spilling the contents all over the floor.  
  
As soon as Jordan saw what he did he panicked. Jackson was furious, they were his bottles anyway.  
  
"Sorry, sorry Jackson." He said bending down to pick up the shards of class. "Sorry."  
  
Jackson came and picked him up by the collar.  
  
"Please Jackson, I'm sorry. Please don't." He begged.  
  
He could smell the liquor all over Jackson. And it made him sick to his stomach.  
  
"Please, Jackson I'm sorry, Please don't hurt me." He cried.  
  
"To late for apologies, do you know how much you cost me?" He yelled in Jordan's ear before throwing Jordan hard onto the ground. Jordan hit the tile withforce and the glass went into his skin.   
  
"Please, don't hurt me Jackson, Stop please." He begged.  
  
  
*******END DREAM ***********  
  
  
BACK IN THE LODGE-  
  
Peter and Sophie sat, it was peaceful in the room. That was until Jordan started moving all over the couch. The blankets were tangled around him now.  
  
"Please, I'm sorry." Jordan moaned. "mmmuh....mmmuh." he moaned as if in pain.  
  
"Please....mmmuh, don't hurt me, please...." The moaning continued.  
  
"What do you think he's dreaming about?" Sophie whispered.  
  
"I don't know." Peter answered.  
  
"mmmuh... mmmuh." Jordan whined more.  
  
"We should wake him up." Sophie said going over and shaking Jordan's shoulder.  
  
Jordan semi woke up. "Nooo." He whined. As he felt a hand on him.. "Please, Jackson, Mom no.... don't please." He cried.  
  
"Jordan it's us, Peter and Sophie." Sophie said.  
  
The words hit Jordan like a ton of bricks. Had they heard him. He opened his eyes. Their faces said that he had.  
  
"Are you okay Jordan?" Sophie asked.  
  
"What was your dream about Jordan?" Peter asked.  
  
"It was just a dream." Jordan said. 'yeah one that could just like destroy you, good going stupid.' He thought to himself.  
  
"Are you sure your okay?" Sophie asked...  
  
Jordan looked at her for a minute. "I.... I need to go to the bathroom." Jordan said not answering Sophie and Peter's questions directly. He felt sick.  
  
"Sure go ahead." Sophie said letting him up.  
  
Jordan got up and ran the way to the bathroom.  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.  



	13. Memories- Part 13

Memories- Part 13  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the original Higher ground Characters but I do own all the new ones. I own Jordan Thomas and all his relations. Also His best friend Jamie. I also own Aubrey, Shelby's friend, and Jill Trinity, the mail lady.  
  
In this chapter- What will happen after Jordan's slip up? Will they find out? Will he get sent home? And what about Shelby's letter that I had to leave out in the last chapter? Will her answer back from Aubrey be a good one?  
  
  
"I.... I need to go to the bathroom." Jordan said not answering Sophie and Peter's questions directly. He felt sick.  
  
"Sure go ahead." Sophie said letting him up.  
  
Jordan got up and ran the way to the bathroom.  
  
  
BATHROOM- LODGE-5:45 a.m.  
  
Jordan locked the door behind him as he hurried into the bathroom. He sank down in front of it, breathing hard. He felt like throwing up. Trying to make it to a stall quickly he kneeled in front of it gagging and breathing hard.  
  
"You messed up big time. No one can save you now." He thought to himself. 'Not that they ever could have anyway. You blew it."  
  
"Now there's going to be too many questions. They're nosey anyway and you just gave those vultures something new to nibble on. Good Going moron." He told himself.  
  
He placed his head against the cool porcelain toilet. He felt terrible. He tried counting to 10 but only made it to 4 before he threw up.   
  
  
MAIN ROOM OF LODGE- 6:00 a.m.  
  
Peter looked at Sophie as they sat on the couch. Jordan had been gone for quite a while now. And Peter was wondering if something was wrong.  
  
"I'll go check on him." Sophie said sensing Peter's questioning.   
  
Sophie got up and walked over to the bathroom, and knocked on the door.  
  
"Jordan are you okay?" she asked.  
  
  
BATHROOM  
  
Jordan heard the knock on the door between another wave of nausea.   
  
"Jordan are you okay?" he heard the voice of Sophie from the other side.  
  
He raised his head. "Yeah sure." He yelled trying to sound convincing. "I'll be right out."   
  
Sophie must have taken that as an answer because he didn't hear anymore from her.  
  
Finally the nausea passed and Jordan made his way to the sink. Splashing cold water onto his face he looked up in the mirror. He looked awful. His face and eyes now puffy. He willed the puffiness away to keep away more of the unwanted questions. Questions he couldn't answer, and didn't want to answer. He looked awful, the nights of little sleep and lots of worry were catching up with him. His eyes had bags underthem now and it reminded him of all the times he had his nose broken and he got the black rings under his eyes.  
  
"Shape up Jordan." He said sternly to himself. "You look like crap."  
  
'I feel like it too.' Jordan thought to himself.. He splashed more water on his face, turned off the sink and went out of the bathroom  
  
LODGE  
  
Peter and Sophie sat again waiting for Jordan. Peter looked at his watch, it was a little after six now, that meant it was almost 9 in Vermont. He would have to call Jordan's parents soon.  
  
Finally Jordan came in. "Sit down Jordan." Peter said to him.  
  
Jordan immediately obeyed, knowing he couldn't get in trouble anymore.  
  
"Jordan, it's almost 9 in Vermont. We need to call your parents soon." Peter said, "Do you understand?"  
  
Jordan sat looking at the floor, on one particular spot where 2 tiles didn't match correctly. Anything to help him go inside himself and become numb, a skill he had lost momentarily earlier. "Yes sir." He said solemnly.  
  
"Is there anything you would like us to tell them?" Peter asked.  
  
Jordan knew there was nothing he could do that would help him get out of this hole. He didn't say anything just looked at that spot on the floor and concentrated on it.  
  
"Okay then, We'll be right back." Peter and Sophie said going to a phone at the side of the lodge.  
  
Jordan watched them with a tight knot in his stomach. He could only imagine what they were saying to each other. Probably about punishment, about being sent home. Not that any of that mattered anymore he knew it was coming. He was just in survival mode now. Doing whatever he had to to survive, he's grovel at their feet, he's beg them to let him stay, he'd plead with his parents just for one bit of a leniency on punishment. He had done it before, he'd do it again. He wasn't afraid of the begging, he was afraid of the beatings to follow, and if begging helped he'd do it. He'd pretend for them, pretend it didn't matter, and maybe it really didn't. Maybe he just had the notion that he was safe here, and it had been so long since he had been safe. So, so long...  
  
*****FLASHBACK******  
  
Young Jordan snuggled up with his father on the couch. Jordan had a cold and had had to come home from school sick.  
  
"Daddy, I don't feel good." Young Jordan whined.  
  
"Shhhhh." Matthew whispered to his son, brushing his hair off his forehead, "I'm here, I'll make you fell better." He said as Jordan laid his head on his chest.  
  
"Daddy, I love you." Jordan said yawning and snuggling more into the warm safety of his dad.  
  
"I love you to Jordan." Matthew said covering Jordan with a blanket.  
  
"Will mommy be mad at me for missing kindergarten today?" Jordan asked worried, shivering.  
  
Matthew put his arm closer over Jordan, hoping his son would be safe when he was gone, Kendra had already hit him a couple of times. Who would be there to protect his children when he was gone, would it be Jordan? But jordan was so young, to young to be the man of the house. Matthew knew, but he was so sick now, how could he leave them all so soon. How could he leave Jordan.  
  
"Don't you worry about that Jordan," Matthew said kissing his son. "Your safe as long as I'm hear..."  
  
****END OF FLASHBACK*****  
  
Jordan snapped out of the quick look into the past as he saw Peter waiting to talk on the phone. That meant that his mom was getting Jackson on the phone. He hoped that they weren't drunk as the phone call came in. And it was still the weekend. They had probably gone out last night, and Jordan prayed to God they were sober. Though the chances were high that they weren't.  
  
"Yes Mrs. Thomas, we understand....Yes, we'll tell him..." He heard Peter say. "Thank you, have a nice day." Peter said as he hung up.  
  
Jordan took a deep breath and swallowed hard as Peter and Sophie started walking back.  
  
"Jordan we talked to your parents." Sophie said as they went and sat across from him.  
  
Jordan looked at her for a moment, at her face and his for an indication. But he already knew the answer. They were coming. He looked at the floor concentration at the same spot as last time, at the messed up tiles. He nodded his head to show he had heard her.  
  
"They were a bit upset with you Jordan, running and all they said that they thought you were over that." Peter said.  
  
'Yeah sure, a bit upset is an understatement.' He thought to himself cynically, feeling the knot in his stomach constrict more.  
  
"They said that they thought the best thing for you would be for them to take a visit here and see you. To access the situation." Sophie said.  
  
Jordan winced. They visit him? Why don't they just put more salt in the wounds. They would be extra mad for having Jordan 'Trouble their lives' a little bit more. Coming hear would be a distraction. And they would be driving all the way across country. He remembered how mad they had been when they were bringing him here.  
  
****FLASHBACK*****  
  
"Get out of bed. NOW" Jordan heard Kendra screaming in his ear. She grabbed him by his shoulders and pushed him hard onto the floor. Then grabbed his hair and pulled him up to face her eyes.  
  
"Not only do we have to pay good money for you to go to this school. We have to drive across the country to get you there." She said smacking him and whipping him onto the bed by his hair. "Now get dressed" she said throwing some clothes at him, including a boot that almost hit his face.  
  
"Yes ma'am." He said softly, as he was pulling on the jeans he had been given.  
  
"Hurry up." She said smacking him again. "NOW! We're leaving in 5 minutes." She said and walked out of the room. Jordan changed as fast as he could and grabbed his stuff to go.  
  
When he got down the stairs Jackson was waiting for him. "You big screw up." Jordan said grabbing him by the collar and throwing him against a counter before Jordan even cleared the last step. "You don't even deserve to be going to this school. But you are." He said. "And you better be good or you are going to pay, got it?" Jackson said punching him at every other word.  
  
"Ye...Yes sir." Jordan gasped in pain.  
  
"Good now lets go." He said releasing Jordan after another slam.  
  
Jordan reluctantly followed them as fast as he could with the pain.  
  
****** END FLASHBACK ******  
  
Jordan didn't speak, he had found his walls again, he needed to. THEY were COMING now! And panic and fear made him such now. He was glad, he felt nothing of what Peter and Sophie could say anymore. He just wanted to be alone. But he couldn't be.  
  
"Okay Jordan, now why don't you go and get ready for breakfast okay? Peter will take you to the dorms so you can get some clothes. The guys were worried about you too." Sophie said.  
  
Jordan got up still not saying anything. He followed Peter out of the room  
  
CLIFFHANGERS GUYSDORM  
  
Scott, Ezra, and Auggie looked at Jordan's empty bed. They felt a little sad and guilty, hoping he was okay, and wondering if there was anything they could have done so that he wouldn't have ran away. While deep in their thoughts they heard a knock on the door.  
  
Peter and Jordan walked in.  
  
"Hey J. You're back Bro." Auggie said.  
  
"The fugitive has returned." Ezra said jokingly.  
  
"Don't you ever make me take time out of my football practice looking for you again." Scott said again jokingly slapping Jordan on the back.  
  
Hi." Jordan just said and went over to his bunk, not even looking at them.  
  
"I'll leave you guys alone for a minute," Peter said walking outside.  
  
The guys waited until Peter was out of the room. Scott was the first one to talk to Jordan.  
  
"Don't go blowing us off Jordan." Scott said a hint of anger in his voice. "We'll put the past behind us. You had a lot on your mind yesterday man, but that's no way to treat us bad."  
  
"Yeah J. That ain't fitting in with us bro. We are trying to accept you here. We're saying we're sorry. We just don't want you taking it out on us whenever something's screwed up in your life." Auggie said.  
  
"Yeah ours are screwed up enough as it is." Ezra said.  
  
Jordan just stood there at his drawers pulling out clothes. "You think I'm treating you guys bad? I'm sorry okay, but believe me I've seen people being treated a lot worse." He said finally.   
  
The guys looked at him. "What do you mean?" Scott asked him softy, in that voice that Shelby had asked in when she had wanted him to say something about the skank.  
  
"Why should I tell you what you mean, you'll blab it to Peter and Sophie." Jordan said.  
  
"Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how juicy it is." Scott said laughing.  
  
Jordan turned back to getting clothes and he slipped on a pair of pants over his boxers. "My dad died of cancer when I was 6. I watched him go from the strong man that used to read me stories and give me piggy back rides to being a skinny man that could hardly breath on his own to being in a casket being lowered into the ground." He said to them angrily. "He didn't deserve that, and I had to watch it happen. Guess how that felt." He said. "Bros." He added bitterly.  
  
"And now mommy and daddy dearest are coming to pay sweet little me a visit in a couple of days."  
  
They guys looked at him astonished. They knew the last part wasn't meant for their ears but they had heard it.  
  
"Sorry man, that's gotta suck." Scott said finally. "I remember what it was like the first time the skank came back."  
  
"Whatever dude, don't compare your problems to mine, I didn't get screwed by my step mom. You don't know anything about my problems okay. So please, please, do me a favor and don't say anything like that. It's not the same." Jordan said not looking at Scott or the others. 'Please, don't say anything' Jordan willed them in his mind.  
  
"Your right it's not the same but something happened to you to, and sooner or later someone is going to find out what." Scott said to him as the guys went to leave him alone.  
  
Jordan sat on his bed, his head between his legs. Taking a deep breath. Finding his cool place, he needed to talk to someone.... He needed Jamie.... She'd know how to cheer him up. She said he could call her... Or e-mail her or whatever. Maybe he should.  
  
He'd asked Peter about e-mail before and peter said he could if it were only from Jamie and his family. He had told that to Jamie and Jamie had e-mailed him before. Maybe she would now, she had to have heard from his parents by now. But that meant begging for permission after what he had done. But begging didn't matter anymore. He decided that he would.  
  
  
LATER ON- (group session without Jordan)  
  
The rest of the cliffhangers called an emergency meeting without Jordan after breakfast. Jordan was off trying to negotiate computer privileges.  
  
"Peter can we talk about just Jordan for this group?" Kat asked.  
  
"Sure Kat, that's what you called it for isn't it?" Peter asked.  
  
The group nodded their heads.   
  
"Peter, you said when I came here that a major rule was no telling unless you think someone was going to hurt themselves or others right?" Scott asked.  
  
"Yes Scott. I believe you know what you should tell or not."  
  
"What if it's about us thinking of someone hurting someone else?" he asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" Peter asked, thinking he sensed the real meaning but wasn't sure.  
  
"What if we think that someone's parents had hurt them or something like that, should we tell?" Juliet asked, being the innocent one, they had put her up to it.  
  
"Go on," Peter said.  
  
"What if we thought that someone was hurting Jordan, so he wouldn't have to go home then right?" Scott asked.  
  
"It depends, you need to have evidence to back up your claims guys." Peter asked seriously. "Without that you'd have no case, remember Scott, Shelby, you needed evidence in your cases too."  
  
"Um... Do dreams count?" Ezra asked, looking at the guys before he said it.  
  
"What do you mean dreams, Ezra?"  
  
"Jordan's been having nightmares Peter, Like I did before I told." Scott said.  
  
Peter nodded for him to go on.  
  
"But they're... they're different some how." Scott said. "Like something more... I don't know, more violent. Like he'll move around and whine and moan and he's so loud." Scott said, hoping he hadn't betrayed Jordan's trust.  
  
"And he tried to start a fight with us yesterday, before he ran." Auggie said.  
  
"Yeah and he has the weirdest mood swings." Shelby said. "Worse than me."  
  
The group laughed at that after Shelby said that. But the mood soon turned serious again.  
  
"Did you know about his dad Peter?" Ezra asked. The girls looked blankly at Ezra while the guys looked at peter with eyes sharply.  
  
Peter cleared his throat. "Yes, I knew that his father had died."  
  
"Did you know how?" Scott asked.  
  
"Yes, of cancer when Jordan was 6."  
  
"He watched his dad die." Auggie said. "He told us about him when he said that we didn't know what being treated bad was like."  
  
"But we don't think he meant just that Peter, that's why we wanted to talk to you."  
  
"Well then, what do you think Jordan meant?" Peter asked.  
  
"We think....We think..." Auggie began but started chickening out.  
  
"We think that Jordan's the one being treated bad. We think his parents like hurt him." Ezra said.  
  
"No like that Skank did me, with the sex because Jordan said that wasn't it in the dreams, and he was sincere about that unlike I had been when I denied it. We think they like beat him up and stuff."  
  
No one spoke for a while. The looked at each other, it was the thing they all had on their minds, they had seen it before, they knew the signs but it wasn't just another horizon student it was one of their own. Except for Daisy no one had ever suffered physical abuse before, it was always something else. And Daisy was still on the boarder, having hit her father before he had hit her. They didn't know what to do, they'd never felt like that before, having their parents hit them, they knew other things, about harsh words, about sex and rape and incest, about drugs and gangs, but never about hitting and punching and beatings. They didn't know. They couldn't know. And they knew that when he had said all those times 'You don't understand' and 'You haven't been through it' he was right. And they felt hopeless.  
  
Finally Daisy spoke up. "What should we do? Want me to talk to him or something?"  
  
"I don't think confrontation singularly is the best." Peter said. "Maybe the group should together, before his parents come."  
  
  
IN THE ADMINISTRATION BUILDING  
  
By the graces of the Gods Frank had let Jordan use the computer to see if he had gotten mail from Jamie. As he signed in and typed in his password he hoped that he had gotten some from her. She had promised to write. And when he got there was a message from her...  
  
"Dear Jordan,  
  
Hi! I just wanted to talk to you. I heard you ran way. What are you hiding Jordan? I wish you could tell me. I know there is something you aren't, something you're keeping secret from me. And I don't like it. How come you can't trust me.   
I have always Told you everything Jordan. Everything. From the time Mom said she was having Rylan, to the time when I had a crush on Luke Diaz, to the time I told you that I knew Lucky was dying before anyone told me he was. I have never kept a single thing hidden from you. But I know that what your hiding must be the biggest secret that you have, or you would have told me. And you can't tell it to me, why?!?!? I want to know what makes you sad Jordan. What made you cry when I last saw you. Why you haven't been to a mass for your dad in 3 years." "  
  
*******FLASHBACK*******  
  
June 25...  
  
Jordan crept quietly down the stairs, he was 12 now. Dressed in Black pants and a white shirt to go to church with. He always went to church on the anniversary of his fathers death. He had almost made it to the back door when Jackson came into the kitchen.   
  
"Where are you going?" Jackson asked furiously, and Jordan knew that for once he was really sober, but non the less scary.  
  
"To..." Jordan started. "Out." He decided would be the best answer.  
  
"You were going to that church weren;t you?" Jackson asked as he pinned Jordan against the door going into the living room. "You were going for you daddy weren't you? Huh, poor baby, lay a little flower on daddy's grave and say good bye." Jackson laughed mockingly.  
  
"Well let me tell you something, Your little dad died, he's never coming back, he left you. I'm your father now." He said and lifted up his fist and punched Jordan in the face. Blood pouring from Jordan's nose and onto the white shirt he had been wearing to go to church that day. "And don't forget that."  
  
"You shouldn't have tried to sneak out Jordan." Jackson sneered.  
  
"You wouldn't have let me go." Jordan shot back unexpectedly.  
  
Jackson punched the teen in the stomach, knocking the air out of him.  
  
"You wanna say that again?" Jackson asked, raising his hand for another slap.  
  
"Please....let.....me....go" Jordan said gasping for the breath that had left him, and desperately wanting to hold his aching stomach.  
  
"No such luck buddy." Jackson said as he brought his hand down again. Jordan winced as the blows came, once, twice, soon he lost count, until his once white shirt was speckled all red.  
  
************ END FLASHBACK***********  
  
'And she wonders why I don't go to church anymore.' Jordan thought to himself. 'That was the night I got my nose broken and had to miss a week of school till the bruises went away enough to show my face again'  
  
He kept reading:  
  
"I want to know why you can't look me in the eye and tell me anything anymore. What happened? Jordan I know you too well. You might think that Your tough and your cold and all that mocho junk that guys like to think they are. But I know your not.  
I have ideas what it is. But I don't like to say them. I don't like to admit that they might be true. That they really are true. And If it's what I don't want to believe, what none of my family wants to, though we all think it one time or another, you should, no NEED, tell the people at that School. Or tell someone.  
I wish you could tell me. I'm scared for you Jordan. I've seen you, the bruises you try to explain to me, the ones that I knew you were avoiding me because of. The ones you had no excuses for. Do you even understand that it's wrong Jordan? You don't deserve that, what they do to you. I don't want you hurt but you won't let me do anything for you.   
Do you know how many times I sat up at night looking out my window over to your house hoping and praying you were okay. All those times that I was home and I saw those cop cars coming over. Why Jordan? Why were they there? Answer me. GOD why can't you just say it. I know it's true, they hit you Jordan. Please please trust me. I love you so much. So so so much. Well I guess that's all I wanted to say. Please take my words to heart Jordan.   
  
I love you,   
Jamie."  
  
Tears were coming to Jordan's eyes but he furiously wiped them away. He was hurting her. He had tried to keep it a secret from her, but in his heart he knew she knew. But could he bring himself to tell her what she already knew? What was the point. And all that stuff about not telling, about not trusting her, he remembered so clearly that day when he decided for good he couldn't tell her, that he couldn't bare to tell her.  
  
***********FLASHBACK****************  
  
"Ouch, Crap." 13 year old Jordan said wincing in pain as he pealed his t-shirt from his badly beaten up back. They had gotten mad at their jobs or something and had gone after him again. He hated it when they took it out on him.   
  
Jordan could tell his back looked bad. The shirt had stuck because of blood, and it hurt to peal it off. And added to the bruises there from the times before it was bad. He had told Jackson to stop hitting him with the belt, that the bruises wouldn't fade and he had gym when he went back and they would still be there. But then his mom started hitting him with something else. Jordan couldn't remember but it had felt like the cord they sometimes hit him with.   
  
Looked in the mirror their were bruises already on his stomach where they hit when he had moved. And his lip was puffy. That's when he remembered he was supposed to go swimming with Jamie.  
  
"Oh shoot." He sighed.   
  
He winced as he went and sat on his bed. Sitting, laying, walking everything hurt to do. He thought of Jamie. He was supposed to go swimming with her. But he couldn't looking like this. He was ashamed. It was his fault, he had been in their way when they were in a bad mood. He had come home late and made a dinner they didn't want. He deserved it, he was a bad boy and bad boys needed to be punished. That's what Kendra said wasn't it. What would Jamie think of him now. To know he was bad, and weak, he had cried any way. Even though Jackson had hit him more for crying Jordan hadn't stopped until the pain got to bad.  
  
And then he could see the look on Jamie's face. What would she think? Would she be sickened. By him, by the pain his parents had caused him. Who? That's when he remembered the last time he had accidentally come over with a black eye and her parents, the ones he loved so much, had asked questions. Questions like the cops and the doctors and the social workers had asked. It had scared him. He had felt safe until the questions. He couldn't tell her, he could never tell her what they had done to him. There would be more questions, and though he could handle them from everyone else, he couldn't handle the questions form Jamie, and her family. They hurt to much to answer.  
  
He went to the bathroom (there was a phone there). He dialed Jamie's number.  
  
"Hello?" Wendy (Jamie's mom) answered.  
  
"Hi, Mrs. G. Is Jamie there?" Jordan asked, making himself sound sick on the phone.  
  
"Sure wait a minute." She said to Jordan. There was a pause before Jamie came on the line.  
  
"Hey Jordan," Jamie said as she got to the phone. "Whats up, ready to go swimming?" she asked happily, they were all going to the beach today.  
  
"Um, Hi Jamie. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." He said pitifully.  
  
"What do you mean?" Jamie answered sounding sad.  
  
"I can't go."  
  
"Why not?" Jamie asked disappointed. "Is everything okay, I mean at home and stuff?" she asked with concern.  
  
"Yeah, I just can't. I mean I don't feel good, and I just can't go." He said.   
  
"Are you sure?" she asked uncertain.  
  
"Yes, I just don't feel good." He said a little to insistently.  
  
"Then I'll bring you chicken soup or something later, to help you feel better." She said.  
  
"No, that's okay you really don't have to." He said, knowing the consequences if she did would be dire, and he couldn't handle being hit badly again.  
  
"But I..." she whined.  
  
"No, it's okay, I'll feel better." He said. "I promise Jams."  
  
"Okay." She said finally and hesitently. "I'll talk to you later than Jordan." She said. "Buh Bye!"  
  
"Bye Jamie" he said hanging up.  
  
*************END FLASHBACK*************  
  
She hadn't come over that day, and Jordan was glad, the bruises had taken a long time to fade, and took a lot of effort to keep hidden from her. But now she knew, she knew what really was wrong with him. Jordan thought if he should tell, stop hurting her. Or not and save himself.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
Okay guys this was the end of this chapter. What will happen next? Will Jordan write to Jamie and finally tell her the truth after all these years, or will he chicken out and pull out at the last minute? What will the group say when they confront him? What will Aubrey say in response to Shelby's letter? And How will Scott feel when he finds out what Aubrey has to say? And also the big question... What will happen when Jordan's parents come for there little visit???  



	14. Memories-Pt. 14

Memories- Part 14  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the original higher ground member. But I do own all the new ones, Like Jordan, Jamie, and Aubrey and Jill etc...  
  
In this chapter- Okay Trying to condense a little, so Group, Jamie, Letter from Aubrey, and the 'rents visit....   
  
Oh yeah and a note. Jordan says a very controversial statement during the first group session. If it offends any victims of abuse. I am sorry, but you must think of where Jordan is coming from.  
  
Okay guys.. I AM SOOOO SORRY this took so long to write. It was hard, I didn't know what to make happen. I know, I suck with that part... Anyway here you are!  
  
  
  
Computer Lab  
  
Jordan looked at the screen. He knew he should call her. He went to the phone that Peter and Sophie had in their office, for the kids. He dialed her number.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
Jordan sighed a sigh of relief that it was Jamie. "Hey." he said trying to sound cheerful.  
  
"Jordan, is that you?" Jamie asked with surprise.  
  
"I'm sorry Jamie." he blurted out. "I'm really really sorry."  
  
"Sorry for what Jordan?" Jamie asked, concerned for her best friend.  
  
There was a pause as Jordan thought for a minute, regretting the call somewhat. Why had he thought that he could tell her.  
  
"I'm sorry I hurt you." he said. "I'm sorry I made you scared, I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry I hid things from you, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you stuff, that though I trust you with everything else that I couldn't tell you. I'm sorry...." he said almost on the point of crying as Jamie stopped him.  
  
"What? Why do you have to be sorry?" she asked.  
  
"I got your e-mail I know I hurt you." he said. "I made you sad that you thought I couldn't trust you."  
  
"Jordan don't worry..." she said.  
  
"You can't tell anyone Jamie." Jordan said insistently, "You can't tell anyone what I tell you."  
  
"Jor...." Jamie started but Jordan stopped her.  
  
"No Jamie, Promise me, because if you don't I'll hang up right now." he said seriously.  
  
"Fine," Jamie said, trying to get him to keep talking.  
  
Jordan breathed in deeply. It was scary, he had never told Jamie or anyone else anything that had ever happened in his house, no one. He couldn't think of what to say to her, without looking like the wuss and the jerk he thought that he was.  
  
"How did you know?" Jordan whispered. "How could you know?"  
  
"I know you too well Jordan, I've known you since I was a baby, don't you think that I would know what was wrong." Jamie asked him. "I saw you change. Change right before my eyes. After Matthew..." she said then changed it. "After your dad died, you changed." She said pausing.  
  
"You weren't the same anymore. You weren't the Jordan that I had eaten ice cream with on the forth of July, the Jordan that kissed me in the pear tree, you weren't the one that Had pulled out his baby tooth when I was to afraid to pull out mine." she said laughing.  
  
'Those were the good times,' Jordan thought.  
  
"You just changed." she said sadly.  
  
"I had to." Jordan finally said. "Don't you understand that Jamie, I had to." he said.  
  
"No I don't understand Jordan!" she said almost yelling at him. "If I got it I wouldn't be having this conversation with you." she said.  
  
"Jamie Don't..." he said softly.  
  
"Don't what?" she asked almost angrily.  
  
"Don't yell at me." Jordan said softly, defeated. "I did what I had to do." he said, knowing it sounded pathetic.  
  
"Don't try the mocho thing Jordan, please. It's not you. Tell me the truth." She said. "Please, please Jordan tell me the truth."  
  
He swallowed hard, Jamie could hear it at the end of the phone.  
  
"After daddy died, mom changed." he started. "Even when daddy was sick she was changing. She would hit me and I'd run to daddy and cry." he said. "But when daddy was gone there was no one there."  
  
Jordan waited for Jamie to say something, but when she didn't Jordan continued. "She started to hit me a lot, after the funeral. I was bad, I was a pain. But it hurt, and I tried to be good. But It wasn't enough." he said pausing. "Then she married Jackson. They wanted me to forget about daddy, tried to beat it out of me. I had to, I had to forget to keep from getting hit, I didn't want to get hit Jamie. I wanted mom and Jackson to love me, but I was to bad and they hit me."  
  
He paused for a minute. "And you wonder why I don't go to church." he said almost laughing. "Cause I don't want to get my nose broken again. Is that such a sin." he asked.  
  
The words were like a slap on the face to Jamie.  
  
"Then I had to protect Dillion and Hailey Jade. They meant everything to me Jamie, everything. I would have died for them if it meant they were safe. When the cops came that time to take them away, I almost died. Gram and Pop didn't want me, and I was back here. Without them... Without the only people I had left." he said holding back the tears that were in his eyes, but Jamie could hear the sadness in his voice. "They took daddy and then Dillion and Hailey. And I was bad. All I wanted was the best for them, I didn't want them taken away from me. It wasn't fair."  
  
"It's not fair Jordan." Jamie said almost crying herself.   
  
"And then when your parents started asking questions. Jamie that was so hard. The only people that are supposed to ask questions are cops and doctors. And their so stupid and easy to lie to. I had to lie Jamie, It makes them madder, they'd kill me if they knew I told you or anyone else, they would kill me Jamie, you need to understand that." he said stressing the last sentence.  
  
"When they asked questions I couldn't look at you, I couldn't come back. I didn't want you to know I was bad. To think I was a horrible person, and a Jerk. It's my fault they hit me."  
  
"NO IT'S NOT!" Jamie shouted at him.  
  
"I deserv..." he started.  
  
"NO YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON JORDAN. UNDERSTAND THAT."  
  
"No..." Jordan staggered. "No, no, no. I'm bad. That's what mom and Jackson and everyone say..." he staggered, saying what had been drilled in his head thousands of times.  
  
"Jordan their not everyone...." Jamie said.  
  
Jordan couldn't hear this, it was to bad, to scary. "SHUT UP.... JUST SHUT UP!!!" he yelled "Please."  
  
"No, I'm not going to. It's wrong Jordan. What they did...." Jamie said,  
  
"I shouldn't have told you. You sound like them... You sound like the cops and the doctors and the social workers... You sound like them Jamie. Stop please, I thought you were different... Please, you can't..." he paused. "You can't be like them." he said beggingly. "You need to tell." Jamie said softly.  
  
"I shouldn't have done this." Jordan said. "I shouldn't....I shouldn't...."  
  
"Jordan, are you okay?" Jamie said and then thinking how stupid her question was.  
  
"Do you know how much trouble I'm in Jamie?" he asked seriously.  
  
Jamie knew she didn't need to answer, Jordan would tell her.  
  
"I ran away from here Jamie. Mom and Jackson are coming on Thursday. 4 DAYS! AND I JUST TOLD! They're going to kill me Jamie. And I can't...I really don't want to get hit by them again. It hurt so bad before we left. And then Peter and Sophie their so nosy. Their sticking their noses in everything. And I stole my records Jamie. Get it I STOLE THEM. From Peter and Sophie's office. I am in so deep, I've been so bad Jamie. So bad." he said to her.  
  
"Jordan everything will be o...." Jamie was starting, but Jordan couldn't hear the rest.  
  
"I love you Jamie." he said quickly. "Bye." he said hanging up before she could say anything else. And he prayed that she wouldn't say anything to her parents. And He knew she wouldn't...  
  
********FLASHBACK*********  
  
Jordan sat on the swing in Jamie's back yard. She was swinging next to him. She was sucking on a lollipop. Jordan sat swaying slightly on the swing as Jamie swing far up and back. But as she looked at Jordan's face, traced with sadness she abruptly stopped.  
  
"Jordan what's wrong?" she asked as she stopped swinging.  
  
"Promise you won't tell?" he asked. "Ever?"  
  
"Yes, I promise." she said meaning the words truly.  
  
He swayed for a few more minutes, not saying anything. "Mom and Jackson hurt Hailey Jade and Dillion." he said softly. "That's why they're gone."  
  
"Did they ever..." she began to ask.  
  
"No." he said flatly and insistently. Jamie didn't question him.  
  
"If your parents ask tell them that mom and Jackson couldn't take care of them right now cause money is tight okay?!?!" he said begginly.  
  
"But why?" she asked.  
  
"Just promise okay. The end." he said sticking out his pinkie for a pinkie promise.  
  
"Okay I promise." she said sticking out her pinkie.  
  
***********END FLASHBACK**********  
  
  
  
LATER ON IN GROUP  
  
The cliffhangers settled down for group. Jordan sat on the floor, Ezra and Daisy on the loveseat, Scott and Shelby on the chair, and Juliet, Auggie, and Kat on the couch. Peter and Sophie stood up near the fire place.  
  
"So Jordan this is your first group since you ran." Sophie said. "Feels weird doesn't it."  
  
Jordan didn't respond, he just pulled his knees tighter to his chest.  
  
"Okay then." Peter said when Jordan didn't answer. "Lets to a game, Fill in this sentence, Something that bothers me is....." Peter told them. "Jordan you go first."  
  
"Something that bothers me is when people don't mind their own business." he said flatly. "Ezra."  
  
"Something that bothers me is the nasty food that they serve here sometimes." he said as the group laughed. "Juliet."  
  
"Something that bothers me is..." Juliet said thinking, "Is when my mom says I'm not good enough."  
  
"But you are Jules." Auggie said putting his arm around her.   
  
"No interrupting Auggie." Sophie said. "Juliet call on someone."  
  
"Kat."  
  
"Something that bothers me is that I'm so worried about college." she said. "Auggie."  
  
"Good one Kat." Peter said.  
  
"Something that bothers me is when people act prejudice of me because of where I grew up." he said. "Ain't that true homes."  
  
Scott laughed. "So true bro." he said knocking knuckles with Auggie, the group laughed.  
  
"Serious you two." Daisy said making fun of Peter and Sophie, they didn't want Jordan to think something was totally up anyway.  
  
"Okay, Daisy it's your turn then." Auggie said.  
  
"Something that bothers me is when people live behind masks." she said. "Shelby."  
  
"Something that bothers me is when guys think I'm easy cause of my past." she said. "Scott."  
  
"Something that bothers me is when people hurt their kids." Scott said indirectly directing the comment at Jordan.  
  
"What if they deserve it?" he said.  
  
"What???" Scott asked kind of mad, he'd been hurt. Though he thought that was what Jordan's reaction would be it still stung.  
  
"I don't mean like what happened to you, being like sexually molested and raped and all that. But if a parent hits their kid cause their kid was bad or something, and needed to be punished then they deserve it. They deserve all the pain they get. They've just gotta deal with it." he said.  
  
"There are other ways to punish your kids." Auggie said. "I mean some people where I lived hit their kids, some hit their kids a lot." he said then stopped for a minute, "My neighbor Hector, he was a good kid but his parents whacked him all the time, they landed him in the hospital a couple of times before he got taken away for good. He was my friend and I hated going over to his house cause his parents would always hit him and he never did anything." he said the group hushed, they hadn't known that.  
  
"That's tough." Scott said finally.  
  
"My parents never hit me." Daisy. "They came home drunk sure, but they never laid a hand on me, until the time I hit the old man with the 7 iron."   
  
"My mom and dad never laid a finger on me." Scott said. "It was the skank that did."  
  
"They just didn't care." Juliet said not needing to say anymore, her mom rarely even hugged her. Sensing her sadness Auggie placed his hand on her shoulder and lightly squeezed it so she would know he was there.  
  
"My parents spanked me once." Kat said. "When I ran into the street when a car was coming and almost got hit. Then they cried and hugged me."  
  
"Same with mine." Ezra said. "Accept mine was when they found me doing acid in my room. My dad was so mad that I would do that to myself. It was right before he sent me here. I don't think that he ever forgave himself for doing it to me either."  
  
The group looked at Jordan for his reaction.  
  
"What?" he asked. "What, my parents hit me. So what, it's not like they do it all the time. Only when I'm bad." he said.  
  
'Which just seams to be all the time.' he thought to himself.  
  
"I deserve it." he said. "It's not like it hurts. I mean come on. You people are wusses. 'Oh my mommy and daddy hit me once and it scared me for life.' and 'When my dad tried to hit me I hit him first'. Well aren't you all special. I've deserved everything I've ever gotten. Don't think that I'm some kind of victim. Cause don't you think that I'm smart enough to realize what you people are doing." he said. The group looked at each other, one thought went through their mind 'BUSTED!'  
  
"Your trying to get me to say 'Oh yea, my parents they hit me all the time. I guess that makes me a victim of physical abuse.' Right? Well let me tell you something, that's just an accuse for people we can take it. It's for kids who are wusses, who can't take a hit. That go crying when ever mommy and daddy lay a finger on them. And that's not me." he said to them.   
  
"I'm outta here. I'm going back to my bunk." he said and walked out before Peter, Sophie or anyone could call him back.  
  
The group sat silently for a minute.   
  
"Well that didn't look like we expected." Scott said.  
  
"Did you really expect it to?" Shelby asked.  
  
The group looked at her.  
  
"He's not going to just come out and say 'Yeah my parents beat the crap out of me.' or anything guys. That's stupid. We just gotta make him admit it some other way, or wait until he's ready to crack." she said smartly. The rest of the group nodded their heads.  
  
GUYS DORM- LATER THAT NIGHT  
  
Scott, Ezra, and Auggie walked into the dorm. They hadn't seen Jordan since group, he had been avoiding them, eating lunch early, leaving classes fast. They had been hoping to see him when they got back in from dinner. But Jordan wasn't there.  
  
"Where do you think he is?" Ezra asked. "I know he didn't run away again that's for sure." Scott said. "No one would be stupid enough to do that again."  
  
"Except you homes." Auggie said and the guys started laughing.  
  
"Wanna play cards till he gets here?" Ezra asked.  
  
The guys had nothing else to do so they went to the lodge to play cards. When they got back Jordan was laying on his bunk with a pillow over his head.   
  
"Yo, Jordan are you okay?" Scott asked as they went over to him.   
  
"Leave me alone." he said to them, muffled by the pillow.  
  
"Come on J, talk to us." Auggie said. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Thinking." Jordan said, taking the pillow off his head, but still laying down.  
  
"About what?" Ezra asked.  
  
"Jamie." Jordan said. "I talked to her today. She e-mailed me and I called her for the first time since I left."  
  
"Oooohhh Jordan talked to a girl." Ezra said jokingly.  
  
"It wasn't like that." Jordan said looking at him with a deadly stare. "She said something to me, and it got me thinking."  
  
"What did she say?" Scott asked nonchalantly.  
  
"None of your business." Jordan said.  
  
"Come on, dish" Ezra said.  
  
"Fine, it's not like it was anything juicy." he said. "She just said that I was a good person."  
  
"That's all?" Auggie asked.  
  
"That's all." Jordan said. "Now leave me alone."   
  
Jordan laid back down and turned away from them, covers over his head..  
  
  
  
AND NOW WE TRAVEL INTO TIME TO WEDNESDAY- 3:00-Lodge  
  
Shelby sat on the couch next to the window. Her hands covered with the sleeves of her sweater. She opened the letter she had just got in the mail. It was a reply from Aubrey. He had replied the day he got it. She opened the seal and peaked around to make sure no one, like Scott could see. She didn't want him to know just yet about Aubrey. It wasn't the right time. She pulled the letter carefully out of the envelope.   
  
"Dear Shelby, There are different kinds of love in the world. Love for family, love for friends. Love in marriage. It's possible to love 2 people in different ways equally. For instance You love Scott. I know you do. And you love me. That's what you were talking about in your last letter wasn't it? How you could possibly love us both at the same time. It's because the love is different. You love Scott because he's there for you and you share the same pasts almost. You can confide in him like you can't in me because he won't judge you (not that I would ever do that to you either) because he's been there. I give him all the best of luck, because if he ever breaks your heart I'll kill him . You love him in the way a woman loves her boyfriend or husband. The way that you want to give yourself fully to them and never look at another person again in the same way. You pour as much as you can into the relationship. You might get something back and you might not. But you will never be the same. But us, we're different. I love you and you love me like we can't love anyone else. I've loved you since I can remember. You'll always be a part of me. And I'll always be there in the back of your mind keeping you together. You'll always be the first girl I kissed on the back of the school bus in kindergarten. The girl I watched turn into a beautiful person. You are beautiful Shelby. You'll be the girl I thought I lost but knew I never would forget. You'll be the girl that told me I had to grow up and face Jim Tucker in 6th grade. You'll be the one who crawled through my bedroom window when I was 13 begging for a place to sleep for the night. The one who didn't care what people thought of her, all people except me. You always cared what I thought and I always care what you think of me. The girl I knew I couldn't save when I wanted to so bad. The one I cried and prayed for with my family when she ran away without any answers for me. It reminds me of the movie "My best Friends Wedding" When Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts are in the elevator and Cameron says that Julia will always be in her fiancé's mind. Because they were best friend. How he holds everyone to Julia's image and standards. Shelby. You'll be the one on my pedestal forever. I'll remember and love you forever Shelby. You'll always be my best friend. No matter who comes and goes. Who I date or who you date, whoever I marry or you marry. You'll be there in my mind and in my heart. No one will ever replace what you've given me. As for your other Horizon dilemmas what can I say? I don't know about this Jordan character. You say he called you names, and then apologized? I would have beaten him up. Seams like he's got some major problems Shel. And Scott's teaching you how to play the piano? Wow! I'd always thought you'd take up dancing again or something. I'm glad to hear that Daisy and Ezra are back together again. They sound a lot like you and Scott. And I think you need to give Juliet a chance and stop talking bad about her. If you didn't like it when Jordan did it to you, you shouldn't do it to her. Well That's about it. I love you. Mom's calling me for dinner and I want to mail this letter tomorrow. Bye Beautiful! Love, Aubrey."  
  
Shelby looked at the letter. She smiled a huge smile. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Whatcha reading?" Scott asked her.  
  
"No...Nothing." She said quickly folding up the letter and sticking it in her pocket.  
  
"Well it didn't look like nothing from the look on your face." He said hugging her.  
  
"Come on you two." They heard Peter call. "It's time for group and since it's nice we're having it outside. "  
  
Scott and Shelby made their way outside holding hands.  
  
"Who was the letter from?" Scott asked as they met with the group.  
  
"No one you know." Shelby said as she dropped his hand.  
  
"Don't keep secrets from me Shel, please!" he whispered to her as they sat down on the picnic tables.  
  
"I'll tell you later." she said and that was it.  
  
"Okay guys." Sophie said. "Tomorrow we are having guests come. Jordan's parents are coming for a couple of days."  
  
The group looked at Jordan who had a sour look on his face. "Oh joy." he whispered only for the teens to hear. The group laughed.  
  
"Don't hold back the excitement Jordan. Geez." Daisy said.  
  
"I remember when my mom came." Scott said fondly. "It seams so long ago now."  
  
"Yeah, your mom was cool." Auggie said. "A lot better than your old man."  
  
"Especially when he tried to take you back home." Shelby said squeezing his hand.  
  
"You..." Jordan said gulping. "You almost got sent back home?"  
  
"Yeah, but he stopped at the last minute, after I made a big scene in the restaurant." he said laughing.  
  
"I got sent home." Shelby said bitterly. "Walt, that...that..." she started to say but Sophie shot her a look. "It was hell anyway." She said finally. "I hate him so much. Thank god when I called the cops on him they came. Who knows what I would have done to him. Thank god he was almost dead to so he couldn't do anything to Jess or me." she said.  
  
"You mean I could end up going back to?" Jordan asked, reality was beginning to set in.  
  
"Yes Jordan." Peter said. "That's a strong possibility, we walked about that before remember. Unless you seam to have some reason why you don't want to go home you might have to. We don't take running away very lightly." Peter said.  
  
"Oh yea, I remember." he said solemnly looking at his feet now.  
  
"Do you have a reason you don't want to go home?" Sophie asked softly placing her hand on his shoulder.  
  
Jordan violently shook her hand off his shoulder. He didn't speak for a minute. "Just that it's the school year already and adjusting would be hard again." he said.  
  
'That sounds like a good enough excuse.' Jordan thought to himself and then looked at them. 'To bad they didn't seam to buy it moron.' he thought to himself again.  
  
"Are you sure that's all?" Peter asked.  
  
"Can we just get on with group peter please." Juliet spoke up. She seamed to sense Jordan's tension and wanting him to feel better.  
  
"Okay then. Guys why don't we play a game." Sophie said.  
  
"What do you have in mind?" Auggie asked.  
  
"Football." Scott said. "Please, Football."  
  
The group laughed and Peter and Sophie smiled. "Sure guys what ever you want. You have 1/2 an hour and then we'll talk for a while."  
  
Scott ran and grabbed the ball from Sophie. They were all ready to have fun. Splitting into teams they played until they were exhausted. Then Peter called them back to group.  
  
"Okay guys, you had your fun." Peter said. "Now something serious. Like I said, we have visitors coming tomorrow. And I want all of you on your best behavior." he said smiling, "Get it?"  
  
There was a chorus of 'Yeah's' from the group. Every one agreed, they had before Peter needed to tell them. They wanted to make it easy for Jordan.  
  
"Okay then, groups over guys, That's all we wanted to say." Peter said and the group went their separate ways.  
  
THE BRIDGE  
  
Shelby went to take a walk, mainly for the reason that she couldn't face Scott at the moment. But when she heard footsteps behind her, she knew it was him. But she didn't turn around.  
  
Scott ran after Shelby till he caught up with her arm. "Shelby, what are you hiding from me now?!?" he asked. "I thought we were through keeping secrets from each other.  
  
Shelby turned to glare at him. "Fine Scott, you want to know who it's from?" She asked more angrily than she had expected. "You want to know who the letter was from?"  
  
With no reply from Scott she continued. "It's from a guy back home."  
  
Scott's face crunched up. Another guy, he felt betrayed. 'How could she do this to me?' he thought. "But..." he started to say.  
  
"His name is Aubrey, Scott. I've known him since I was little. I've loved him since then and he cares about me. He's always been there for me, when no one else was. I love him." Shelby said. "But I love you too, it's not the same. That's what I wrote him to ask. If I could love both of you. Because I do..." she said looking at him.  
  
"I'm sorry." He whispered to her, brushing his hand through her hair and hugging her. "I'm sorry."  
  
THE NEXT DAY  
  
The group sat around eating breakfast. Oatmeal and sausage. Scott and Ezra were joking around about the oatmeal saying it was turning into cement. Everyone was laughing, everyone except Jordan.  
  
"Hey, J, you okay?" Auggie asked.  
  
"Huh? What?" Jordan asked looking up at them dazed.  
  
"You are way out of it man." Auggie said. "I asked if you were okay."  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." He said as Peter came up.  
  
"Jordan, your parents just called. They'll be here in about 2 hours." Peter said squeezing Jordan's shoulder and walking away.  
  
Jordan sighed. 'Great. I can't wait.' He whispered. The group looked at him.  
  
"It's going to be okay Jordan." Juliet said perkily.   
  
"Whatever." Jordan said and walked away.  
  
When he had gone the Group started talking again.  
  
"What do you think is his problem?" Daisy asked.  
  
"The ones who put him here are coming back. He's got to face his demons faster than he wanted to." Shelby said. "It sucks."  
  
"Sure does." Scott agreed.  
  
BY THE LAKE  
  
Jordan sat on a stone overlooking the lake. It was the place he always came when he could sneak out of the dorms, after he had had a nightmare. He sat looking out onto the lake, wondering what was going to happen next. Sure he had been away from them for a while. It wasn't like the first time he was coming back into their clutches. All the times he had come back after foster homes, and relatives. The times he got sent back. But this was different. He had caused this. And he was scared what they would do to him now.  
  
Would they even try to hit him? He didn't know. It's not like he hadn't hid bruises from even the nosiest neighbors and friends and the best doctors and nurses. But could he hide it from THEM? From the guys, and Shelby and Daisy and Kat? And most importantly could he hide it from Peter and Sophie.  
  
He shuddered at the thought of anyone finding out. Could he handle being taken away and returned again. The beating last time was bad. He'd almost landed in the hospital and should have if they weren't protecting their own butts. And what would Peter and Sophie say 'I told you so.'? Would they rub it in his face. Sure it was his fault that his parents hit him wasn't it? That's what Jordan kept telling himself. But if Peter and Sophie said it would it sound as true, as real? That it was really all his fault.  
  
Looking at his watch Jordan sighed. 45 minutes till meltdown and the minutes were ticking by faster. What would they do? What would they say? How would they act? Would they have that sickeningly sweet act on, the one that made Jordan sick, the one that scared him? Or would they show them what they were really like, the ones that slapped him and punched him and kicked him and swore at him? He put his head in his hands and breathed deeply.  
  
LATER ON  
  
Jordan ran to the Administrations building as fast as he could. It was 11:15. He was 15 minutes late. And knowing Jackson they had been early and he would look even worse. As he ran up to the building his worst fears were true. They were there, Kendra and Jackson, talking with Peter and Sophie.  
  
"Sorry I'm late..." he said gasping for breath both out of having to run there from the lake, and from fear.  
  
"Well HELLO Jordan." His mother said to him.  
  
"Good morning mom, sir." He said to both of them averting his attention to the ground.  
  
Kendra came over to him and hugged him tightly, her nails digging into his back. "We're going to have a nice little chat later." She whispered to him, digging deeper.  
  
"I missed you too mom." Jordan said like a robot, knowing how the script went.  
  
"It's nice to see you again son." Jackson said, shaking his hand, grasping it hard.  
  
Jordan breathed hard on that. "Please, please don't ever call me that." He said barely in a whisper.   
  
Jackson looked ready to strike but then stopped. Jordan hoped Peter and Sophie hadn't noticed.  
  
"Well why don't we all go inside." Sophie said, and they all followed her.  
  
PETERS OFFICE  
  
"Mr. And Mrs. Thomas, as You know Jordan ran away last week." Peter said.  
  
"Yes Mr. Scarbrow, we know, or else we wouldn't be here." Jackson said.  
  
"I know that Mr. Thomas. But I think we need to talk about this from the beginning." Peter said trying to keep his cool since Jordan's parents weren't.  
  
"Has Jordan ever run away before?" Peter asked.  
  
"The stupid kid runs away all the time." Kendra mumbled.  
  
"Now Mrs. Thomas, that is inappropriate." Sophie said. "Jordan is not stupid. He is one of the smartest students at this school. If not the smartest in his group."  
  
"Yeah well you should see him at home." Kendra shot back.  
  
"We've seen his transcripts Mrs. Thomas, and we have no doubt that your son is bright. What ever reason that you brought him here, it wasn't bad enough to shoot down his grades. With an average like his, then or now, he can do anything he wants when he gets older, go to any college he wants." Sophie said to her keeping her cool.  
  
"God you guys." Jordan yelled. "Don't talk about me like I'm not in the freaking room. I am."  
  
"Shut up Jordan. We aren't talking to you right now. Sit down." Jackson ordered, and Jordan obeyed immediately.  
  
"Yes sir." He said submissively.  
  
"We're sorry Jordan." Sophie said. "We didn't mean to."  
  
Jordan didn't say anything.  
  
"Anyway, as you were saying." Jackson said.  
  
"When a student runs away, especially a student like Jordan, we are faced with a very difficult situation. Whether it would benefit him or her more to go home or to stay at Horizon."  
  
"I see." Jackson said, glaring at Jordan intensely. "And what do you think we should do."  
  
"That is up to you, it's a choice that you 3 will have to make up on your own." Peter said. "Put I think Jordan's doing well here."  
  
"We'll talk it over." Kendra stated plainly, sounding bored.  
  
"Okay then, I guess we can adjourn the meeting for now, and we'll talk to you later on?" Sophie asked.  
  
"That sounds splendid." Kendra said with a fake smile. "Now we need to get our stuff unpacked." She said. "Would it be fine with you two if we take Jordan with us, have a bite to eat or something, talk this over and be back later?"  
  
"Sure that would be fine." Peter said, not noticing the look of dread on Jordan's face, and ignoring the glare of warning from Sophie.  
  
"Come on Jordan lets go." Jackson snapped."  
  
Jordan jumped immediately at the command. "Bye Peter, Bye Sophie." He said and hurriedly followed them out of the room.  
  
IN THE THOMAS' CAR...  
  
Jackson practically threw Jordan into the back seat.  
  
"What were you trying to pull back there." Kendra yelled at him reaching over the seat to smack him as soon as they were away from the school.  
  
Jordan held his cheek, it burned from her touch. "Wha.. What do you mean?" he asked confused.  
  
"Yelling that we were talking around you." Jackson said pulling over to the side of the road. "What you think your actually good enough for someone to care about you? You think you're a big shot cause your smart."  
  
"Daddy cared about me." Jordan shot back unexpectedly, he didn't know why he said it but he regretted it instantly.  
  
"Don't you ever say that name in this car, do you understand." Jackson yelled at him hitting him with the back of his hand across the face, then again.  
  
"Sorry." Jordan said, he tasted sickeningly familiar taste of blood in his mouth, he must have bit his lip. 'As long as you get ice on it it will be okay.' He thought to himself 'They'll never know.'  
  
Jordan shut up then, knowing it would be worse later, if he talked anymore. With them talking about his dad, Matthew, was almost a criminal offence, and he knew when they got to the hotel they'd tell him that again. He spent the rest of the ride there trying to find out a sure fire way to hide the bruises this time.   
  
After about 10 minutes they came to the hotel. Jackson and Kendra made Jordan stay in the car until they got the room key, then they came back and made him take their bags to the room. He silently did.  
  
Going into the room, Jordan was sickened by the smell of musty sheets and cigarette smoke, the smells every cheap hotel has. He just put down the bags as Jackson slammed the door.  
  
"What they hell did you think you were doing?" Jackson screamed at him pushing him into the table across the room.   
  
"I...I don't know." He stuttered.  
  
"I don't know." Kendra whined mocking him. "What kind of answer is that?" she asked pulling his hair dropping him to his knees," Tell me the truth." she yelled.  
  
"They were going to find out." He said barely in a whisper  
  
"What do you mean they were going to find out, what did you say?" Jackson said, Jordan could tell he had taken off his belt cause he heard it snap. Jordan just waited for the first blows to come. He held his breath.  
  
"Answer me." Jackson yelled hitting him once, twice, three times in a row. Jordan gasped at the pain.  
  
"And their going to know for sure now." Jordan said, knowing in an instant he had worded that wrong. They would think he had told.  
  
"WHAT?" His mother asked infuriated. Kicking him, Jordan fell into a heap on the floor."  
  
The belt fell again and again and again. He tried to make the words come out that he wassorry, that it wasn't what he had ment. But the pain. It hurt. Finally there was a cease in the beatings. Jordan knew it was Jackson's arm had gotten tired and he needed to switch the belt to the other one. But it was his chance.  
  
"I didn't tell, I swear I didn't tell." He said crying. "Please believe me, I didn't tell. I wouldn't."   
  
"How do we know?" Kendra said pulling him up by the hair again. "You are stupid." She said and slammed him against the wall.  
  
"I wouldn't, I swear I wouldn't." he said trying, hoping they would believe him.  
  
But it was to now avail and the blows started to come again. Pretty soon Jordan blacked out.  
  
LATER ON IN THE ROOM  
  
Jordan woke up, a feeling of nausea washed up upon him. He saw a bright light and it took a moment to realize where he was. In the same hotel room, with his parents. They were gone, Jordan looked at the digital clock on the counter 6:45. They must have been out for dinner. Without him of course. He had to be back at Horizon by 8:00.   
  
The first thing he noticed when he woke up after the fact that THEY were gone, was his eyes opened all the way, that meant no black eyes, which was a relief, and the fact that his lip was numb and cold, which meant that his parents had cared about themselves enough to care for him for once. His lip wouldn't be swollen, which was one less thing he had to hide.  
  
He painstakingly got up. Looking in the mirror in the bathroom he noticed that his face had no bruises on it. That was a good thing. And his arms were covered. Then he wondered about his back. Wondered what he could do to hide it from the guys, they changed in the same room. Maybe he could change in the bathroom, but even that was risky. And by the way he walked, the pain was still a lot, could Peter and Sophie tell. When he sat down could they tell.   
  
He took off his shirt. And saw in the mirror the all too familiar souvenirs of his mom and step-dads rage. The bruises, and the dried blood from piercing the skin. He shuddered at the masses of bruises all over his back and his sides. Wondering still how he could hide them. As he heard the door slam he quickly put his shirt back on and ran out.  
  
"Get ready, we're leaving now." Kendra yelled. Jordan carefully slipped on his coat, and ran after them. Just wanting to get back to Horizon. He was in the car even before they were.  
  
BACK AT HORIZON  
  
Jordan slipped into the lodge quietly. He was to tell Peter that his parents had to get back to the hotel and go to sleep, that's why they couldn't come. As he entered the group was already there and started.  
  
"Sorry I'm late." Jordan said to them as he sat carefully next to Scott.  
  
"It's okay Jordan." Sophie said cheerfully. "We were just talking about our favorite things."  
  
"Oh." Jordan mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in the chair, he held his arms, suddenly cold.  
  
"are you okay Jordan?" Peter asked looking at him.  
  
"Wha.." Jordan said collecting his thoughts, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little under the weather I guess.'  
  
"Maybe you should go see Anne Marie?" Sophie said.  
  
"No....No I'm fine really. I'm fine." Jordan replied hurriedly and insistently.  
  
The group looked at him. "Okay then guys, why don't we call it a night, and you can all go back to your dorms."  
  
The guys went to their dorms. And Peter and Sophie went to their office  
  
PETER AND SOPHIE'S OFFICE.  
  
"What do you think was wrong with him today?" Sophie asked, speaking of Jordan. "He seamed weird when he came back."  
  
"I don't know Sophie." Peter said.  
  
"Do you think they..." she asked, in a hushed whisper.   
  
"I don't know." Peter said exhausted. "I don't know."  
  
"I wish he would just say something. Any thing." Sophie sighed looking out the window.  
  
LATER ON- NIGHT- BOYS DORM  
  
Scott, Auggie, and Ezra were woken up by screams.  
  
"No, please. I'm sorry, really I'm sorry." Jordan screamed in his sleep, worse than ever before. Moving.  
  
He moaned as if in real pain. Crying.  
  
********DREAM*******  
  
Jordan landed defenseless at the bottom of the stairs. He heard the stomping of feet on the stairs. They were coming for more. He begged them to stop, begged them more and more. But they didn't the blows kept coming and coming and coming.  
  
***********END DREAM*********  
  
"No....daddy." Jordan cried.  
  
The guys looked. He wasn't waking up.  
  
"This isn't right guys. I can't take this. It's wrong" Scott said.   
  
The guys nodded. "This is the worst it's been."  
  
"We need to get Peter and Sophie." Scott said, "NOW!" he couldn't see Jordan like this.  
  
"Who's going?" Ezra asked.  
  
"Scott you go." Auggie said, looking at Jordan. "You're the fastest."  
  
Scott grabbed his shoes and ran out. Pretty soon he came back with Peter and Sophie.  
  
"What's going on here you guys?" Sophie asked running in.  
  
They hear Jordan crying and screaming. They understand.  
  
Peter goes over. "Jordan," he said shaking him, "Jordan wake up."  
  
Jordan jumped up, scared, sweating. Peter put his hand on Jordan's back and Jordan winced in pain. It felt like a knife.  
  
"What? Why are you all here?" he asked scared.  
  
"You were having a nightmare Jordan, screaming in your sleep. What was it about?" Sophie asked rubbing Jordan's back for a moment.  
  
"Oww." Jordan cried. "Stop." He said getting away from their touch. It hurt.  
  
"What's wrong Jordan?" Sophie asked. "Is something wrong with your back?"   
  
"No... Everything's fine." He said getting up, tugging his shirt closer to him.  
  
"Are you sure?" Sophie asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure." He said. "Positive."   
  
"Then show me." Scott said. "If you have nothing to hide show me your back."  
  
Jordan looked at him, for a moment it was just Jordan and the guys. He forgot that Peter and Sophie were in the room. But it only lasted a moment.  
  
"Fine." He said giving in, taking off his shirt for a quick second. He was in a corner with his back towards the wall so it wouldn't matter cause they couldn't see anything.  
  
"Jordan." Scott said, and Jordan knew what he wanted him to do.  
  
"Do I have do?" Jordan said almost whiny. For a moment it was just him and Scott again.  
  
Scott glared at him. Jordan turned around really fast, hoping no one would see his back.  
  
But looking at them again he knew they did. It was Sophie's 'oh my god' whispered that got to him. And he knew. It was the inevitable, he knew it would happen but not as fast or as suddenly as it did.  
  
"What happened." Peter said.  
  
Jordan mumbled something incoherent. Peter looked at him.  
  
"Nothing okay... Nothing happened." Jordan said.  
  
"They did it to you didn't they?" Auggie said, not in a question.  
  
"Yeah, and so what if they did." Jordan yelled out, a cross between anger and pain. "I deserved it." Then he thought to himself 'I did didn't I? I mean I did make them think that I told. And they got angry at me, cause I was bad.'  
  
"What did you do to deserve that Jordan?' Peter asked in disgust  
  
Jordan wanted to run away so bad. To sink into the woodwork. To just disappear.  
  
"See Jordan, there isn't even an answer." Peter said. "Cause you didn't do anything to deserve it."  
  
A tear ran down Jordan's face. He never cried in front of them, In front of the enemy. Tears brought more blows, more pain. But the words sounded so much like Daddy's. Jordan held onto a memory for a moment.  
  
********FLASHBACK*********  
  
5 year old Jordan came crying into Matthew's room. He ran and held on tightly to his daddy. His dad hugged him back tightly.  
  
"Jordan what's wrong?" Matthew asked his son sitting up.   
  
"Mommy..." Jordan said through tears. "Mommy hurt me."   
  
"What did she do Jordan."  
  
"I...I wanted a cookie. And I asked if I could get one, for me and you." Jordan said crying. "And the cookies dropped on the floor. All of..." he said sniffling. "All over. And I was cleaning em up and mommy saw me and she spanked me daddy. Hard, and a lot and it hurt. I said I was sorry daddy. I really did." Jordan said crying,  
  
"Shhh Jordan, you didn't deserve it. You didn't do anything wrong." Matthew said pulling his son closer to him. And thinking with dread. 'If Kendra does this to him now, what will she do to him when I'm...When I'm gone?  
  
**********END FLASHBACK*********  
  
When Jordan came back to reality, Daddy wasn't there. The fear was. The fear was overwhelming. They knew and now his mother and Jackson would really hurt him now.   
  
Jordan slumped down in the wall. How could he have done it. He wanted Daddy, he wanted Jamie, he wanted Hailey Jade, he wanted Dillion. He wanted that comfort. The one that Daddy had given him. The one that He had tried to give Hailey Jade and Dillion at all costs. The one he had always felt with Jamie and her family. But all he felt was the fear. He buried his head in his hands, willing God to take him away. Put him anywhere else. He didn't realize he was crying until he felt a cool, a nice cool, hand on the base of his neck.  
  
"Shhh Jordan, you'll be okay. You'll be safe now." He knew it was Sophie's voice. And though he knew the words weren't true, they had been spoken before and weren't true. He let them trick him, he needed the comfort they gave him, even if it was false comfort. He held onto that fear as Sophie talked. Words he couldn't comprehend at the moment. He felt pain for a moment and then drifted off to sleep. 


	15. Memories-Pt. 15

Memories- Part 14  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any original higher ground members. But I do own all the new ones to numerous to mention here  
  
In this chapter- Jordan is forced to tell. What will happen to him now?   
  
And a note- For those of you who have read my other HG fic- A New Horizon, I am changing Sophie's past. Not only did her father leave when she was 8, and her brother (I made him up, read the story if you need to) Mark (age 12) for another woman, but also he used to hit them, one of the other reasons Mark hated him so much.  
  
You might need some tissues!!!!  
  
  
Jordan woke up with a start. He knew instantly he wasn't where he had fallen asleep last night. And the splitting headache wasn't helping trying to come to terms with what he had done last night. He tried to come to terms with where he was.   
  
"No, it can't be." He thought panicky as he sat up and looked around. It was the nurses office.  
  
"No way." He said, grabbing his head, he had sat up way to fast. He lay back down. And as he did noticed some of his worse bruises and cuts were bandaged. No one had done that since he'd landed in the hospital. 'How come it always hurts the day after?' he asked himself.  
  
"I gotta get out of here." He said in a whisper to himself. He tried to get off the bed and almost fell, but someone caught him. It was Sophie.  
  
"Seems worse the day after doesn't it Jordan?" she asked him. He looked at her, how did she know, how did she know what he was thinking.  
  
"Sit, let me tell you a story." She said to him. "13 years ago my brother mark committed suicide." She said sadly. "When our dad left it hurt him and me, I was 8, Mark was 12. Mark never forgave him for leaving my mom, or for what he did to Mark. See my dad hit him. Not all the time, just enough. And You wouldn't know until later, I couldn't tell till he woke up the next day, in pain." Sophie said. "And I knew, even then that something was wrong, but I loved my dad, until he left."  
  
Jordan lay back down. Sophie was trying to help him, but it was making it worse. Didn't she know what was going to happen to him. This beating was nothing, he had had worse, and when they finally found out it would be a lot worse. He never stayed away from their clutches for long.  
  
Just the Peter came in. Sophie saw Peters face and left. Peter sat down on the chair next to Peter's office.  
  
"Jordan, we need to talk." Peter said.  
  
Jordan turned to face him. "Let me guess." Jordan said sarcastically. "By the laws of blah blah blah , insert state here, I am ordered to report all suspected cases of abuse."  
  
"So you've heard this all before." Peter said perking his eyebrow up.  
  
"It's all in the..." he said stopping.  
  
"Jordan!"   
  
"It's all in the file." Jordan said breathing too tired to fight, it was the headache.  
  
"Which is where may I ask."  
  
"Under the bunk in the dorm." Jordan said, it was unraveling anyway, might as well tell it all.  
  
'And How did you get it?" Peter asked.  
  
"The night I broke into the office, I went to get that." Jordan said.  
  
"Why'd you do it Jordan?" Peter asked.  
  
"Cause I'm not stupid." Jordan said, and then put a pillow over his head, the headache was unbearable. It was like a drill going through his skull.  
  
"What do you want from us Jordan?" Peter asked.  
  
"What do I want?" Jordan asked sarcastically, "What I want is for you guys to stop butting around in my business. I've learned to take care of myself. So what if my parents... I mean they, hit me. I mean I've lived with it and dealed. Why can't you deal with it."   
  
"Cause it's wrong Jordan, that's why." Peter said. "But maybe you can't see it for exactly the same reason that you just said. Cause you don't know anything else."  
  
Jordan sat up, Peter had no right to say what Jordan knew and didn't know, he didn't know anything (Peter that is) "Don't tell me what I don't know." He said angrily, bitterly, and directly.  
  
"Fine then tell me." Peter challenged him. "I would love to know what you know. Give me some insight."  
  
"GOD!" Jordan screamed. "Can't you lay off. I have a headache that's about to split my brain in two. Just leave me alone."   
  
Peter looked at him. "Fine, we'll talk later Jordan, I'll be back, you think about what I said." Peter said. "And I'll sent Anne Marie in with an aspirin for you."  
  
Being alone the fear returned. How come it always returns when you think that it won't. Jordan lay back down and put his pillow over his head. What he wouldn't do to write in his journal right now. But of course that was under his bed and they'd probably find and read that too.   
  
How could this have happened. He thought to himself. He had tried so hard to keep all the lies straight, all the tracks covered up. Stealing the file, burning the pictures and the Journal entry. Why was this happening again?   
  
He hated this feeling, of failure. Of the extreme fear, the fear that made you go practically crazy, made your heart race and made you do crazy things. He was so scared. And there was no one there, no one to understand him. No one at Horizon did. Only Jamie and daddy and Hailey Jade and Dillion had understood. And where were they now? They were gone now. Far away from him. There was no one to comfort him. And he needed it so bad. Everyone's lies, everyone's false hopes and dreams for him, all the people saying he would one day be safe. That one day he'd be taken far far away from them, from his mom and Jackson, and they would never hurt him again. All the things that had once brought him a glimmer of hope and of comfort were gone. They were all lies.   
  
He'd never be safe, he'd learned that a long time ago. After the first promise was broken when he was taken away the first time and returned. But still it was always there, maybe he could be good, maybe they would change, maybe they wouldn't hit him so hard the next time. Maybe next time they wouldn't use the buckle side of the belt, maybe next time they wouldn't punch so hard, maybe next time they won't break a bone, maybe next time he could stop them, maybe...maybe...maybe... That's all it had been for so long. The maybes. And he knew that wasn't true. They never stopped hurting him, the punches always bruised, the belt always fell, bones were always broken and set just to be broken again. He was never good enough for them, for them to stop hitting him.  
  
He was never safe, never free from that fear. Even in foster homes he feared going back, and facing them again. He feared his foster parents would hurt him like they did, and in some occasions it was true. He feared for Hailey Jade and Dillion's safety. He couldn't see them hurt.  
  
But yet no one cared. Jackson and Kendra didn't care how much they hurt him, they thrived on it, it made them stronger. The social workers didn't care; they always sent him back, why would they send him back there if they really cared. Even Hailey Jade and Dillion didn't care, and he had sacrificed himself for them.   
  
He had done so much for them, for Hailey Jade and Dillion. He had nursed their scrapes, put Band-Aids on their cuts. Congratulated them on good grades and gave them presents on Christmas and birthdays. He had wiped away their tears after nightmares, or after the freak chance that mom or Jackson had gotten their hands on them. He made sure that almost never happened. He couldn't stand them hurt. All those times he had gotten beaten for them. He had comforted them when they were sick, held their hair when they were throwing up, placing a cold hand on their head when they had a fever. He made dinner for them, even when there wasn't enough food for him, cause Jackson and Kendra had spent all the money on beer and wine and the like. He saved them. He let them go when he still needed them, just so they could be safe. And that hurt. What good was it?  
  
Had they ever thanked him? NO. Had they ever written to him, called him to come for a visit? NO. Had he gotten a Christmas or a birthday card from them, even though he sent one at every birthday and holiday? NO. Had they even told the police or anyone what their parents had done to him, what he shielded them from? NO. They just left him.  
  
He had given them so much, and got nothing...nothing at all back. No one was there when he was battered and beaten, bleeding from cuts, his bones broken. No one was there to congratulate him when he did good, and he tried to do good all the time, he was on the top of his class. No one was there when he woke up crying in the middle of the night, no one to hug him and tell him it would be all better. No one to protect him from them, to spare him one punishment. No one cared when he was sick, there was no one to make him feel better. He hadn't had a party... a Christmas in years, since Daddy left. When he cried out in pain, no one came. When he was sick no one was there to comfort him, to make him soup, to place a cool palm on the back of his neck when he was throwing up. No one had tried to save him. No one tried to take him away, to make sure he was safe. No one...no one...no one...  
  
Was that to much for him to ask? To have some one keep him safe. To have some one protect him for once, To have someone comfort him when he was having a nightmare. To care when he was sick. To know what his favorite things were, to know all the things moms and dads should know, all the things he had known about Hailey Jade and Dillion. To get a present, a card, a phone call, anything from them. Why couldn't he have it when they did. Didn't he deserve it too?  
  
But it would never happen. He could never be safe. He had been once, but that didn't last long and felt so long ago.. Why did it have to be like this. And Jordan couldn't tell. Didn't anyone understand he couldn't tell. They'd kill him if he told. Didn't anyone realize that, they'd kill him. They would hunt him down and kill him.  
  
Jordan started crying. Tears were coming down his face, fast and hot. The pillow soaking them up. "Daddy...why....daddy." he cried. He wanted his daddy. Daddy had cared. He had hugged him and kissed him and comforted him. But he wasn't there... why couldn't he be there....  
  
Daddy had died cause Jordan was bad. He had gotten sick because Jordan was a bad boy, and bad boys needed to be punished. That's what Mom said wasn't it. That meant Jordan deserved all this. Why did he have to leave, why did he have to leave him. Didn't he love him enough. Jordan had tried to be good when daddy was sick. Daddy kept saying Jordan was being a good boy. Then why did he die? Why did he leave if he wasn't mad at him? Why did he have to go away, leave Jordan alone with them. Why? What had he done that was so bad. To get this. It must have been something but what?  
  
"Daddy." Jordan cried continuously. No one answered, no one came. He was alone, and scared, and no one was there. He cried himself to sleep......  
  
(PLEASE NOTE- THIS IS A DREAM.... THIS IS A DREAM)  
  
"Jordan." A voice called out, "Jordan."   
  
Jordan opened his eyes from sleep. He adjusted his eyes to the light for a moment, searching for the voice. It was coming from a figure, it looked like... but it couldn't be...."Daddy?" Jordan whispered.  
  
"Yes Jordan." Matthew answered.  
  
"Daddy." Jordan cried. "How? Wha?" Jordan said shocked.   
  
"Shhh Jordan. No questions. Not like that. I'm here only for a while." Matthew said hugging his son.  
  
"Daddy." Jordan said crying.  
  
"Jordan, look how much you've grown, my little boy. You're wonderful." Matthew said kissing his forehead.  
  
"Why?" Jordan asked.  
  
"Why did I leave?" Matthew replied. "I didn't know Jordan, if I had known I wouldn't have left you. I didn't know they'd do this. I never wanted you hurt."  
  
"Jordan I love you. Understand I wouldn't have left you if I had know. I love you to much,"  
  
"I love you to daddy."  
  
"I wanted to protect you. I want you to be safe." Matthew said. "You deserve that."  
  
"No I don't." Jordan said crying.  
  
"Yes you do." Matthew said.  
  
"No, I'm bad, I made you sick. I made you die." Jordan cried.  
  
"No Jordan, the cancer did that. The cancer made me sick." Matthew said, "It wasn't anything you did, it wasn't your fault."  
  
"Daddy I'm scared. They'll hurt me again when I go back." Jordan cried.  
  
"I know your scared baby. But they won't hurt you I know they won't. I'll protect you." Matthew said wiping away Jordan's tears.  
  
"But Daddy, how can you? Why is this happening."  
  
"You mean why did Hailey Jade and Dillion get out first, why you have to go through this?" Matthew asked.  
  
Jordan nodded.  
  
"I knew you were strong, you protected them, You needed to, I couldn't. And I left you in a difficult place. And I am so sorry. But you, Jordan I love you. And you aren't supposed to be with them, your grandparents. Hailey and Dillion yes, they need to be with your mothers family. They didn't know me like you did. But you Jordan, you did, and you need someone, you need someone special." Matthew said. "I know, it's not a good explanation but it's the only one I have."  
  
'Daddy." Jordan cried. "Why's it so hard."  
  
"Cause your scared. But don't worry. I know you can make it."  
  
"Now I have to go Jordan. I want you to know That I love you, and I never meant for any of this to happen." Matthew said Hugging his son hard. "I love you and you don't deserve anything that's happened to you. You need to be safe, what they did was wrong. I want you to tell for me okay? Tell Jordan."  
  
"I can't." Jordan said crying harder.  
  
"Yes... Yes you can." Matthew said getting up. "I love you Jordan, never ever forget that." Matthew said As he walked away. "There are people in this world that love you Jordan, Love you like I do. Care for you. Your brother and sister, they love you. Jamie, she loves you You'll be together soon, and Peter and Sophie, They'll help you. I love you."  
  
"I love you to daddy." Jordan said before realizing what was happening. As he realized his dad was walking away he cried out. "Daddy...Daddy..." but there was no answer. He woke up.  
  
  
LATER ON  
  
Jordan sat up against the wall. Daddy had come to him. He was still letting the words sink in of what he had said. Daddy really came to him. He was still shocked at the idea.  
  
"He said he wouldn't have left." Jordan whispered.  
  
"Who wouldn't have left?" Daisy asked coming in.  
  
"No one." Jordan said to her, taking his food tray from her.  
  
"Didn't look like no one from the look on your face." Daisy said. "You look like you've seen a ghost."  
  
"Not exactly a ghost." Jordan said taking a sip of water.  
  
"Intriguing." Daisy said.  
  
"What ever." Jordan said.  
  
"Who was it." Daisy asked, not really expecting to have Jordan answer.  
  
"My daddy." Jordan said, breathlessly.  
  
"Your Daddy?" Daisy said almost laughing at the word, it seamed so childish.  
  
Jordan glared at her.  
  
"Sorry." She said.  
  
"Sure." He said, not believing her. "Sorry Daisy, but can you leave me alone please." He said kindly, but absently.  
  
"Sure Jordan." She said getting up, without a battle which was unusual for her.  
  
When she left Jordan went to the phone. He dialed Jamie's number. But this time he wasn't lucky enough to get her.  
  
"Hello?" It was Jamie's mom.  
  
"Hi, Mrs. J. Is Jamie there?" he asked.  
  
"Is this Jordan?" Her mom asked happily.   
  
"Yes it is." Jordan said.  
  
"Oh Jordan, we've missed you so much. How is everything?" she said. "I heard your parents are taking a trip over there, to your new school."  
  
"Yeah Mrs. J, they are." Jordan said. "They got here yesterday."  
  
"Well that's good Honey. Listen I love you, here is Jamie."   
  
"Hey!!" Jamie answered the phone happily.  
  
"He came to me Jamie!" Jordan said happily. "He came to me."  
  
"Who Jordan? Who came to you?" she asked confused.  
  
"Daddy. Daddy came to me, and I was dreaming but I wasn't and..." he said.  
  
"Oh my god." Jamie said astonished. It was hard to believe.  
  
"And he said he wouldn't have died if they were going to hurt me, and that you love me and that soon we'll be together and that I should tell, and that I'll be safe soon." Jordan said hurriedly.  
  
"Wait slow down Jordan. He told you that you should tell.... And that we'd be together?" she asked slowly, unsure.  
  
"Yeah, together Jamie. I love you Jamie." He said, he hadn't said that to her like this before and he heard her gasp on the other end. "And He told me I had to tell, that he'll protect me. But..." Jordan stopped.  
  
"But nothing, this is your dad, he wouldn't lie to you. Don't you see Jordan, you'll be safe."  
  
Back at Horizon Peter stepped in the room. "Oh shoot I got to go." Jordan said to her, blowing a sudden kiss. "They're here. I need to go, love you buh bye Jams." He said and hung up.  
  
Jamie held the phone, letting the dead ring settle in her ears for a moment, he loved her, and was going to tell. He'd be safe... He'd be safe... It was a dream come true.   
  
  
HORIZON  
  
"So given any thought to what I said Jordan?" Peter asked, with slight annoyance on his voice.  
  
"You don't know what I know." Jordan started. "You don't know what it's like, you can't pretend you do. And you... You don't know what they're capable of. What they'll do to me, what they've done to me." He said. "You don't know."  
  
"Tell me then." Peter said. "Tell me, and then I'll know."  
  
Jordan breathed in, 'You need to do this.' A voice in his head told him 'Yeah only if you have a death wish. They'll kill you and put your hide on the wall if you do.' Another voice popped in.  
  
"Can I have a glass of water?" he asked suddenly.  
  
"Sure." Peter said, and went out and got it then came back. This time bringing Sophie, and a tape recorder, Jordan knew what it would be for.  
  
He was ready. "My daddy was a good man. He never hurt me. He, he even taught me to mountain climb. I loved him." Jordan said with a tear in his eye. "Daddy loved me. He was always there to protect me. I don't want you ever to call him a bad guy. No one could ever be as good as him, got it." Jordan said, they needed to get that straight first, Kendra and Jackson might have hurt him, but Matthew never had.  
  
"Got it." Peter and Sophie said in unison.  
  
"Mom, she wasn't always like that, just before dad got sick, and after. She just changed." He said softly. "And when she met Jackson I didn't have a chance. God, I hate him so much. He'd never be like daddy. They were perfect for each other, mom and Jackson. Both of them were perfect with each other, the both wanted to hurt me.  
  
Peter and Sophie looked at him.  
  
"I remember the first time the two of them sent me to the hospital. It was Christmas day, I was 8. I tripped on the Christmas light cord and knocked down some ornaments on the tree, and one of them happened to be Jackson's. Got a right hook right above the eye. Mom was wearing her diamond ring. Cut me in the forehead, needed 7 stitches. Jackson broke my arm."  
  
"And when we got there and said I had just fallen on the ice hard outside, no one questioned." Jordan said. "It's so easy to lie to them, their patients are numerous and they work to long. It's the nurses and Doctors that are easiest to lie to. Way easy."  
  
"When they broke my Jaw the first time, They said I got in a fight with my brother. Dillion was 9, do you really think he could have done that." Jordan said. "And then they were taken away." Jordan said thinking of his brother and sister.  
  
"Your brother and sister?" Sophie asked.  
  
"I love them you know." Jordan said solemnly. "When they went to court, to get custody, my grandparents, moms parents, blamed me. Said that if all of this really happened, I should have gotten them out earlier. Said that if I had loved them I wouldn't have had them get hurt." Jordan said crying on his voice; the words hurt as much now in memory as when they had first been said. "I did love them, I protected them. It was my body that got the blows, my skin that burned my flesh that ripped my bones that broke. I needed them. I needed them and no one understood that. I could have protected them, I did protect them. But I had to leave them. I gave so much, and those people took it all away. Just like that."  
  
"That's what they do, is take it all away and hurt you." Jordan said. "They say social services, CPS, they're all supposed to help you. They take you away, tell you your gonna be safe this time, that you won't have to be hurt again. They send you to a foster home, some were bad to, as bad as home. But then you get sent back and sent back, and the beatings are worse the next time. To get Hailey Jade and Dillion out I had to lie. I had to get up there and say that my parents had never laid a hand on me, just my brother and sister, make me look like a bad guy so they could get out. So only I would have to face Mom and Jackson later. And no one cared. I came to court with bruises that day, but no one cares about a 12-year-old when your brother and sister are 9 and 6. They're so innocent, and you... your not. Your nothing."  
  
"The day that my grandparents got custody, they beat me so bad that I was in the hospital for 2 weeks. Did anyone question that?" Jordan asked.  
  
"No" Sophie whispered sadly.  
  
"Right, give the lady a cookie." Jordan said bitterly. "Cause mummy dearest and good ol' step-dad have cop friends. Got to cover it up nice and pretty. All smooth and tied with a bow. According to the record I got in this big huge fight with this kid, this kid that doesn't even exist anywhere in my town. And that's what's in the file. Why don't you think you didn't have it for so long. Cause Jackson's got friends on the inside. Want to know how you got the file anyway?" Jordan asked looking at peter. "Cause you got the cop that he didn't buy off. The ones that always caught me when I ran and turned me over, not knowing anything. Or you got the ones sick of lying now that I wasn't there."  
  
"And You don't know what it's like to get beat for nothing. Ever had Your Jaw broken? Your elbow and wrist at the same time? To have so many broken ribs that you can't breath without that jolting pain that makes you cry, and to get beaten on top of that. No you don't but I do. I know." He said. "What you saw, what you see, Is nothing. Get it nothing. It could be a lot worse. And If they knew I was telling they'd kill me. And You wonder why I didn't want to. Cause they would kill me. And I mean it. They've almost done it before, the only thing stopping them was other people. And if I told they wouldn't have a reason not to kill me, everyone would know, and yet no one would care."  
  
Jordan sat silently for a minute. "You wanna hear the details, read the file, that's a good piece of literature, make sure to bring a tissue cause you'll be laughing till you cry. Read the doctors reports, most of that at least is true. But don't say you understand how hard this is, that you know how hard it is cause you don't."  
  
"You'll be okay Jordan. We'll help you. You'll be safe." Sophie said, trying to make her words sound real to him, though she knew they fell on deaf ears. To him they weren't true.  
  
"They have their ways." Jordan said. "They'll know the second you pick up that phone and be here. They're like blood hounds, like starving dogs on the scent of fresh meat. They'll know." He said. 'They always know."  
  
Peter and Sophie looked at each other. "Jordan, why don't you go to the lodge and meet with the group. We'll be there soon okay."  
  
"What ever." Jordan said getting up painstakingly.   
  
When he left Peter and Sophie got up.  
  
"How could we not see it Peter?" Sophie asked.  
  
"Like Jordan said he's good at hiding. Good at lying." Peter said.  
  
"But we suspected it." Sophie said insistently.  
  
"Sophie. I know. But it's hard. All we can do now is help him." Peter said reassuring her with a hug. "That's all we can do."  
  
LATER ON  
  
Jordan sat on the bridge. The cold air burning his bare arms. It was cold and he should have worn a coat. But he didn't care. It didn't matter to him right now. Nothing really did.  
  
Wasn't it enough for them that he told them? No now they wanted him to talk to counselors at the school, and to the police when they came. God when would it all end, he thought to himself. If telling was supposed to be the good part, why wasn't he feeling any better. He hated talking to people about his problems. He hated being pitied, people thinking they could help him, they could save him. When he knew they couldn't. To put his trust in them just so they could take it all away and hurt him with it. He hated when people made promises he knew they wouldn't keep. He had always kept his promises why couldn't everyone else keep theirs?  
He hated counselors, if there was anything he hated more than a counselor it was a doctor. He had been to one once, right after Daddy died. All those "How does this make you feel?" "How does that make you feel?" "Express your feelings, talk about it it will be alright." Junk was pathetic. Imagine what it would be like "When you get hit how does it feel." 'Um duh it hurts.' "And when your brother and sister were taken away how did that make you feel." "Let me guess, it sucks." Even a moron could figure out the answers to those questions.  
  
And Cops. Cops were evil. They tried to act all nice sometimes, but then they always played the good cop bad cop routine. And Jordan always got the bad cop. How many police had Jackson already gotten to around here? On the freak chance that Jordan would tell. The cops couldn't protect him. No one could.  
  
Jordan was deep in thought when he heard a car pull up and 2 doors slam hard. It was them, Mom and Jackson. Jordan gulped. "Dead meat." He whispered, got up and ran towards the admit building where he knew they were going. He might as well beg their forgiveness before they found out from Peter and Sophie.  
  
"Well if it isn't Mr. Tattle-tail." Jackson sneered, grabbing Jordan's arm.  
  
How could they have known already. It wasn't possible was it??  
  
"I'm...I'm sorry." Jordan said.   
  
"Give me one reason I shouldn't beat the crap out of you right here and right now." Jackson whispered harshly in his ear.  
  
"Please, I'm sorry. They made me tell." Jordan said almost in tears, he hated crying in front of them, it made them stronger, made the blows come quicker and harder. He didn't even know why he was crying.  
  
"You are so dead." His mother whispered in his other ear, grabbing his other arm and twisting it.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said. "Tell them something else, anything, just don't hurt me anymore please." He said as he was hearing his elbow joint pop, and no one was there to help him. All at once he was a little boy again.  
  
******Flashback******  
  
Jordan came home from school terrified, it was school physical day and the made all the kids have physicals. Of course that meant having to take off your shirt for the nurse to check you out. And Jordan had gotten hit the night before and bruises were on his back. And he would not take off his shirt. They couldn't see them. The nurse got mad at him and called mom AND Jackson. He knew they'd be waiting for him when he got home.  
He opened the door slowly. They were on him like lions on their prey.  
  
"So what's this we hear about the nurse and you not obeying her?" Kendra asked pulling Jordan in by his arm and squeezing it and twisting it.  
  
"How do you think that looks Jordan. What do you think she'll say?" Jackson asked slapping him. "You think those bruises are enough to have to keep your shirt on just wait." Jackson said kicking out his knees so Jordan fell to the ground. He took off his belt slowly. It fell again and again.  
  
"What are we going to tell her Jordan?" Kendra asked.  
  
"Tell them anything. Please stop." He said gasping. "Please, anything, tell them anything you want to. They'll believe you. Please." He said crying trying to curl up to protect himself, to be safe, but they didn't stop.  
  
******END FLASHBACK*******  
  
Jordan's face hit the gravel stones. It stung.  
  
"Come on big man." Jackson said.  
  
'Where is everyone?' Jordan asked as Jackson kicked him. The minutes seamed to be ticking on slowly. It was all in slow motion, but the pain... God the pain was unbearable.  
  
"STOP!" Jordan heard a voice yell. "GET AWAY FROM HIM." That was the last Jordan heard till the final blow came and all he saw was darkness.  
  
LATER ON  
  
Jordan woke up. He was really woozy. And the pain... He tried to sit up but couldn't make it. He looked around light blinding him. Where was he what had happened.   
  
"Jordan are you awake?" he hear a faint voice.  
  
"Daddy?" Jordan asked barely audible. He was so out of it.  
  
"Jordan, It's Peter, your okay, your safe."  
  
It was becoming clearer, at least he wasn't with them. "Where am I?" he moaned.  
  
"Your at the hospital." Peter said.  
  
"No...No..." Jordan whined trying to move, to get away. Bad things happened in hospitals. People died, people got hurt, people got taken away... No. It was wrong, he couldn't be there. He needed to get away.  
  
"Shh Jordan your okay." Jordan heard another voice say, knowing it had to be Sophie's. "Get some rest Jordan."  
  
Jordan felt her hand on his forehead. It felt nice, safe. He curled to the touch. It was like when Daddy used to make him feel better after a nightmare. Jordan drifted back to sleep.  
  
  
DOCTORS OFFICE  
  
"Mr. Scarbrow, Miss Becker, please sit down." Dr. Robinson said. The doctor was a man in his mid 30s.  
  
"So how is he doctor, what are his injuries?" Peter asked.  
  
"Well he suffered a minor concussion, a head injury atleast. Probably from the blows he suffered. That's why he blacked out. The medicine we're giving him will release the pressure. Also we've given him some medicine to keep him relativily tranquil, that will give the body time to heal and also relieve the pain. He's got a broken arm, but that will heal, and the bruises will go away eventually." Dr. Robinson reported.  
  
"So there was nothing major really, other than the head injury I mean." Sophie asked.  
  
"Correct." The doctor answered. "But I am inquired to ask, This is a child abuse case is it not. I mean by the extent of these injuries, it's appalling." Dr. Robinson said. "How any doctor couldn't have caught on earlier, I have no idea."   
  
"Let me show you something." Doctor Robinson said, Getting up and turning on his x-ray boards. "These x-rays are the bones of the normal body, all laid out. Without fractures, breaks anything. Notice how clean cut and well defined they all are." He said pointing them out.  
  
Peter and Sophie nodded. "Now look at the ones From your student, Jordan Thomas." He said turning on another light board. There was a drastic difference. "I've counted over 25 fractures, that doesn't include ones that are no longer evident. At any point and time an x-ray would have shown this. A number a lot lower than this would even have had numerable questionalbility." He said gravely. "Especially if you have had your arm broken 3 times. And your jaw twice. The jaws a hard bone to break mind you."  
  
Sophie gulped.  
  
"According to these x-rays Jordan's had basically every rib broken atleast once, the recent ones not even 5 months old. The Jaw was broken twice. The fingers Numerous times. And his feet, that hurts, they look like they've been broken a lot to. All of this is gross negligence on the part of the doctors. But I have to say, I give him a lot of credit for keeping it hidden this long. And some of these bones will never heal right. He'll live with it forever." The doctor said.  
  
"Thanks, Dr. Robinson." Sophie said shaking his hand.  
  
`"Your welcome, sorry to deliver the bad news." He said.  
  
"Thanks." Peter said shaking his hand also. They walked out of the room.  
  
  
AT THE LODGE- Horizon- CLIFFHANGER MEETING  
  
"Did you see what they did to him?" Scott asked.  
  
"Man that was bad. J's gotta be aching." Auggie said to him.  
  
"Yeah I know." Daisy said.  
  
Everyone just happened to be walking to group from the school building when Jordan's parents came up and Peter and Sophie stopped them. They were also there when the ambulance arrived. They were astonished at him. And worried to.  
  
"So he told." Shelby said. "We were right."  
  
"Yes you were, congratulations." Ezra said bitterly.  
  
"What's up with you guys?" Kat asked.  
  
"You didn't see what we saw last night. We were there when Peter and Sophie found out. It was bad." Auggie said. "J freaked."  
  
"Lets get back to group guys, Peter, Sophie and Jordan wouldn't want us to worry about them. So lets get back to work ok." Kat said taking charge. She hated when they were all down trodden.  
  
"Fine." The group said sad for Jordan, and worried, wanting to get their minds off of it.  
  
Later on- The Hospital  
  
Jordan drifted in and out of consciousness. He could hear voices talking around him but nothing registered to him. The panic and fear came and went. He felt woozy at times but then went back to sleep. He knew that it was over.  
But with that he felt a twang of guilt. He had told. He had betrayed them. Sure all they had ever done to him was hurt him and cause him pain. But mom was good once, and she was still his mom. And he had betrayed her. And what would they do with all the stuff he still had there? Now that he was so far away. A lot of memories of daddy were there in that house, along with the memories of them, of course, but still It was daddy.  
  
"Don't think" Jordan told himself. It won't be any better.  
  
He also worried if the cliffhangers knew. He hated when people knew what was happening to him. They looked at him like he was pathetic. That he couldn't take care of himself. And that made him feel stupid. He didn't like it when people pitied him/ That's why he hid it, what would people think of him if they knew. It wasn't like sexual abuse where people know it's not your fault. This was different. In a way it was his fault wasn't it. He was a bad boy. That was true wasn't it?? All they said wasn't it true?  
  
He sighed and went back to sleep.  
  
  
Peter and Sophie sat looking at Jordan sleep. The bruises on his face were becoming more evident now, and they knew that when he woke up again he would be in a lot of pain. They wanted to stay with him to be with him when he woke up. But they had to get back to Horizon. They had other things, other kids to take care of. They decided to take turns watching him. Peter left first. And Sophie sat alone.  
  
Sophie tried flipping though a magazine. How come the only times she was in a hospital was when one of the kids got hurt. That sucked.  
  
"Sophie, are you okay?" a voice asked. It was Frank.   
  
"Yeah frank." She said shaking her head in that way you do when your shocked about something.  
  
"It's tough, isn't it."  
  
"Yeah. Look at him." She said motioning over to Jordan.  
  
"How could someone do this to their own kid. I mean, they could have killed him." Sophie said. "Killed him."  
  
"I know Sophie." Frank said. "It doesn't get easier either, let me tell you."  
  
"And these cases hurt." He said again. "So many unanswered questions. So much guilt from the victims. He's going to have a lot of emotional damage now." He said sadly. "I decided that I would let Jordan stay at Horizon free of charge. He needs to know he's safe. He needs help."  
  
"What about other family members, friends?" Sophie asked.  
  
"His grandparents don't want him, say he's a trouble maker. Will be a bad influence on his brother and sister."  
  
"Jordan's going to be heartbroken." Sophie said sadly. "Isn't there anyone else?"  
  
"There is a family, They've been calling up on Jordan every so often, without wanting him to know about it. The Johnson's. His best friends family I believe." Frank said. "I spoke with them earlier today, about this situation. They said they wanted to see him but they live across from his parents and said that they would fear for him. They are on their way here now. They want to be with him, now that they know he's safe and they can help him/. They offered to take him when Jordan's parents moved or something happened." Frank said.  
  
"So what do we do now then?" Sophie asked.  
  
"Just wait." Frank said.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
I know I don't know how to end this chapter. But this is the kinda end. There will be more, the cliffhanger reaction, and Jamie and her family's arrival. Well hope you liked it. 


	16. memories- songfifc

Memories- A song fic for Jordan  
  
Disclaimer-I do not own any original Higher Ground Members, nor do I own the song HERO sung by Enrique Inglesias. But I do own all the other characters  
  
For this, Jordan thinks about Matthew, his dad, and about his brother and sister and their life.  
  
NOTE- You know writing the story's been hard lately, and I needed a break. And I heard this song and Jordan just came to me. The would you Die for the one you love, thing. And this is my first song fic so there. Oh and where does this take place? I think, right after he gets back from the hotel before being confronted by everyone.  
  
  
  
Jordan laid down on his bed. Alone in the dorm there was no one to interrupt him. The world was tumbling down around him. He had told, how could he have told? He wondered what Daddy would think about him, what would it be like if he was there. Jordan longed for his touch, for his love.  
  
  
  
*'Would you dance  
  
If I asked you to dance?'*  
  
  
  
For a moment Jordan closed his eyes, reflecting on a happier time. It must have been when Jordan had just turned 5. He was wearing Shorts and a t-shirt with Barney on it. Matthew was there grabbing Jordan by both Hands.  
  
"Want to twirl Jordan?" his Daddy asked playfully, full of smiles. It was before he had gotten sick. Jordan laughed. Jordan's Dad Spun around  
  
fast, and Jordan lifted off the ground.  
  
"Daddy I'm flying." Jordan said happily.  
  
  
  
*'Would you run  
  
1 And never look back?'*  
  
Jordan looked at His brother and Sister. Both with backpacks loaded.  
  
"Do you guys have everything, cause we aren't coming back." He said. They were running away. Kendra had hit Hailey Jade last night and Jordan had nursed her, but He couldn't have them in danger. They had to run.  
  
"Where are we going Jordan?" Hailey Jade asked innocently.  
  
"We need to leave Hail." Jordan said kissing her forehead.  
  
"But won't mommy and daddy be back soon?" Hailey jade asked worried. "Won't they be mad."  
  
"We'll be okay Hail, I won't let them hurt you again baby, that's why we're leaving."  
  
  
  
*'Would you cry  
  
If you saw me cryin'  
  
Would you save my soul tonight?'*  
  
  
  
Jordan sat on his bed now, why had this happened to him. He had lost them all. Everyone he loved. Every one except Jamie… but she was so far away, even now. She had come to his fathers Funeral, and had always been there. But she didn't see him. Not after Kendra locked him in the car crying after she hit him. And then he pushed her away from him, when he needed her the most Why had God done this to him? What had he done?  
  
*'Would you tremble  
  
If I touched your lips?  
  
Would you laugh?'*  
  
Then Jamie came into his mind again.. His best friend, his safety, his salvation after all those long nights of beatings. The one he always felt safe with. The one he shared his first kiss with and loved so much, so much he had to hide his pain from her. Her face came into his mind.  
  
"Jordan, Look at me." She said touching his cheek, moving his eyes to her.  
  
"I love you, You're my best friend." She said.  
  
"I love you to Jamie." He said to her, a smile spread on her face. She kissed him softly on the lips, and Jordan was surprised.  
  
"You taste like a tic-tac." She whispered in his ear.  
  
Jordan laughed, it tickled.  
  
  
  
*'Oh please tell me this.  
  
Now would you die  
  
For the one you love?  
  
Hold me in your arms tonight.'*  
  
  
  
Daddy had been sick for a while now. And Jordan knew he was getting worse, even if Daddy wasn't telling him he was. Jordan just knew. And it was making him sad. Jordan wondered what would happen if daddy left him. What would mommy do? Mommy was being mean lately. Jordan felt like crying.  
  
But Jordan knew that daddy was sick, and was going to die soon the night he had had the nightmare. It had been a bad one, and in it an evil black thing had chased Jordan and he cried and cried for his daddy but no one came. When he woke up Jordan ran into daddy's room.  
  
By this time Matthew had his own room, to sick to go up and down the stairs for dinner and sleep and everything. Jordan ran to his room and woke him up crying. Matthew didn't ask any questions. He just hugged his crying child, it took all his strength but Matthew held him.  
  
Jordan snuggled into his dad, but Matthew started coughing, hard. And coughing up blood. "Jordan, Go…get…your…mommy…" Matthew said between coughing and gasps for breath.  
  
"Daddy… Daddy are you okay?" Jordan cried.  
  
"Go get your mother Jordan." Matthew gasped before he started coughing again.  
  
Jordan started bolting out of the room, but as he did Matthew called to him. "Jordan I love you, always remember that." He said as he ceased coughing for a moment, it was the last clear thing he ever told Jordan.  
  
After getting Mom the last thing Jordan knew was the ambulance coming, and guys taking daddy away. He had seen him at the hospital once, but it wasn't daddy anymore. It didn't look like him. 2 days later Matthew died.  
  
  
  
Jordan whipped the tears out of his eyes. But another memory just came  
  
*'I can be your hero, baby.  
  
I can kiss away the pain.'*  
  
  
  
Jordan hugged Hailey Jade and Dillion, trying to get them to stop crying. He should have gotten home sooner. It wouldn't have happened if he had gotten home sooner.  
  
Jordan got home from school, he had had to stay late.. Something seemed not right. It was to quiet. Where were Dillion and Hailey Jade? He looked in the living room and the bathroom. Finally he found them in his room. Hailey Jade had been crying.  
  
"What's wrong Hail. What happened?" Jordan asked urgently, scared.  
  
"Daddy.... Daddy hit me." Hailey Jade cried.  
  
"Wha....What?!?!" Jordan asked angrily hugging his sister so hard wanting to take all her pain away.  
  
"Dad and mom got mad at her. Hailey I guess drew on Mom's portfolio and she told daddy to teach Hailey a lesson so she wouldn't do it again." Dillion said scared.  
  
"When? When did this happen?" Jordan asked Dylan.  
  
"I tried Jordan, I tried to make daddy and mommy stop and they wouldn't. And it was like 15 minutes ago and you weren't home yet. And... And... And..." Dillion said choking up.  
  
Jordan tried to comfort his brother for a minute, hugging him "Shhh. Dillion it wasn't your fault, it wasn't your fault."  
  
"Hailey Jade. Where did he hit you?" Jordan asked her.  
  
"My back." Hailey said. "Jordan. It hurts."  
  
"I know Hail. I know. Worry I'm here now and I'll never let them hurt you like that again okay. Now can you let me see your back?"  
  
They could hit him all they wanted. But when they hit Hailey and Dillion, he couldn't stand for it, they were so… so innocent. So pure, and they didn't deserve that. They didn't. That's why he had gotten them out…  
  
  
  
*'I will stand by you forever.  
  
You can take my breath away.'*  
  
Jordan thought bitterly of the day they were taken away. It hurt so bad. Like he was being pulled apart. He had called the police to protect them, then hid, made them lie saying he wasn't there. That meant they were safe. And no one wanted Jordan anyway. No one wanted 3 kids in a foster home, and Jordan didn't want that for Hailey Jade and Dillion.  
  
It hurt him, like a blow in the chest, the air knocked out of him when he saw them pulling away. They were supposed to stay together. He could protect them if they stayed together. But he needed to protect himself to, and that meant staying…  
  
*'Would you swear  
  
That you'll always be mine?'*  
  
Jamie's face came in after that memory, why was she always popping up in it? All the time. But this time it was a sad memory. Right after he vowed never to come to her house again. She had told him that she would always love him. And Jordan had laughed. And she got mad. No one had said that since Dillion and Hailey Jade left. All the people that had said that to him had hurt him, left him, abandoned him, died even. And he couldn't have her leave him to, he needed her, and he needed her with him, but not as close. It was to scary.  
  
*'Would you lie?  
  
Would you rub in mind?  
  
Have I gone to deep?  
  
Have I lost my mind?  
  
Well, I don't care you're here tonight.'*  
  
And then it was all over. He was still back in Horizon. Still faced with the ultimate doom of his mom and Jackson. The call Peter would soon make. All the lies were unraveling, and he couldn't save himself. He had tried to cover it up, lies upon lies. To save himself. Why wasn't it working anymore. Everyone knew. Everyone. And they couldn't. He wanted… He wanted… Well Jordan didn't know anymore. He threw his pillow over his head and willed sleep to come, dreams didn't always come in sleep, the memories didn't flood back as vividly as they did when he was awake at times like this. They always came in times of distress when he was awake. At those times, unlike regular times, dreams were safe. He was safe in them, not like now… He finally fell asleep.  
  
  
  
*I can be your hero baby.  
  
I can kiss away the pain.  
  
I will stand by you forever.  
  
You can take my breath away.  
  
You can't take my breath away*  
  
  
  
THE END… I know, so very corney 


	17. Memories- Pt. 16- THE FINAL CHAPTER

Memories- Part 16  
  
Disclaimer- You guys know this all by now (…. And plus I am just way to lazy today to write it)  
  
Note 1- For those of you who thought that the songfic was the last chapter. Sorry you are the weakest link…. Goodbye! Hehehe…. Anyways it wasn't.  
  
Note 2- I find myself writing this again after watching CBS's show 'The Guardian'. I did that last time too. And it's the weirdest show to get inspiration from too…. Hehehehe  
  
I guess it's all finished now. I never wanted it to be, that's why it's taken so long. Jordan is like my baby, I've written him from start to finish, so maybe it was a little hard letting go (. Anyway thanks to Megan G. My biggest fan (she'll be happy when I mention her) I think I will make more of Jordan's story before horizon. And someday you will see him on your bookshelves!  
  
HOSPITAL ROOM-  
  
Jordan woke up to the blinding light, it hurt his eyes immensely. He had been drifting in and out of consciousness for 2 days. The doctors were lessening the pain medication so he would get up now and then. The pain from his arm and his head, especially his head really was getting to him. He tried to pull himself up. There was no one in the room, and he was glad. He wanted to be alone. Eventually after a few minutes though he dosed back to sleep.  
  
15 MINUTES LATER  
  
Jordan opened his eyes to the slight tapping at the door. Though still partially asleep he sat up again. It was Jamie, and… and her family at the door. He had to be imagining this.  
  
"You look like crap." Were the first words out of Jamie's mouth as she came to him.  
  
"Jamie is that you?" He asked barely in a whisper, not wanting to ruin it if it were a dream.  
  
"No it's the queen of England." Jamie said laughing hugging him softly.  
  
"I'm sorry…" he cried to her, "I'm sorry." He buried his head in her shoulder and chest.  
  
"Shhhh you'll be okay." She whispered to him, kissing his head.  
  
After a few moments Jordan stopped. He couldn't look at them. He was ashamed. After all his parents had done to him he was ashamed. He couldn't look at Jamie cause he had lied to her, and cried in front of her, he couldn't look at her parents because he had hid it all from them. He knew he had hurt them too.  
  
"So How are you feeling Jordan, Better?" Jamie's mom, Allison asked, hugging him.  
  
"I guess so." Jordan said softly.  
  
"We're so sorry Jordan. We should have known. We should have seen it." Frank, Jamie's father said to him, hugging him too.  
  
Jordan didn't acknowledge what Frank had said. But that was enough for all of them.  
  
"So, how did you find out?" he asked, breathing in deeply though it hurt. "Why did you come here?"  
  
"The administrator of the school called. Frank? Is that his name?" Allison asked.  
  
Jordan nodded his head.  
  
"He told us what had happened. What they had done to you." She continued. "We left as soon as we could. Especially when we heard about everything."  
  
They were all silent for a moment.  
  
"I wanted to tell you so many times." He said to them sadly. "I just couldn't."  
  
  
  
******* FLASHBACK ******  
  
14 year old Jordan knocked on the kitchen door of Jamie's house. Hoping she would be alone in the kitchen he wanted to talk to her, to get away for a while. But he soon realized that he wouldn't have it off that easily. She and her Parents were sitting at the kitchen table.  
  
Jamie came to the door. She looked at Jordan. He looked disheveled to say the least. His hair nappy and his clothes dirty. And he had bruises on his face. She wondered where from.  
  
"Hello Jordan." Jamie's mother said, "Come sit down."  
  
Jordan sat down reluctantly. He looked at them, wishing he could hide. He just wondered what he must look like. The bruises from last nights beating so evident. He tried to avoid eye contact with them.  
  
"Are you hungry Jordan?" Jamie's father asked. "Here have a cinnamon bun." He said giving one on a plate to Jordan who eyed it hungrily.  
  
"Thanks." Jordan said as he ate it quickly. He hadn't eaten in a few days, his parents newest form of punishment. They liked slipping in starvation once in a while.  
  
"What happened to your face Jordan?" Jamie's mother asked concerned.  
  
'Tell the truth, you love them, they'll protect you.' A voice inside him said.  
  
"I got in a fight that's all." Jordan said solemnly hoping to be believable.  
  
As he finished up the bun. "Can I have another?" he asked hungrily.  
  
"Sure." Jamie's father said, "Help yourself."  
  
Jordan grabbed another one and ate it in a hurry.  
  
"Is everything okay at home Jordan?" Jamie's mother asked.  
  
Jordan looked at her for a minute. 'No.' he thought to himself. 'Not you guys too. God, why do you have to ruin a good thing, why do you have to ask questions like that?'  
  
"Jordan?" she asked again when he said nothing.  
  
"Everything's fine." He said, a little too loud. "Why do you all have to ask that? Why does everyone have to ask that. 'Oh Jordan are you okay?' 'Oh Jordan is anything wrong at home, you seam a little out of it.'" He said loudly too, his emotions growing. "I wouldn't expect it from you. I thought you guys knew me enough not to ask. But your just like them, your just freaking like them." He said panicky. "Everything is fine, I can take care of myself." He said getting up.  
  
Jamie's house was the only safe place left in the world, his only haven from their wrath at home. From the abuse. And now, just like that, it was gone. He wasn't safe there anymore.  
  
"Bye." He said getting up. "Thanks for the breakfast."  
  
He was out of the door before any of them could reply.  
  
"Jordan wait." Jamie yelled after him.  
  
But he didn't listen. He ran. And that was the last time he ever came over too.  
  
***** END FLASHBACK *****  
  
"I'm sorry that I upset you. And that I stopped coming over. I just…" he said and hesitated "I just couldn't have you be like everyone else."  
  
He looked up at all of them, at the whole family. From Jamie, to her parents, to her siblings Jake and Rylan. The waited for him to say more.  
  
"When you started asking questions, I wasn't safe anymore. Only bad people ask questions, the doctors, the cops, the social workers." He said, knowing how stupid it must have sounded to them when he said cops and doctors were bad people. "You guys weren't supposed to ask questions. I was supposed to be safe with you guys. I always was before. And then you asked questions, and it was gone." He said almost crying, "You guys were the only safe place and you started and it was gone just like that. There was no place else." He said desperately. "You weren't supposed to ask questions. You weren't. I was supposed to be safe with you. You couldn't ask questions and you did. You did and you weren't supposed you. You weren't… you weren't…. you weren't." he said crying now.  
  
"Shhhh." Allison and Frank said hugging him. "We're sorry Jordan. We're sorry."  
  
Just then Peter and Sophie came in. Jordan shot up. He wondered what they would say to him now. Probably that it was all his fault. That he deserved it cause he hadn't told sooner.  
  
"You must be Mr. And Mrs. Johnson." Peter said extending his hand for a shake. "I'm Peter Scarbrow, and this is Sophie Becker."  
  
"Nice to meet you." Frank and Allison said shaking their hands.  
  
"When do I get to leave?" Jordan asked suddenly.  
  
Peter looked at him. Why was Jordan so insistent of going away.  
  
"You were in pretty bad shape Jordan, at least a couple more days. This is the first day you've been awake for a while. They want to check you out."  
  
"I HATE HOSPITALS." Jordan said loudly.  
  
Allison looked over at him and went to sit on his bed. Jordan looked down, not wanting to meet her eyes when she yelled at him. He knew she would.  
  
"Jordan." She said softly. "Jordan look at me." She said, putting her hand under his chin, she was a mom and knew these things.  
  
He looked at her. "I know you don't like hospitals. But it's just for a couple of days okay. And we'll be with you, Me and Frank and Jamie, and those guys too. I know your scared okay. We won't leave you alone here Jordan. You won't be alone." She said. And it calmed Jordan a bit.  
  
"I'm tired." Jordan said after about 15 more minutes.  
  
"Okay, We'll let you go." Jamie said blowing him a kiss. She and her family left. Peter and Sophie followed them.  
  
OUTSIDE THE ROOM-  
  
"Mr. And Mrs. Johnson, can we talk to you for a moment." Peter asked.  
  
"Sure." Frank said. "Jamie, why don't you take Rylan and Jake and get some lunch in the cafeteria, we'll be right there." He said giving Jamie some money.  
  
"'Sure daddy." Jamie said and walked away, not before giving a questioning glance at Peter and Sophie.  
  
"Allison and Frank please." Allison said as they met up with Peter and Sophie. "It's less formal and more comfortable that way."  
  
"Same for us, Peter and Sophie is fine." Peter said. Getting the formalities out of the way Peter got down to business.  
  
"Why doesn't Jordan like hospitals?" Peter asked as the four sat down in chairs across from the room.  
  
"In case you didn't notice Mr. Scarbrow," Frank said, knowing this issue wasn't meant to be casual and the question held more to it than just a simple child-like dislike for hospitals, "Jordan doesn't just not like hospitals, he hates them."  
  
"Why does he hate them then?" Peter asked again.  
  
"We've known Jordan since he was born. Matthew grew up with Frank and I. The three of us ran around together all the time. I don't know what he ever found in Kendra, she wasn't like him. Maybe it was the idea that she was troubled that he latched onto, he felt the need to help her." Allison started, there was no way a simple explanation was possible. "Matthew was a great man. He helped out everyone, even Kendra. If one good thing happened from their marriage it was Jordan, Hailey Jade and Dillion."  
  
She stopped for a moment, looking at Peter and Sophie. Then at her husband, wondering if she should continue or if he would do it. He nodded, telling her to continue.  
  
"Matthew loved Jordan. That boy was his pride and joy. He taught Jordan to love nature. He took him mountain climbing from the time that boy could walk. Kendra was different. More detached. We thought she loved Jordan, and it looked like she did until Matthew Got sick. Maybe it was just to appease him. We don't know." She said. "Anyway. When Matthew was diagnosed it was heartbreaking for everyone. Especially Jordan, even though he was so young, and we tried to keep him from knowing how bad the situation was but Jordan always knew. I know Matthew told him. Matthew never kept secrets from Jordan. He didn't think it was right."  
  
"Jordan started acting differently when Matthew got sicker. We thought it was just his daddy being sick. But we know from Jamie it was more than that. That's when Kendra started to hit him. And with Matthew gone there was no one for Jordan to run to. He changed after that, especially when Kendra married that man, Jackson. Those two were like peas in a pod. The same in every way. Jordan became more protective of Hailey Jade and Dillion. We suspected but we never knew. We hoped we weren't right. For their sake and Matthew's. If Matthew knew, he would never forgive himself. He would never want to see his children hurt. He loved them." She said pausing, coughing. "But I am getting off track. You want to know why Jordan hates hospitals." She said.  
  
"When Matthew got sick the cancer hit very fast and very hard. It started in his kidneys and moved everywhere else. The doctors said that it was in the late stages. But Matthew hadn't felt sick before hand so no one understood. Jordan watched his daddy get sicker and sicker. On the night that they took Matthew to the hospital the final time, a couple of days before he died. Jordan was with him when Matthew started coughing up blood. The ambulance came, we rushed over and Jordan was just standing there. Looking. And Kendra didn't do a thing." Allison said bitterly. "He visited Matthew in the hospital the day that he died. Jordan was 6 and Kendra left him there in the room with Matthew, tubes all down his throat and all over his body. We saw it and had to leave the room, It wasn't the Matthew we knew anymore. It was his body but it wasn't him. Jordan was there when his dad Flat-lined. Matthew died right in front of him. He watched the doctors do CPR and he heard them pronounce him dead. It was a terrible thing and Jordan was all alone. That's why he hates hospitals. They took his daddy away from him. They took his brother and sister way from him. They took it all away and left him alone. That's why he's scared and that's why he hates them." she said sighing loudly.  
  
Allison and Frank were holding hands now. She had said all that needed to be said.  
  
"You couldn't have known why." Frank said. "But we aren't leaving him alone again, in a place like this. You have to understand that." He said. "He's like our son. And We love him."  
  
"We know you do." Sophie said smiling. "We know, and so does he."  
  
  
  
BACK AT HORIZON-  
  
The cliffhangers were all sitting around the table in the lodge. They were having an informal group session.  
  
"Hey guys, when do you think Jordan will be back?" Juliet asked worried.  
  
"That is if they let him come back." Scott mumbled under his breath.  
  
"What?" Kat asked.  
  
"I said that's if they let him come back. He did run, and he has no one to pay the tuition anymore. So what if he doesn't come back." Scott said. "I hate to say it, cause it does sound hypocritical with me saying it, but we do have rules, and Jordan broke them."  
  
"I think he's coming back." Juliet said.  
  
"He might be. I asked Peter and Sophie yesterday." Kat said. "And Jordan should be back by the end of the week, maybe that means he's staying."  
  
"Maybe." Scott said still doubting it. "I wouldn't put it past them, but I mean it's very unlikely."  
  
"Can we talk about something else please?" Daisy asked, the topic was lowering her mood and she wanted to talk about something else.  
  
"Like what Daisy, Jordan is our group member, and he's hurt." Juliet said.  
  
"We didn't talk this much about Ezra when he tried to commit suicide, and he almost died." Daisy said stressing the last words. "Get a grip on reality guys. People beat their kids everyday."  
  
"So that doesn't make it right." Shelby said.  
  
"That's right, it doesn't. There's no excuse for it." Daisy said. "But it happens, just like people are raped and killed everyday. Jordan's not any different from hundreds of other kids, just like you two," she said looking at Shelby and Scott "are any different from hundreds of others either. None of us are." She said.  
  
"Yeah we are." Kat said retaliating. "Cause we're getting help. We're beating it."  
  
"Well not everyone has a nice little school to run to." Daisy said.  
  
"God, will you all just shut up." Ezra said finally.  
  
They all looked at him. "Sure bad things happen. But good things happen to. Can we just drop it already." He said. "Now I'm leaving."  
  
Ezra got up and walked out.  
  
"I never thought I'd say this but Freakin is right." Shelby said. "This is stupid. He's one of us. It could have been anyone of us where Jordan is, we've all been there." She said. "Yeah we aren't any different from the millions of other people out there. But we have here and that makes us special."  
  
"Sure does." Auggie said.  
  
The group agreed. The bell rang for class and everyone left.  
  
  
  
THE HOSPITAL- THE NEXT DAY  
  
"We need to talk." Peter said sitting across from Jordan, and looking him straight in the eyes.  
  
Jordan looked back. "About what?" he asked.  
  
"How…" Peter started.  
  
"No." Jordan said. "None of this psychoanalysis crap." He said.  
  
"Jordan." Peter said, annoyed just a bit.  
  
"No. I'm sick of all this 'How did you feel when they hit you?' junk." He said. "It's a stupid question." He said. "They're all stupid questions." He said stressing.  
  
"Fine Jordan, you want to talk about a real question?" Peter asked.  
  
Jordan didn't answer. He wasn't ready to fight.  
  
"How did you feel when your dad died then Jordan, is that a real enough question for you?" Peter asked. "Or when your brother and sister got taken away. How did you feel then."  
  
Jordan gasped for breath. It was all so much, so much at once. He didn't want to think about that. The pain that he had felt those times, it hurt worse than any beating he had ever gotten.  
  
"How did it feel when they were ripped away from you? When you couldn't protect them?" Peter asked. "When you couldn't even protect yourself?"  
  
Jordan gasped. He needed an escape. "Jamie." He yelled. "Jamie…. Jamie…" she was in the hall he hoped he heard her.  
  
"How did it make you feel Jordan, tell me." Peter said prodding, it was what needed to be done, it was and he couldn't stop it.  
  
"Jamie. Jamie." Jordan yelled as Jamie came rushing in.  
  
"What's wrong?" Jamie asked as she went over to him.  
  
He hugged her clinging to her for his life. "Please Jamie… please." He said beggingly crying. "Please, please make them stop, make them go away…Please. Please." He said begging, clinging tighter. "I've never begged for anything before just make them stop." He said crying. "Please, Jamie, I'm begging you, please. Make them go away." He said crying, pleading, clinging to her harder and harder.  
  
Jamie had never seen him like this before. Never. And it scared her. By this time her parents had come in and Peter had stood up.  
  
"Please, get out." She said barely in a whisper. "Please." She said. And Peter left.  
  
"Shhh, he's gone. You're okay now Jordan. He's gone, Peter's gone." She said to him, whispering in his ear, rubbing his back, trying to comfort him.  
  
  
  
OUT IN THE HALL  
  
Allison and Frank stopped Peter.  
  
"What were you doing in there?" Frank asked.  
  
"Mr. Johnson, this is my job. I've done this for a long time. Working with kids like Jordan." Peter said. "I know what I'm doing, and what needs to be done."  
  
"Not when you're scaring him to death." Allison yelled.  
  
MEANWHILE IN ROOM  
  
Jordan clung to Jamie. He needed safety. It was all too real.  
  
"Do you think they still love me?" he asked softly. "Do you think they know why I did what I did?"  
  
"Who?" she asked.  
  
"Dillion and Hailey Jade. Do they know I love them? Do you think they understand?" he asked pulling away.  
  
"I think they know you love them." She said. "But I don't know if they understand."  
  
He looked at her, he always hoped that they understood, but they were to young, he kept to much from them for them to understand.  
  
"All I wanted was for them to be safe." He said barely in a whisper. "For them to know what it was like when daddy was still there. What I felt like with daddy. I wanted them to feel that even though I never could again. They could." he said. "I took care of them, I got food for them, I stole food for them. I did everything for them."  
  
"That day they left. I didn't want them with me. Mom and dad were getting worse and I couldn't have them hurting them anymore. Jamie, I couldn't… they were so much better than me. So innocent and pure, and they were so little. They didn't deserve what I got.'  
  
'Neither did you.' Jamie thought to herself but didn't say it.  
  
"I called the cops that day, and I told them that my brother and sister needed help, and then I hid so they wouldn't take me. Mom and Jackson would take me over them any day, just so they could keep beating me." He said. "So I let them go. If I had left with them mom and Jackson would have fought for all of us, and we all would have gone back. They wouldn't have been safe anymore. I couldn't do that."  
  
  
  
*****FLASHBACK******  
  
Jordan hugged his brother and sister as tight as he could before they left the court room.  
  
"Always remember I love you." He whispered to them. "Dillion, be awesome like you always are." He said kissing his brother. "Hailey Jade, be a good girl. You're growing up so fast. I'll see you soon." He said kissing her.  
  
Hailey Jade had tears in her eyes, she was crying. Jordan hugged her. "Shh baby. It's okay. You're safe now. I love you. I'll miss you. You're gonna be okay." He whispered to her. "Now stop crying." He said putting on a smile for her, and wiping away her tears.  
  
"And you mister, take care of your sister for me." Jordan told Dillion winking at him. "You're gonna be the big brother for a while." He said.  
  
"Why?" Dillion asked.  
  
"Someday you'll understand Dillion. Someday." Jordan said, he couldn't bring himself to say anything else. They didn't deserve to know the truth, it didn't involve them.  
  
'I love you both, and I want you to remember that I will always love you. And I will see you soon okay, And I'll write to you, and everything." He said to them as they left. "I promise." He yelled his last desperate wish. "Never forget that okay, never forget I love you."  
  
********END FLASHBACK ********  
  
"No one understands why I did it." Jordan says. "And everyone thinks I'm bad because I let them go. I'm not. I did what I had to do to make them safe. No one gets what went on in there. No one gets it. No one knows what it was like for me. I protected them, from the time daddy died I protected them. I was 6 for god's sakes. And I was changing Hailey's diapers. What more do all you freaking people want from me. I did what I had to, what I could do. Running. I ran with them, so they could be safe. I sent them to friend's houses so they wouldn't be there when mom and Jackson beat the crap out of me. So they wouldn't have to hear their big brother scream for mercy. I went days without food just so they could have the rest of it. I stole for them. I broke the law for them. I had to get them out." Jordan said. "There was no other way."  
  
"No other way for what?" Jamie asked.  
  
"No way to protect them anymore." He said. "Mom and Jackson hit Hailey, I wasn't home and Dillion tried to protect her, but mom and Jackson got to her. I wasn't home. They got hurt and it was my fault. Because I wasn't there to protect them. And they needed to be safe. I gave all that I had left."  
  
"I couldn't survive without them. And then Gram and Pop said that I couldn't see them that it would be bad for them adjusting with me visiting. I called but I never got to talk to them. I wrote letters and they sent back every single one. And now Hailey Jade and Dillion probably hate me cause they don't get, no one gets, why I did what I did. I promised them that I would see them, that I would write to them, that I would always love them. And Look what happened. I broke that." He said.  
  
"And Now Peter wants me to talk about how it feels. It hurts. It hurts so badly, and I can't make it stop. They were the only things I lived for after Daddy died. When he died my childhood died with him. I lost everything I would ever have with him. My innocents, my everything. But Hale and Dill still had it, I had to protect them. I couldn't let that be taken away from them. I know how that feels, and I didn't want them to feel it." Jordan said. "When I realized that I couldn't protect them anymore…" Jordan said and looked up. Peter was at the doorway.  
  
"You ran." Peter said ending the sentence with the answer he knew Jordan was going to give.  
  
"I ran." Jordan said.  
  
"When things got to tough you got them out and then you ran." Peter said, this was the point he wanted to make. "You did what was best for them, because you always put them before yourself. You thought that they were better than you, were worth more than you, were loveable when you weren't. You thought that they deserved to be safe where you didn't."  
  
"They did." Jordan said in protest, but afraid to speak up anymore, knowing his words would betray him.  
  
"And you deserved it to. But you couldn't do it. You were scared and you ran. Just like you ran before."  
  
Jordan looked down, he didn't even feel Jamie squeeze his hand.  
  
"You ran to protect yourself because you thought that you didn't deserve anyone else's protection. Hailey Jade and Dillion deserved for others to protect them, whether it was you or CPS or someone else, but you didn't deserve that did you?"  
  
"No." Jordan said.  
  
"That's where you're wrong." Peter said.  
  
Jordan put his head in his hands. Running his hands through his hair. He didn't want to hear this.  
  
"I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO." Jordan said loudly. "How many times do I have to say it."  
  
"Until you believe it's true." Peter said. "Which seems to be never."  
  
Jordan glared at him. "They needed out more than I did. I could handle everything. They couldn't. I couldn't get out myself, and don't say I didn't try cause I tried like hell…. Pardon my swearing…" he said.  
  
"I made calls, I told the cops. I did everything you goody goodie's think I haven't done." He said and looked at Peter. "You think I never told, I know you do. I see the way you and Sophie and all of you." He said speaking to Allison, Frank, and Jamie too. "You think I didn't to a darn thing. But I tried. I got us out and we got sent to foster homes, one where I was hit just as bad as at home. Places where no one cared. We even got split up once. And we always got sent back. I tried. You better not think for a minute I just sat by and waited for the moment that mom and Jackson would lay a hand on my brother and sister. You're dead wrong then. I got them out didn't I?" he asked all of them "DIDN'T I?" he said screaming for an answer.  
  
"Yes you did." Allison said coming over.  
  
"Then how come everyone thinks that I'm some bad guy, that I'm some stupid kid cause I didn't leave them when they hit me. I deserved it. You guys don't believe that, but you don't know me." He said, "Maybe Jamie does but you guys can't know me. I'm bad. Why else would no one have wanted me with Hailey Jade and Dillion. Answer me that." He said pausing. "Answer my why mom and Jackson always had a reason to hit me. Ask me why I'm here right now. Ask me why all this has happened if I wasn't bad." He said. "See not a single one of you can."  
  
They all looked at him. They hadn't seen it before. Jordan's internal struggle with what he had always been told and believed versus what they all told him, and what Matthew had told him. And it hurt him. Believing that it was his fault, that he was bad, was the only thing that kept the pain from hurting so much. If he lied to himself it seamed less bad. That this all happened for a reason was a lot better than no one understand why and him being hurt for no reason.  
  
"So will you all just drop it." Jordan said. "Please just drop it."  
  
"No." Was Franks reply. "You're not bad, it's not your fault." He said.  
  
Jordan looked at them. Then shook his head, trying to ignore that statement.  
  
"You're a good person, If I had you as a son I would be blessed. None of this is your fault." Frank said again.  
  
Jordan laughed and shook his head.  
  
"You didn't deserve any of this Jordan, it's not your fault." Frank said again.  
  
"I know." Jordan whispered so quietly that no one could hear it.  
  
"You're not bad Jordan, you didn't deserve this. It's not your fault."  
  
The lies were a means of survival. As long as you believed that it was your fault the beatings didn't hurt as much. The words didn't carry such sting. Cause you believed it was true.  
  
"Don't you…" Jordan said and stopped.  
  
"It's not your fault. You're a very good kid Jordan."  
  
"Don't you think I know that." He finally said, sick of all their talk, "Don't you think I know that it wasn't my fault. But you have to believe some things. It hurts worse when you know you didn't cause it. Every time they slam you against the wall, every time they kick, and slap and punch, every time they take off their belt to hit you with it. Every time they yell at you and tell you your worthless and a piece of crap, and no one would ever love you. Every time that happens, it hurts less if you believe you caused it. If you believe you did something wrong. If you believe their words. It hurts less. It makes the pain less. If you know it's not you're fault. It'll kill you. It will make you scream and cry. It will make them hurt you more." Jordan said stating the truth. "You believe what you need to. You do what you have to do. You can only do so much. And that's all." He said plainly. "That's all, so don't say I don't know that. Quit saying it. Cause you don't know what to do to survive."  
  
"Life's not just about survival Jordan." Peter said.  
  
"Yeah it is. You can't survive, it'll destroy you. I saw daddy die. I didn't want them to kill me too. So I did what I had to do to survive it. To keep them from hurting me, to keep them from killing me, to keep them from destroying the only things I had left. Survival is the only thing that matters. As long as you're alive, you're fine. As long as I knew what I knew, what daddy told me. I was beating them. Every time they hit me and I didn't scream, Every time that belt fell and I didn't yell in pain. Every time I didn't beg, every time I protected Hailey Jade and Dillion, I was beating them. I was making them feel what I felt. As long as I'm better than them, I'm surviving." He said staring at every one of them in the eyes. Something he hadn't had the guts to do to anyone in a long time. "And that's all that matters. Sure the pain hurts but as long as you're alive that's all that matters."  
  
Frank squeezed Allison's hand. No one said anything. All that had been said was.  
  
HORIZON- 2 days later  
  
Scott, Shelby, Daisy, Ezra, Kat, Auggie, Juliet, and Jordan took their seats in English class. Jordan had just gotten back. Frank, Allison, and Jamie stood in the back of the classroom talking to Peter they were leaving that night. They wanted to make sure that Jordan was okay. He had had a tough night last night, talking to Dillion and Hailey Jade for the first time since they were taken away from him.  
  
  
  
******THE NIGHT BEFORE- Jordan's hospital room************  
  
"I can't do this." Jordan said to Jamie, his hand's shaking.  
  
"Yes you can." She said to him rubbing his back.  
  
Jordan slowly dialed the phone number to his grandparents' house.  
  
"Hello?" a man said on the other side of the phone.  
  
"I pop." Jordan said clearing his throat. "It's Jordan. You're grandson." He said.  
  
"I know who this is." The man said.  
  
"May I speak to Dillion and Hailey Jade please?" Jordan said barely in a whisper, the man's voice sucking out his courage.  
  
"I don…" the man started to say.  
  
"Grandpa who is it?" A voice said on the other side of the phone. Jordan's heart jumped to his throat. It was Dillion.  
  
"It's for you and Hailey Jade. Tell her to get on the phone too." The man said.  
  
"Thanks." Jordan whispered into the phone. There was a click as another phone was picked up.  
  
"Hello?" 2 voiced said at the same time.  
  
"Dill? Hale?" he asked. "Is it really you?" Jordan said almost in shock.  
  
"Yeah." Dillion said, "It's us." He didn't know who was on the other side.  
  
"This is Jordan you guys." Jordan said.  
  
"Jordan?" Dillion asked almost in a whisper. "Jordan it's really you. Really really you?"  
  
"Yeah Dill it's me. Hailey Jade, do you remember me?" he asked.  
  
Jordan heard a whimper on the other side of the line. "Oh Hailey don't cry. Please baby don't cry." He said soothingly to her.  
  
"Jordan." She cried to him. "You promised to come and see me." She said to him.  
  
"I'm sorry you guys. I love you both." He said trying to appologize, it stung that that was all she could say. "But I had to get safe first. I had to make sure you were okay and then I was okay." He said.  
  
"You're safe now?" she asked questioningly.  
  
"Yeah Hale," He said. "I'm safe now." He said. "No more mommy or dad to hurt me or you or Dillion anymore."  
  
"Jordan why didn't you come back?" Dillion questioned. "Didn't you love us."  
  
"I love you guys, with all my heart. There were things standing in the way. Gram and pop didn't want me to see you." He confessed. "But that's okay, because I didn't want you to. I wanted you to see me well. Mom and dad got worse after you left." Was all he could say. "But I'm away and I'm better now." He said.  
  
"Dillion, Hailey Jade." A voice on the other side of the phone yelled. "Time to get off, we need to leave."  
  
"Jor…" Dillion began sadly.  
  
"I heard them Dillion. It's okay." He said. "I'll explain more to you guys later. Just forgive me okay. I wanted to see you so bad but I couldn't. Hailey understand that please. I love you both." He said.  
  
"I love you Dillion." He said. "Take good care of yourself okay.  
  
"Bye Bro." Dillion said. "I love you too."  
  
"I love you Hailey Jade." Jordan said. "You be my good girl okay. I'm sorry I hurt you and I love you."  
  
"I love you too Jordan." She said.  
  
"Hailey Jade, Dillion, I mean right now." The voice said again. They hung up.  
  
Jordan held on to the phone for another minute after they hung up. He hadn't said all he had wanted to. But at least he had heard their voice again.  
  
********* end of flash back ***********  
  
BACK AT HORIZON  
  
"Who would like to go first?" Roger asked. The class was supposed to read an essay they wrote.  
  
Jordan raised his hand.  
  
"Okay, Jordan." Roger said.  
  
Jordan got up to the front of the class room.  
  
"What have I learned throughout my life?  
  
If you take the good things and the bad  
  
Pain lasts for a while, if it comes from a beating  
  
But longer if someone's taken away from you  
  
Words hurt more if they're true  
  
But less if you believe they aren't  
  
Innocents can remain in others  
  
Though you've lost it in your self  
  
No matter what others say  
  
Sometime running is the safest bet  
  
Slaps hurt  
  
But the belt hurts more  
  
People die every day  
  
But it hurts more when it hits close to home  
  
Cancer kills people every day  
  
They might not look sick but they are  
  
Some times the memories hurt worse  
  
Than the events themselves did.  
  
So here we are with all this learned  
  
There's no changing the past  
  
Daddy still died  
  
Hailey Jade and Dillion were still taken away  
  
Mom and Jackson still beat me  
  
The Johnson's still loved me  
  
Nothing will change what's happened.  
  
The past is in the past  
  
But we're stuck with the memories  
  
Of times both happy and sad  
  
And while the future goes they are  
  
all that will Remain.  
  
The memories we're stuck  
  
Though time will change us all"  
  
He finished and sat down. Scott gave him a slap on the back. All that was said had been said. The stuff that had happened in the past few days had changed Jordan. And all he could do now was use his own advice and just look into the future. Memories might still haunt him, as they do all the cliffhangers once in a while. But with him safe at Horizon, and with the Johnson's, and being in love with Jamie, and being able to talk with his brother and sister again, all the stuff in the future looked good.  
  
Not all the things in the past bothered him, daddy was there. He had loved him. But Matthew had told him to embrace the future. And that is what Jordan was going to do. And Horizon, like it's name, would help him. He was safe, and now that was all that mattered. He had survived.  
  
  
  
THE END  
  
I HOPE YOU ALL LIKED IT. AND I WILL MISS YOU ALL. BUT LOOK FOR JORDAN MORE TO COME OKAY. BUT FOR NOW IT IS FINISHED. 


End file.
